→ Newt- Happy Pills ←

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WARNING: Mentions of drugs and depression.

I have no good reason why I wrote this kind of imagine. I just got inspired by the song.↑↑

If you don't like these things, don't read this.
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You look disgusting.

Be useful and let me get in your pants.

You don't belong here.

You're useless.

You're a curse.

Just die.

Every single one of them. It had been said to me after being in this shithole for 2 months. Everyday, when the sun comes up through the glade, when I walk in for breakfast, they would give me dirty looks as they judge me.

Tonight, there's a bonfire for the new greenie this month named Mike. And I was high.

I could see everything becoming all colorful and wonky. It made me laugh. I was walking backwards as I admire it. Until I bumped into Gally who had a jar of moonshine in his hand.

I gasped when he got drenched by it and then laugh. His eyes shot up to me in a glare, "You think this is funny, you dumb shank?" He snapped as he grabbed the collar of my shirt.

Suddenly, I was sober enough to realize what I had just done, "I am so sorry, let me-"

"Forget it!" He pushed me down to the ground, "You think you can do something about it? You're just a useless little piece of klunk!"

Of course, the others didn't have the audacity to stop him. Instead, they snickered and laughed at my face.

"Leave her alone, Gally. It was an accident." I heard Newt say to him.

Newt was the only one who didn't do or say any of those. He would always console me when someone would approach me just to beat me up mentally, verbally, and physically. For no apparent reason.

"Yeah, right." Gally scoffed as he stormed off.

Alby, Frypan, Chuck and Minho helped me up from the ground, swatting away the dirt on my arms and back. They would do the same thing, comforting. But they wouldn't always notice how it was breaking me into pieces.

Why? Well because I was covered in a mask. Just pop a couple of some pills and I'm good to go. I'll be smiling all the time before you know it. Even though it was the effects of these antidepressants were the reason I feel happy all the time.

I couldn't live without it. Of course, my friends were oblivious about it. They don't know about it.

They don't have to know anything about it.

Those pills were the only ones that has been keeping me from those voices in my head that were saying that I should kill myself.

Although it was taking an effect on me, I didn't stop. I didn't care. I just keep on taking them. I just let the toxic chemicals run around my body. It was an addiction that I couldn't resist.

I was happy all the time. Everything was sunny and cheerful. All I see whenever I'm alone were sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. It makes me laugh like a maniac. I felt calm and alive at the same time.

Until the next morning, I wasn't able to wake up.

****

Newt's POV

The sun is up and it was time to wake up. I get up from my hammock and put on my hoodie like always.

I head to Y/N's hut to wake her up. It was like a routine for me, waking her up. She's always been a heavy sleeper. But she would wake up eventually.

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