The Perfect Storm 3

Chapter 267

(Play, Mary, did you know by Pentatonix)

"Madison?" I hear Jace call and I place the letter back quickly into the envelope, I don't want Jace to know about this but when I attempt to tuck it back into the pillow, he notices, his footsteps already in the room with me.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," he says and I know he's explaining how fast he was coming here and then his eyes spot the envelope in my hands.

he sits beside me, letting out a breath as his eyes watch mine calmly, "is that hers?" he asks, his voice quiet and caring, careful of the feelings he might drag from inside of me but I'm not sure there are any, everything to do with my mother makes me feel numb somehow.

"mhm," is all I can say, and even that sounds numb, so disoriented, so quiet, and barely there.

his fingers slowly grip at the letter but I don't want him to read what I've felt all along, and why I now understand my mother's blessing of allowing Miles and me to get married, even though it will never happen. I know this will hurt Jace more than I already have and I don't want to see him go through it but when my fingers pull the letter toward me, he manages to somehow get ahold of it.

"I don't think you should read it," I admit, my voice slow and quiet and for a minute I wonder if he even heard me but when his eyes touch mine, I realize he has.

His eyes blend with mine for what feels like a long minute, but it's too quick and when his eyes betray my words and look at the letter, his eyes scan for something he knows I don't want him to see and it takes him less than half a second to find it, and when he does, the letter drops out of his hands and he stands up, not minding that the letter has fallen on the floor.

"You believe that . . . don't you?" his voice stammers slightly but his words are still able to be as serious as his eyes are.

"I--" His eyes stip my answering, "And so did she . . . Angela believed that too," he says, gulping down something hard in his throat as if he's realizing everything, everything that seemed right is now wrong.

"I didn't believe it until I met him," I admit, no matter how much I've battled this thought in my head, my mother, as always, has helped me realize what I've known this whole time, it has always been Miles and no stupid dates with Cody or thoughts about the easiness Jace would bring into my life will ever replace the truth; they'll never make me feel anything but Miles.

"Maybe I was the one delusional then, not him . . . that he could have you," he says, his words biting at me, and then as if the wind has blown through the building, Jace is gone.

WHEN I'VE MANAGED to tuck the letter away to where it belongs, to where it will always belong, I manage to somehow move from the bed and into the empty space that before I knew as my room, watching the tall grass outside of my window always felt so right, it always made peace wash through me, and now all I can think about are all of the horrible things I've seen in this house, one of them being the hurt face Jace made when he saw his name in the letter.

I step into the kitchen and then into the front area, where, now, there aren't any shoes besides, everything is empty, the thin discolored light green carpet that once stood in front of the door usually filled with shoes, is empty, everything here is, it's not just a feeling anymore. All of my mother's stuff has been tucked away, never to be opened again.

I make my way into the light breeze, and stare at Jace's home as I walk toward it closer, something I've always done, something I've missed doing, and although I know he doesn't want to see me right now, I want to see him, I never want to lose contact with him, not over this; not over anything and I've never realized it this way.

I knock on the door that has been familiar to me my whole life and thankfully I'm greeted with a smile even though it isn't from Jace, "Nancy," I smile back.

She leans in with a smile and I know she's about to say something to me, "I know I usually don't bud in, but whatever is going on between you two, I want you to know that he cares, and he'll always care about you, Madison." her sweet tone embraces me and I feel loved in a way my mother loved me; something I haven't felt in too long and something I'll make sure to always give the child growing inside me.

I give her a smile that reaches my eyes and I try not to tear up as I nod at the words she just spoke, she embraces me into a hug before allowing me to come inside.

I feel something in my throat; something I haven't felt before and when I realize what is happening, I'm running rudely away from Nancy and into the bathroom, where I lean my head above the toilet as I sit down on the cold floor. I don't know if I locked the door or not, but I can't seem to think of anything else right now, somehow this feeling has absolutely absorbed me and I feel as though my brain can only focus on the difficulty it is to get out whatever is in my throat.

My mother always told me stories of her being pregnant with me and I never understood exactly what kind of pain and difficulty she was talking about until now, I not only feel physically sick but also pain seems to be flowing all over me.

I press the button to flush down my sickness and quickly run toward the sink, washing my hand thoroughly with soap and grabbing a cloth to wash my mouth.

I remember my mother telling me she felt weak and sick throughout her pregnancy and I always hoped that it wouldn't happen to me, even though all I could imagine at the time was being pregnant with one of the dolls I owned.

I quickly open the bathroom door to Nancy standing there, her eyes in slight shock, she covers her lips and then parts them, "Are you . . . okay?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say, somehow almost wanting to cry.

"You're pregnant," her voice is low and the words don't sound like a question.

I nod, not knowing how else to respond and I'm surprised when she wraps her arms around me in a hug, I never knew Jace's parents would be so accepting of something like this; something outside of a marriage and not with their son.

"You're not disappointed?" I ask and she shakes her head, her large eyes smiling.

"You know . . . your mother was starting to let that boy grow on her and I knew that she would always see him as the better Peter even though he seemed ruder at times, he was always so polite to Angela and she always admired that," Nancy nods and I offer her a small smile even though I know the small tears forming in my eyes won't able to take the stretched smile that forces them out.

"I never knew that," I tell her, my voice is quiet and as if it maybe wasn't even meant for Nancy to hear.