Worth falling for

Fixing what's broken

Emily:
I went home and brushed my hands over my eyes to stop the tears from flowing down. All that was running through my head were the words, "I love Alison."

Why didn't Alison just tell me she was jealous of me as kids, we would've laughed about it and moved on. It sucked hearing it from someone who isn't as connected as Alison and I. She really hurt me this time.

"Mom, I'm going to need some time. Don't worry about dinner, I'm not hungry." I said before I went straight to my room, showered, collapsed on my bed and stayed there for the whole night.

I didn't sleep at all.
-------at lunch-------
"Hey Em!" Hanna slung her arm around me cheerfully, she hadn't looked at my face yet.

"Hey." I replied dully since the only thing, other than my family, that I loved had left.

"What's wrong?" Hanna pulled me by my shoulders and scanned my face.

"Alison and I broke up." It was a simple statement, but it was almost like saying it made it even more real.

I explained the whole thing to Hanna, who listened to the whole thing, nodding occasionally.

"I mean this with as much love as possible, but you're freaking stupid." Hanna told me bluntly.

"Wow, um okay." I rolled my eyes and buried my head in my hands.

"You clearly love her, and how can you not see that YOU'RE her childhood sweetheart, not Paige. That's why she hates Paige because clearly Paige is obsessed with you too."

When Hanna said that, it all became clear. All the touches that Paige has given me, at the party how she encouraged me to drink, and how she just happened to tell me when Alison wasn't there.

"But still, why wouldn't she just tell me that?" I peered through my fingers and Hanna just smiled.

"You're so blind. It's because you're the only thing in her life that she truly cares about, how awkward would it be to say "oh hey, by the way, you saved my life when we were little and I've loved you ever since". I mean, come on."

"Man, I really screwed this up, didn't I?" I scrunched my brows together.

"Alison's shell was already hard to crack, maybe you did come at it a little harshly, but it doesn't hurt to try to talk to her." Hanna suggested and I felt a little flutter of hope inside.

I really hoped she would give me another chance.
-----
I waited outside of school for the longest time, just hoping to catch Alison.

I never saw her.

I needed to get to practice anyways, so I headed to the locker rooms filled with the feeling of emptiness.

"Hey Em, I heard about you and Alison. I'm so sorry." Paige bounded up to me.

"You don't look like it." I sassed back, I wasn't playing along today.

Her eyes narrowed, "well I am. I really care about you-your feelings I mean."

"I know that you lied about it all, so it's actually all thanks to you that I'm not happy." I informed her. Her eyes were filled with shock and then something a little more scary.

"Well it doesn't matter now. Your not with Alison so that means that I win." Paige smirked, her true colors coming out.

"So you'd rather me be sad than with Alison?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Yep." She replied without hesitation.

"Then you don't really care about me." I said and let the words hang there. She looked convicted, but I didn't really care. Now I knew for sure that Alison had been telling the truth and that I was a horrible person for jumping to conclusions.

I dove into the water, loving the feeling of freedom swim gave me. It helped relax me and I gathered everything that I was going to say and make up to Alison.

I just hoped she would give me a chance. Not talking to her was slowly killing me.

I jumped out of the pool after my cool down and grabbed my stuff. Paige started walking over to me, but I wasn't giving her another second of my time.

I drove close to reckless to get to Alison's house. I knocked and was greeted by mrs. DiLaurentis.

"Hi." I smiled perkily, "is Alison home?"

"Yes, she's in her room. Want me to get her?"

"No!" I said quickly, "it's a surprise." I shrugged and she let me in. I clenched my fists in order to keep from shaking. I knew I'd be getting chewed out, but I also knew I deserved it.

I let myself into her room because I knew she wouldn't even let me in if she knew who it was.

"Go away mom, today was not a good day and I don't want to talk about it." She murmured from underneath a bunch of pillows.

I shut the door behind me and walked quietly to her bed. I removed her pillows and I was about to say a million things, but when I saw her tear-stained face, I knew I could only do one thing.
--------
Alison:
She kissed me. I knew who it was from the taste of her strawberry lips and her brown sugar smell. I was extremely pissed at her, but for some reason when she kissed me, everything disappeared. I forgot where I was, I might have even forgot my name. I found myself kissing her back. When she pulled away, I was hardly breathing.

"I'm still extremely mad at you." I managed to say.

She nodded as if she already expected me to say that, "I know, and I also know that this isn't going to fix anything. I just-I miss you so much. I should've believed you, I was just so caught up in everything. But all I know now is that I love you and I never want to lose you again. Especially over something stupid like you trying to kill me." She joked at the end. I pushed her playfully.

"So can we kill Paige now?"

"Not exactly, we'll definitely get out revenge. But first you need to tell me what exactly happened when we were younger." She held my hand and I felt the familiar jolt in my skin that I had missed.

I took a deep breathe and prepared to let it all out, "so one day, our families were at the lake and we were all having a picnic. It was a gorgeous day and everyone was out there and apparently, that included Paige. Anyways, I decided to go swimming and everyone else was busy eating and talking so I just hopped in. Everything was going fine until my leg got caught in a net or something. I thought I was going to die until I felt something pulling at me. I struggled against them, thinking it was an alligator but they held tight and eventually helped me out of the water. It was you. You saved my life. I never saw you again until high school, I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to seem vulnerable or needy."

Emily listened the whole time, "wait, so you weren't trying to drown me, your survival instincts just kicked in?"

I shrugged, "I guess."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should've just talked to you about it-" Emily looked down at her lap and fiddled with her thumbs.

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have held my pride and just told you." I admitted.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you, too." I kissed her hard and her fingers found my hair. We put all of our emotions into the kiss and when we had pulled away, we were both sobbing.