The Beta's Daughter

Please Be Real

Chapter 18
Amber's pov

Do you know what its like to be twenty one years old and never had one real friend?

I hope not.

Because take it from someone who's currently there, it sucks.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I am still currently there. Part of me feels like I finally have made a friend or two, but I've thought that once before and things took a turn I never seen coming.

Things are different when your young, like kindergarden to maybe grade six. Everyone plays with everyone, and there's no circles, like the popular, the pretty, the book nerds. By the time I hit high school I knew which group I fit in to. None. Because nobody was as smart as me, so I had no group to fit into.

My first couple years of high school weren't so bad. I had no friends, but the plus side was that I was ignored. Like I didn't exist. I know that sounds bad, but considering how high school ended, I can tell you it was much better.

That last year is the reason why I'm wide awake at one am, covered is sweat and on the brink of crying.

I woke up ten minutes ago from a recurring nightmare I've been having for the last four years. You would think I'd be used to them by now. The only difference is, I can usually stop myself from crying hysterically now. Not much of a difference, but i'll take it as a win.

This time the nightmare was worse tho. Instead of just the usual four assholes in it, there was a few new faces. Azariah, Micah and Jace to be exact. And that edition is the reason I'm so worked up about it. My inner demon's are back full force right now, telling me that there not really my friends, and it's all just a big scheme to humiliate me again.

I try my hardest not to relive what happened at the end of grade eleven, but my brain has other ideas and lets the whole thing play out like it was yesterday.

I had the biggest crush on one of the popular boys, Mike, and didn't do a very good job of hiding it like I thought. A few months before the end of grade eleven he approached me and asked if I could help him with some homework. Of course I agreed. Mistake number one.

After a few weeks of me helping him he asked me on a date. To say I was over the moon happy is an understatement. I thought I'd finally caught a break. Someone noticed me, and actually wanted to spend time with me. So of course I said yes immediately

After our first date, he asked me out again. And again. Finally after almost two months of dating, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so fucking happy not only to have a boyfriend, but also someone who I thought was a friend. He would tell me how smart, and pretty I was. How any guy would be lucky to be with someone like me, and I believed him. Mistake number two.

Trust me when I say if something seems to good to be true, it probably is.

And my last mistake?? Well let me tell you.

We went out one night and were parked at a secluded spot kids like to go to make out. We'd been here a few times before, mostly just to kiss and feel each other up, over top the clothes of course. We were in the back seat of his parents car, getting pretty hot and heavy when he dropped the 'I love you bomb'. Thats right, he told me he loved me. And I believed him. Why wouldn't I?