It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

17.

Meredith prepared for bed, changing into her pajamas quickly while she thought of the evening that was now behind her. She sighed sadly knowing that it will all be over in the morning, when she gets into that car and waves goodbye to the people who welcomed her into her family this Christmas. She glanced to the window and moved towards it, watching the Christmas decorations in the backyard glisten and reflect on the fresh and pure white snow. She closed her eyes tightly, trying desperately to burn the memory into her mind as she slowly opened them again.

A salty tear made its long journey from the corner of her eye down her cheek, cascading over her soft skin as it made a resting place at the corner of her chin, where it dangled for just a moment before another tear made the same path, pushing the first over the edge, followed by a third and fourth.

🎄🎄🎄

Derek rummaged through his suitcase, looking to find something comfortable to slip into before he headed downstairs again. He listened to his family ascending the stairs, saying their goodnights and shuffling the children into their rooms. He sighed, feeling the empty, alone feeling that he had been pushing away since Christmas Eve, poking through the surface and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but have the thought of his father running through his mind.

He thought of his mother, the strong matriarch of this large extended family, and how tomorrow will be the end of Christmas again, and she will once again be alone in the large house that she had made a family for, waiting diligently for next Christmas, or the next holiday when everyone would be together again. She claimed that she wasn't lonely, but he could see in her eyes the begging woman who prayed for her son to come to her now and then, to talk to her, and call her and let her know that everything was alright with him. She needed to know if he was happy, so that she knew whether or not she could be happy. It was just the way things worked, and as sad and depressing as it made him, he knew that he needed to be better at it. He needed to let her know that he cared.

He thought of all of the happy moments and all of the happy Christmases he has had. He thought of the passing of his father, and how before Christmas had begun... before he had gotten there, he had been so scared that things weren't going to be the same. He smiled just slightly, remembering the sparkle in his mother's eye, the smile on her face, the giggle in everyone's voices and the happiness that surrounded their family for the past two nights.

He thought of Meredith.

He smiled.

"I guess I was right..." He smiled softly as he carefully changed into a t-shirt and jogging pants. "Christmas wasn't the same..." He grinned as he reached for the doorknob.

He opened the door to find Meredith standing at his door with tears rolling down her cheeks, her hand raised in an attempt to knock. "It was better." He smiled as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room, closing the door behind them.

🎄🎄🎄

As soon as Meredith stepped into the bedroom, she walked right over to the bed. Derek watched as she lay down on the mattress, pulling the blankets over herself, she lay in a heap on the bed.

"Meredith?" He whispered. He listened and could hear her soft whimpers from beneath the covers. "Meredith..." He said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He watched as his covers moved slightly as she cried.

"I don't want to cry..." She whimpered from under the covers as she continued to sob.

"You don't want to cry? Why don't you want to cry? Why are you crying?"

"I don't want to go... I don't want to go to Boston... take me back to school... I can stay in my dorm... please..."

"Meredith... how will you get anywhere at school... you don't have your car..."