The Perfect Storm 3

Chapter 244

Seeing Jace leave, hurt because deep down, I feel as though he's the only one to who I'm connected to right now. Miles is with someone else and Cody doesn't make me feel anything.

"I heard there was a lonely girl out here." I hear Miles's voice and I almost jump. I turn around to his smile and I'm tempted o smile back but I decided against it.

"And I heard someone named Code was looking for her, but that part doesn't matter," Miles says and I can't help but let out a laugh.

"Is h everything you expected?" Miles's hands are in the pocks of his tight jeans now as he approaches close, his grin more and more of an insult.

"No." My voice is low and I'm surprised I'm even being honest with him. The air is cold and I can see my white smoke when I breathe out.

"Is she?" I ask and Miles grins, even more, his hands out of his pockets now as he stands next to me, a little too close.

"It's fair that I bring someone too, isn't it?" His brows raise at me in a mocking way but h doesn't answer my question and I can't help t slight ping of annoyance that I answered his and then the small ping of jealousy that maybe there's a reason he didn't answer.

"Btu you don't like that, do you?" he asks softly and I scowl at him when our eyes meet. I'm angry at him, so, so angry.

"No, I don't, Miles," I answer harshly, ready to go inside but h grabs me by the arm and stops me.

"I don't like it either." He says, his dark eyes sparkling in the night before me.

"I saw the way you looked at her . . . and the way you fixed her hair, Miles you have no idea how much that breaks me," I tell him softly, on the verge of tears.

"God damnit." He angrily swipes his hand through his hair.

"Madison, I fucking love you. I love you with everything I have, why isn't that enough?! It's all I've ever given anyone, it's everything I fucking have." His words hit me softly and I want to almost collapse in them; believe them even but we don't have that but I can't fall for that trap again.

"I . . . I don't know why I'm doing this, I don't want anyone but you, and I know that but I guess . . . I guess a part of me just wants—" I stop and feel the way my voice quiets down before I continue again quietly. 

"To somehow get away from the reality that you'll never want me the way I want to be wanted," I say and the words hurt me as they come from my lips but I know they hurt him even more. 

I glance up at him but his eyes aren't on mine anymore, instead, they're facing the darkness in front of him, his jaw is flexed and I feel as though this time we wither make it to beak it, and right now, I don't know where we stand.

"I'm sorry I can't love you the way everyone else would be able to—" He says defeated.

"Even Jacob . . . but not you," I say and the hurt floods through me all over again as I realize that the only person in the world that I will ever love will never love me back like I love him.

"What did you fucking expect? That we'd have a normal fucking life, buying Ikea furniture and getting our fucking kids to sleep?!" Miles yells as if what I just said was ass pathetic as my belief in us.

"That's not possible with me." He says harshly and I grow small with his voice rising.

"Being with me is only going to make everything get darker, and darker and darker." His voice is raspy and serious as if it's a warning. 

I almost choked on the tears I'm trying to stop but I manage to take one long steady and quiet breath. 

I'm fully aware that life with him is only going to take me through difficult things not only with him but the people he knows, the troubles with his mother, his anger toward his father and his old friends like Hayden who want nothing but some kind of hurt for the people he loves. 

I don't know what to say to him and so instead, I don't say anything.

I've had too many confrontations outside of this bar and I want nothing more but to go home.

"I . . . I have to go."I say stupidly, but there are no other words I could have come up with. And just as I turn around, Cody steps out of the bar too, and his eyes meet mine with a smile. Oh god, Cody, how long have I been ou here?

"You're barefoot," Miles says quietly and Cody doesn't seem to hear anything as he's much further away than he looks to be.

"I—" I try coming up with something but I have no idea where my heels even are and it's too dark to see anything around me.

"Here, take mine." He says flicking off his shoes and placing them down right next to my feet.

"But you—" I stare at him.

"It's better than you not having shoes." He smiles and I nod.

As Cody approaches closer I start to turn away from Miles but he parts his lips and whispers, "I'm still waiting for the end of March." 

I turn to see his face, the words catching me off guard but all I see is the smile I will never get rid of and the way he's so confident with himself throughout anything.