The Perfect Storm 3

Chapter 252

Miles's black Lamborghini is stuffed with everything we could possibly need for moving in together even though I know that somehow we will have forgotten something and despite its simplicity, I can't help but find myself looking forward to these small and random moments with him.

The morning had started to slowly blend into the night sky and I find myself breathing in the fresh air.

We get into Miles's car and he starts the engine that with a quick and elegant turn of the wheel, gets us onto the main road.

"I'll drop you off at WSU? You can gather the rest of your stuff," he informs me and I nod, the idea feels odd and I have no clue what my life will be like now, what going to classes will feel like, or what waking up every morning to him will mean but I don't send to let my life stay in our chaos forever, I want to move somewhere with Miles, even though that's all I can get, I want to cover every surface and every inch of what he gives me and I want to absorb it with my love for him.

"Tell me about her . . . about Hayley." I surprise myself by daying, and ad soon as the sords come out I start to nervously fiddle with my fingers and the ring he gave me.

I didn't realize I had this on my mind but there are too many things we've never talked about that I need an answer to.

Miles's hands clench the steering wheel and I can see clearly jat this isn't a topic he wants to go through right now.

"She's . . ." He looks at me, eyes painful and not wanting to unleash the answer on me, but when he sees my eyes begging for an answer he bites his jaw and looks at the windshield again.

"She's . . . she's the first girl I slept with," he says and despite knowing I wasn't his first, it hurts, and it stings and it starts to hurt so much more than I realized anything could.

My heart sinks into the very very bottom of my stomach and the guilt of feeling this way gets to me harder than a large wave crashing over me and I feel overpowered with emotions I don't want.

"I . . . I feel sick," I tell him but he doesn't answer, and I'm not sure I even want an answer.

"Did you love her?" I ask, my stomach already twisting and turning too much to be able to handle an answer, but it somehow seems even worse to not ask.

He turns to me and I'm ready for the answer that will twist the knife that's already inside of me.

But instead, he does the unexpected, he shakes his head, his eyes only on mine.

"No, I didn't." He says and there's something about his words that let me know what he's saying is true.

"She was my boredom." He explains and I just watch him as he now turns to watch the road. I don't want this car ride to end, I want to know everything, the bad and the good, I want to know Miles; I want him.

And even though this topic is the last thing either one of us wants to discuss, I know we need all secrets to disappear more than we need anything.

"She is Sandra's daughter . . . I should have told you, but I just--" He runs his hand through his hair, "I didn't." He admits and I nod, thankful that he's telling me the truth even though there's nothing he can explain.

I'm surprised at his honesty and that she's someone that will be in my life as long as David and Sandra are together but I bite the inside of my chek, knowing that Mile's has too much darkness in him for me to ever be able to clean all of it out.

He looks down and then back at my eyes, seeing how much I need this, he turns back t the windshield and parts his lips, "She used to be Rebecca's friend, and when I . . . when I moved here, Jacob and I became friends and since Rebecca is practically his neighbor, I guess I just, I--" he licks his lips but I shake my head. I don't need him to finish. 

I press my hand on his and he looks at me, his eyes telling me they're nervous but after feeling my touch he slowly clams down.

"She was head over heels, but I just . . . I didn't want her, and I did some bad things, Madison, I used her whenever I wanted to, telling her I was only with her . . . but I had fucked the whole block, including Rebecca." He explains and my heart flutters, not in the same way it usually does but in a way that hurts, in a way that I didn't expect, in a way that his words are poison to my body.

"It wasn't just ninety-nine before me, was it?" I ask him softly, my eyes waiting calmly for an explanation while I'm dying inside.

His jaw clenches and by now, I know exactly what that means, he has something on his mind, something he's not proud of something he's angry at.

"No." His voice is barely audible although I heard it well; too well, so well that it echoes in my mind for a long minute.

"I did it for fun . . . for sport." I gulp down the words carefully, taking in what he's truly saying only to let my heart forget that it has healed.

I know I can leave him, I know I can say goodbye and I know that he'd let me, just like he has before, but I don't want to, I can't be without him, my life has and never will be the same after him.

"I'm sorry, Madison," he apologizes sincerely, "Not just for this . . . for everything," he breathes quietly.

"Can I go back to my dorm another time?" I ask, softly, the only thing I want right now s to be with him, I don't want to be apart, no right now.

Miles nods and then parts his lips to me, "I actually have someplace to take you."

THE NIGHT SKY STARES at us as the road ahead is covered in snow, I didn't know it could get this cold in March, but the blanketed trees in front of me have proven me wrong. 

Coming here for the first time, I never imagined that I'd ever get used to Washington, I always thought that Ohio would feel like home forever, but now, I think I've never felt more alive and more at home than I have in Washington. And especially after my mother's death and Jace's move to TXU, I know I have practically nothing back in Ohio anymore.

"I was going to keep this for the end of March, but since there's only one week left, I might as well do it now." He smiles and I nod excitedly.  

I watch as the stars are above us in the night sky, shining their coldness onto the ground.

To my surprise, it doesn't take too long to get to wherever we are, and as soon as the car comes to a halt, Miles steps out before I can gather enough understanding to figure out that we're already there. He opens the door for me and grabs my hand gently. 

I step onto the cold ground as he leads me toward a cabin I've never been to.

"I figured we could stay here for a few nights . . . you know before we start decorating the hell that is my house." He says and a giggle escapes my lips before jumping into his arms, "Our house." I correct him.