(COMPLETED)He Was, She Was [Austin Moon/Ross Lynch Remake]

Chapter Sixty Three: Cactus

"Please tell me you guys did not just have sex,"

Austin folded his lips in and forced her a sarcastic yet light smile. "Good morning to you as well, Adrianna."

"Same to you, Monica." Then Nicole tipped her head like she had a cowboy hat on and smiled at him tauntingly. He only pulled a face and rolled his eyes, until Kathryn came up behind him and hugged him at his waist, and he smiled as she left a small kiss on the back of his neck.

"Don't destroy your morning," Kathryn mumbled. "You've got a big day ahead."

Austin smiled at her. "You know I could cancel,"

"You know you could just go," Kathryn smiled playfully.

He raised his eyebrows at her, grinning. "You know you could just come with me."

"You know you could just-"

"YO, MAH FUCKING NIGGAHS." Lance said, slamming his palms on the table. His hair was sticking out in places and he was in his boxers and a tanktop. His eyes were still droopy and he was obviously still a bit sleepy. "You know what the both of you could do?" He asked, a sarcastic smile on. "Make us breakfast, mating humans."

Kathryn scrunched her nose. "Mating?"

Austin scrunched up his nose as well. "Humans?" Kathryn immediately snapped her neck towards Austin, and all he did was look at her as well and smiled. "Fine. I'll fix up breakfast."

"I should."

"I should."

"I should."

"No, I should."

"Baby, I believe the human who is qualified enough to handle fire and food between of us is me, which I strongly believe in."

Austin cocked an eyebrow at her. "You do realize that the person who burned their finger on the stove between the two of us is most definitely not me, right?"

Kathryn pouted, looking down and holding up her index finger wrapped in a bandage, which was still red and stinging a little. "That hurt me in so many ways that is not to be extremely hilarious for you,"

"It's not," he grinned down at her.

"Then stop grinning!" she said, still pouting.

Austin laughed. "I'm not!" he said, then she pouted even more. He found that rather adorable, so instead, he put his hand behind her head and pulled her to kiss her forehead, still smiling. "I'm sorry." then he reached down to take her burned and bandaged finger and kissed it. "But there is no way I am going to let you work a stove again. So sit down."

"But-"

"No,"

"But you're a terrible cook-"

"NO I AM NOT."

"You suck at cooking,"

"Apparently you do as well, burning your flesh and all."

"It wasn't a serious third degree burn anyway!"

"But you still burned yourself."

"We are never getting out of here." Nicole groaned out loud, then buried her face in Lance's shirt, and continued whining and groaning.

"It was an accident," Kathryn started to whine, groaning and ignoring Nicole's own whining and groaning.

"I don't care, sit the fuck down woman."

Kathryn cocked an eyebrow at him. "Did you seriously just fucking cuss at me?"

"No no no no no no," he said repeatedly and rapidly and more gently. "Baby I'm so sorry-"

"You cussed at me!"

"Sit down!" He said, scooping her up by her feet and throwing her over his shoulders, earning a high pitched shriek. "Put me down I can see your spongebob underpants still!"

"Wait, you're still wearing that shit?" Lance asked, a bit groggy. Austin turned to him, eyebrows raised. "That is completely false. I own more than one pair of spongebob underwear. The one I am wearing right now is completely different. Get your shit together, Lance."

He only rolled his eyes and continued to listen to his girlfriend's continuous groaning and whining, and so did Austin, who had his own whining girlfriend on his shoulder.

"Uh, excuse me?" They all got silenced and turned to Brad, who was busy scratching the back of his head while stretching and yawning. After doing so, he had his eyes wide open. "If this is what having a girlfriend looks like, I am seriously rethinking my entire lovelife."

Kathryn's neck snapped towards him. "Don't make me break your neck, Simpson."

"You already knocked me out, what's the point." Brad shrugged his shoulders, walking into the kitchen, still a bit groggy. "But Ally is different, though. I don't see a reason why I should leave her."

"You better hold on to your fucking words or so help me God I will shove a cactus deep and far up in your ass."

"Damn," Brad said, a bit terrified. He looked at Austin. "Control your shit, Austin."

"That shit you're talking about is my shit." Austin said, joking and grinning. "She's my shit."

"And you are my shit as well, Austin Moon." She managed to grin up at him, though she was still hung on his shoulders. "But seriously put me down, I can feel a taco coming up my throat and it's not pretty."

Austin gently set Kathryn down on one of the foot stools, still laughing. She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you so happy about?" Austin only shook his head, kissing her forehead. "You are seriously the best thing that has ever been mine."

Kathryn only smiled up at him, and knowing how close he was and that he had the same smile that always melted her heart, she felt her cheeks blushing. "Aw!" Austin said, and pinched her cheeks. "You're blushing!"

"Gaaah." Kathryn groaned, slapping his hand away. "No pinching."

"Why not?" He asked. "Your cheeks! So fluffy!" Austin said like a small child. Kathryn only grinned at him. "So adorable." he smiled.

"Stop with the poking and the pinching!" Kathryn laughed, moving her face away from his hands. "I know my face is fat, you don't have to rub it in, dude."

"But in a good way," Austin said. "Only your cheeks are fat, the rest of you is like, wow."

Nicole made a gagging noise. They all turned to her, to see her holding in her laughs. "That's because you've alreadyseen the rest of her body."

"EW!" Brad started to say like a small child. "Dirty adult puns! Ewwwwyyyy!"

"Y'know there's a cactus just right outside the window." Kathryn said. "Wanna try that out? It's never to early to have a cactus way far up your ass."

"I'm sorry, but last time I checked, Austin poured his heart out to you, you broke it with your ratchet silence, you both parted ways, him sulking silently, but you sulking out real loudly. Like sulking, depressed sulking." Brad clarified. Kathryn shot him a sharp death look, the one with the intent to kill.

"Sulking?" Austin asked, confused, genuinely confused. "Depressed sulking? What are we talking about here?"

"I'M STARVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING," Nicole started to groan again, even louder, making everyone turn to her and cringe. "ONE OF YOU START COOKING I NEED TO FEED"

Austin raised a finger. "But who-"

"STARVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING" Nicole groaned, and he put his hands up in defense, hurrying to the stove, dragging Lance along, muttering "You have to feed your human as well,"

Seeing how distracted Austin already was, Kathryn turned to Nicole, and mouthed a "God, thank you." and she only nodded, smiling lightly and winking. Kathryn turned to Brad, giving him the same death stare and flipping him the birds.