Ray of Hope

Secrets and Lies

The rest of the week Raidyn ate in the busy and loud lunchroom. It all seemed unfamiliar to her now, since she spent most lunches with Nick, but he had to leave in an emergency to Washington to see his father and wouldn't be back till Thursday night. She spent time after work with Lora in order not to see Mia, she was furious at her. For what? She wasn't sure. She just was.

Raidyn sat in the corner poking at her lasagna that she had ordered from a nearby Italian restaurant. The place was crowded and if she ate, there would be no chance to do her routine bathroom breaks. Slowly she was adjusting to the disgusting act, and now she would just wait to see if it gave her any results.

She looked at her watch "Damn it I forgot to ask Adam." she sat up throwing away the food and made way to Adam's office and knocked softly.

"Come in" she entered, wiping her hands on her skirt. "What can I do for you...Ray?" he asked, trying to seem professional in front of the rest of the workers.

She fidgeted with her fingers "Uh...I have a doctor's appointment that I had forgotten about and was wondering if it's ok if I trade with Lora and close tonight...I just need an extra hour of lunch. Please" she sighed, waiting for his response.

He smiled that perfect smile "Sure...just to let you know, I'm closing with you tonight" she nodded

"Alright...see you later then."

                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doctor's office was full of people and Mia signed in, then took a seat next to Nick. "I hate these places, '' he muttered.

"Yeah so do I, but we have to come to these shitty places cause we don't have insurance." she crossed her arms over her stomach. "That soda gave me heartburn." she frowned.

"Well I thought you weren't supposed to have caffeine?" Nick whispered as all the women, some with no proof of pregnancy, and others ready to bust like overblown balloons stared at him, the only man in the clinic. "I feel like they are going to jump me for having a dick." he looked around, frightened.

She looked around with a big smile on her face "Lighten up, maybe they are just jealous cause most of them are alone. Anyways...DICK is what got us all here..." she snickered at Nick's annoyed glare.

                                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raidyn slowly put her clothes back on, she hated these stupid check ups. What was so productive about getting poked with odd objects in your most intimate areas. She knew she was healthy, as most people would say, too healthy for her size.

Then again the whole reason for the visit was to prove to herself that protection was the cause of Nick turning her down.

The doctor walked in "Ok Raidyn, I have your birth control in the front and it's free. Also I was going to talk to you about...your weight. You're slightly...over the average weight for your height. I would recommend..." the doctor's voice trailed off, as Raidyn shut the doctor's words out of her mind. I should have known this...every time I go to the doctor it's the same story you're SLIGHTLY overweight and you could die. Yet my cholesterol is perfect and so is my blood pressure. Just admit it, it has nothing to do with my health, but the fact that society doesn't want me the way I am...damn it!

"Yes Doctor, I will go on a diet...thanks..." she nodded, feeling the depressive and disappointing feeling come back to life in her body, the one that had died as soon as Nick had accepted her the way she was. She took a seat in a long hallway, waiting for her name to be called out. I have to go on a diet, I must have gained weight instead of losing. Three days and a half of barfing and nothing. UGH! I should have paid attention. Here I am getting birth control to have sex with a gorgeous man and I'm being told that I'm overweight...yeah that really gives me confidence. This week sucks fat...FAT...ME!