The Starting Line

Chapter 26

S9 EP04

Eleanora is sitting in the gallery looking toward OR 1, between reading a new article and watching Meredith undergo surgery for a rare tumor. Owen was sitting next to her, and Eleanora was sure she was about to fall asleep.

The door to the gallery opens and Derek enters. Eleanora sends him a smile before looking back at the article in front of her, highlighting a part of it.

"Hello." Derek greets, looking towards the operating room. He sat next to Eleanora, sighing a little. "That's a big tumor."

"Yes, it is." Owen agreed. Eleanora smiled, looking at her friend with pride in her eyes.

"It's her first big tumor. I'm very proud."

"She didn't even tell me." Derek states. Eleanora winces and sends him an apologetic look. She just pats his shoulder reassuringly, and Hunt raises an eyebrow. "I found out from one of my interns."

After a moment, Derek comes to a conclusion, shaking his head a little. "My wife is coddling me."

"No, I don't think-" Eleanora tries, but her tone shows that she doesn't really believe her own words. Derek shakes his head, a little surprised.

"It does."

"Shepherd," Owen begins, "you have a reputation for needing to be coddled."

"Sorry?"

"Sorry?"

Eleanora and Derek spoke at the same time, giving Owen a very identical 'what did you just say?' look. He gave them a small laugh before continuing.

"You fight for your patients against the worst possible odds, but when things get tough for you personally, you leave. You go into the woods to drink and grow a beard."

"And with everything that's happened lately, maybe she just... worried that the slightest thing would make you run out to that trailer and leave her alone in the house you gave her, not sleeping at night because in any room "Wherever she lies down, she just can't get away from the fact that you're not there."

Eleanora in the operating room, listening to Hunt's words. His words are too close to her and she finds himself fiddling with her rings. She bites the inside of her cheek, and her mind spins as she thinks of all the nights she's had to spend feeling alone just because Mark wasn't able to look her in the eyes.

He was better now, at least with her. Little by little they had returned to normal, to being loving and being able to be happy. But he wasn't all right, he wasn't able to let her look at him for long if he didn't have his shirt on, he couldn't look into her eyes after a nightmare.

"It seems like you had everything prepared and ready to say." Derek scoffed, making Eleanora give a small snort as she returned her focus to the two men at her side.

"Have you practiced it in the mirror, Chief?"

"You are incredible." Hunt laughed, Eleanora and Derek smiled. "I had a version. It was meant for someone else, you know, but eh, it kind of works here too."

"You don't think she'll come back." Derek stated. Eleanora's face fell and she looked at her article, her eyes falling on it. "You don't believe so either."

"I hope she does." Eleanora said quietly, fiddling with the edge of one of the pages. "I hope she comes back and that everything is a little more...normal. But I don't think she will, because nothing is the same. Not anymore."

_____

Eleanora enters the bathroom, towel in hand. She planned to shower and go to bed, since in the morning she had removal of a tumor on a spine.