Darcy.

Heartattacks & Tattoos.

"I hate you."

"You've already said that." Darcy points out.

"Good."

When Darcy said we would steal the liquor I thought it was a joke; but here we were, currently parked outside of a "Premier Wines" liquor store. At least it was only around 7 minutes away from our motel, but it was surrounded by some sketchy looking alleyways.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, unbuckling my seat belt.

"I'll go in after you. Once I give the signal, fake a.. I don't know, heart attack or something. Then I can steal the liquor and we can both escape. Get it?"

"Sir yes sir." I say, giving him a mock salute. He rolls his eyes at my sarcasm but leans over to kiss my cheek anyways.

"Good luck sweetheart." Darcy chuckles, pinching my cheek. "Look at you," He coos, pulling my cheek so hard I wince. He reminded me too much of my grandma, which was not a good thing. "You're turning into such a little delinquent."

"Oh shut up and let me go fake a heart attack," I mutter, hauling myself out of the car. Darcy leans over just in time to smack my ass before I'm out of his reach, resulting in me cursing under my breath and flipping him off on my way to the store.

~*~

Ok, so I had no idea what to do.

It's been like, I don't know, 10 minutes or so and Darcy still hasn't given me the signal. Or maybe he did.

The douche didn't even tell me what the signal was. The only information I had was that the signal was supposed to be something obvious.

"Ma'am, may I help you with something?" A voice sounds from behind me. I let out a loud squeal, whipping around so fast my neck cracks.

"Ow dammit," I mumble, rubbing my neck as I look over the person in front of me. He was pretty tall, somewhat muscular with blonde hair and grey, smokey eyes. "Sorry.. uhm," My eyes search for a name tag. "Codie. I was just looking at you know.. the beer cans. Quite beautiful, don't you agree?"

Codie looks at me like I have two heads. "Yeah- I mean, yes ma'am, I guess so. Anything I can help you with?"

"Nope."

"Ok.. Well. Call me over if you need anything?" He says, back already turned to me.

"'Kay."

'I'm about to give the signal.' Darcy's words float around in my mind. I don't even bother with a reply, I just wait for him to give me the signal.

"CAWWW CAWWWW." As soon as Darcy's obnoxious bird call sounds from 2 isles down, I start gasping and wheezing for air.

"H-H-HELP. CO-CODIE." I yell/wheeze, clutching at my chest as I sink to my to my knees. He rushes over, attracting a few curious glances from shoppers. "G-get help. No medica-cation on me." I gasp rolling onto my stomach and flailing myself around on the floor.

"SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1." Codie shouts, causing some of the staff members to scurry off to where the phones were. There was now a huge circle of concerned people crowded around me.

"I SEE THE LIGHT!" I scream, convulsing on the ground. The crowd gasps, some even going as far as crying. I had to give it to them, they had a bunch of compassion for a stranger.

'Alright, I'm outside with the liquor. Time to make a super recovery babe.'

"WOAH." I shout as soon as Darcy gives me the heads up. "I FEEL AMAZING. PRAISE THE LAWD JESUS CHRIST. A MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED IN THIS VERY STORE. CAN WE HAVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR MY HOME BOY JC?" I start clapping my hands together but nobody copies me. "No? Oh okay way to leave a girl hanging."

And then I run out of the store.

~*~

"Blame It all on my roots, I showed up in boots, ruining your black tie affair!" Darcy sings, swaying a little as we walk down the dingy alleyway. I grab the bottle from his hand, taking a large swig of the sharp liquor.

"The last one to know, the last one to show I was the last one you thought you'd see there!" I sing, using the bottle of Jack Daniels as my microphone. Darcy whoops and hollers, taking the bottle back and using it as his microphone too.

"And I saw the surprise, the fear in his eyes, when I took his glass of champaign!"

"And I toasted you, said hunny we may be through, but you'll never hear me complain!" I giggle, pointing to Darcy to start the chorus. His right eye drops into a wink, taking a swig of the Jack Daniels before handing it back to me.

"Yeah, I've got friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues awa-" He stops singing mid-sentence, pointing to something far in front of me. "Tattoo parlour!"

I squint into the distance."What?"

"Lets get a tattoo!"

"I may be super drunk, but I'm not an idiot." I slur, tucking the almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels under my arm.

"I'll let you choose my tattoo if I can choose yours." He offers, gesturing towards the sketchy looking tattoo parlour.

"Promise not to t-" I cover my mouth as I let out a hiccup. "-tattoo a penis on me?"

"Ugh, you ruin all of my fun." He whines, pushing out his bottom lip in a pout. Figures he'd want to tattoo a penis on me.

"Promise?" I urge. He sighs and reluctantly nods his head.

"Promise."

"This calls for a celebration!" I shout, the idea of a tattoo kind of exhilarating me. It was also very reassuring to know he wasn't going to tattoo male private parts on my body.

"Damn right it does!" He yells back, grabbing the bottle from my hand. He takes the last gulp of Jack Daniels and smashes the now empty bottle on the ground. "OPRAH!"

"OP-OPRAH?" I wheeze, clutching my stomach as I double over in laughter. "It's Opa, idiot."

He frowns at me. "Just for that, you're getting an ugly tattoo." And with those heart-warming words, he half jogs half trips over to the tattoo parlour.

~*~

WOAH THIS IS CRAZY I GOT MY UPDATE OUT ON A THURSDAY AM I BEYONCÉ YET

so yeah I've decided on the winner, which will be announced tomorrow in a little authors note I will be posting.

Anyways how're you all doing? I'm having an ok week.

There's only one thing left to do I guess..

TRAMPOLINE THAT BOOTY

I'm not on crack I swear I'm just really hyper right now u feel.

Probably all the redbulls I drank today hA

WHO LIKES RICE PUDDING I ACTUALLY DO IS THAT WEIRD I FIND IT THE KANYE BEST

Oh and ill be updating on Saturday/Sunday IF I feel like writing / don't have writers block it's the struggle guys the struggle is real.

-Mother Slanda x