Her Alpha Mates

17.

MATEO

I couldn't sleep all night and kept thinking about her. I was second-guessing my decision to let her go. I should've made her stay. I should've kept her until everything between us was clear and set. Instead, I let her go.

Even though my wolf was yearning for her, craving her, I didn't want to coerce her into this. I let her go because I wanted her to feel safe with me. She had been somewhat overwhelmed when she saw me, but something else about her transfixed me.

I tried to catch a wink of sleep, but the thoughts of her wouldn't leave me alone. I regretted letting her go. So much for wanting to make her feel comfortable.

It had taken a lot of self-control not to sweep her into my arms, take her to my room, and stay there until we were properly mated. That was what usually happened when an Alpha found his mate.

Once an Alpha found his mate, his wolf wouldn't rest until they had properly mated. Sometimes, that didn't end well for the woman. There had been many instances where the Alpha forced himself on his mate instead of taking time with her, scarring her for the rest of her life.

I couldn't imagine myself doing that. Even if I were on the verge of losing my mind with the need for her, I'd never force myself on her. She'd always be in charge of how the relationship would progress, but being in the relationship was my call.

Maybe she was overwhelmed by my Alpha status, which was understandable to an extent, but... I don't think that was precisely the case with Myra. She looked rather surprised and... disappointed to find out she had been paired with me.

I'd never forget that look on her face. It was permanently etched in my brain. Knowing that I had failed whatever expectations she had of a mate made me ache, but I was fiercely determined to make it up to her and show her that I was far better than whatever she had in mind. I was willing to do everything for her... all she had to do was ask.

Instead, she left.

I groaned, tossing in bed. I had felt restless for the past week, but now that I knew why, my restlessness seemed to worsen.

She had changed me in one single meeting. Literally.

Since I saw her, breathed in her essence and touched her, my body could only think of her. Especially my cock, which was painfully hard, but there was more to that— the knot.

It wasn't there before, but now, feeling it expand at the base of my cock in preparation for her made this even more torturous. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom for a cold shower to calm my body.

I stripped off my grey pants and stepped into the bone-chilling cold shower. Goosebumps imploded all over my skin, and it felt like an iceberg had hit me, but despite that, my cock throbbed hard like a rock.

At the base was my new knot, swollen thick with seed, waiting to be surrounded by her cunt. I groaned as I took myself in hand and stroked myself. It didn't provide any relief whatsoever. Instead, it seemed to have worsened the ache.

I continued stroking myself, paying extra attention to the knot which wasn't there before. Myra had done this to me, and this was permanent. Every time I'd look at it, it would remind me of her. She'd ruined me this way forever, and this realization worsened her absence.

I needed her beside me. Even if she wouldn't let me claim her, I'd be okay with that. I'd bear the torture without a complaint, but I couldn't ever live with her absence from now on.

Earlier in the evening, I could've never imagined that I'd experience something so fucking life alternating. But even if I did, nothing would've prepared me for Myra. She was... magical. That's how she had made me feel during our brief exchange.

Meeting her felt like a miracle, like she was a divine blessing in my life, but that blessing had been snatched away far too soon for my liking. I growled, stroking myself harder, thinking about her— her body, her smile, her beautiful face.

She was a work of art, and I'd feel honoured to have her by my side. I thought of her full breasts as I stroked her. Even though she was tall, she had perfect curves. I'd been distracted by her breasts and her hips all evening.

I palmed myself roughly, edging closer to my orgasm. I placed a hand on the glass wall while I stroked myself. The cold shower was still on, but it didn't do much. All my focus was on her, making me forget the chilling water.

Instead, my body seemed to heat up even more, anticipating the release. I threw my head back and came with a moan. Thick white strips shot out of my cock, painting my hand before washing away under the shower.

I looked at my seed, panting after the release. It was thicker than usual. It was my body's way of preparing to claim her and her womb. I thought of filling her with my seed, and it hardened me instantly despite my previous release.

My knot felt tighter and more uncomfortable. No matter what I did to soothe myself, my whole body and wolf seemed to want only one thing— Myra. And without her, I couldn't feel peace.

I needed to find her again, or I'd lose my mind. I couldn't go long without having her beside me. I needed to see her, to touch her, to fill my lungs with her intoxicating scent, which relaxed me but at the same time incited inextinguishable desire inside me.

It was the kind of desire that would make me follow her to the edge of the earth, to purgatory or even hell, to wherever she was planning to go. As long as she was mine, it wouldn't matter. Without her, I felt like my existence had no meaning- it hadn't had a meaning all this time. I was merely pretending to live, but meeting her had changed everything.

She gave me a glimpse of all the things I could have, and I was fucking addicted to that already. But when she left, I felt like someone had pushed me into an abyss of melancholy. I felt like I was merely floating through space without a destination, a purpose or a name. I felt like I was nothing.

I needed to find her. The sooner, the better.

I stepped out of the shower instantly and checked the time. It was sometime four in the morning. I started dressing. I needed to go down to the pack immediately.

~

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