Pretend It's Okay (A Jarry Fan Fiction)

Chapter 4

Jade POV

I bit my bottom lip not knowing what to say.

"I-I don't know when," I stammer.

"Some things are better left unsaid, Niall." I added, looking away. 

He squeezed my hand and said, "Jade, you're my friend. I can't let you destroying yourself. I'm not rushing you in this but just find the perfect time, okay? The decision is right up to you, Jade." I nodded at him. 

"Thanks for today, Niall." I hugged him and he hugged me back.

"Call me anytime when you need help, okay?" he said.

"Okay." I pulled out from the hug and pulled the passenger's seat and got out from the car. As I open the front door, mom was sitting on the couch watching movies. 

"Hey, sweetie." she said, turning to me.

"Hi, mom." I said.

"How's your walk with Harry?", didn't I told her earlier that I'm with Niall?

"I-I'm not with Harry." I said.

"Oh, who's with you, then?" Seriously?

"I'm with Niall." I said.

"Oh, that boy with those blue eyes? He's cute." mom said, flashing a smile.

"Yea, he is." I chuckled. Speaking of Niall, I remember what we talked earlier about convincing mom to let me go to London.

"Mom?" I said.

"Hmm?" she said, not turning to me. great.

"I-I'm planning to go to London. Well, just for months or maybe a year." I said, she tensed and turned off the television. Uh-oh.

"What did you say?" she said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I'm planning to go to London, mom."  I said. 

"Why? Aren't you happy here in America?" she said.

"No, it's not like that. I just want to have a vacation there." I said. 

Please, mom. Let me get out from here. From this mess. My subconscious said.

Mom was silent. Oops.

"Jade, I've been observing you from the night that you've been crying when you got home," Not again. "And you still haven't told me about what happened that night.." she added.

"Mom, I don't want to talk about that right now." I said.

"Jade, I'm your mom. You should trust me, okay?" Mom's right. I should trust her. Oh god, what's happening to me? Is Harry's impact really that big to me?

"I'm falling for Harry for 5 years!" I snapped. I'm just so frustrated right now.

"That night I called him to meet me at the park because I'm planning to tell him my feelings for him. He told me he also have something to say so I assumed it will be a good one, but I was wrong. He told me that he and Selena are together and-- and--" I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of repeating the story all over again because it always appear in my head. Tears are already rolling in my cheeks. Seriously? I should be strong. I shouldn't be crying. Damn it.

"You didn't tell him because you think it's too late?" mom finished for me. I nodded, looking away. I didn't expect this day will turn out to be like this after I had a free time with Niall.

I was tensed when mom hugged me and it makes me worse. I burst into tears, hugging my mom tight.

"Shhhh, I understand." she said, soothing her hands on my back.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, mom. I shouldn't do that. I'm so sorry." I said, still sobbing on her chest. I was shocked when I hear my mom sob..

"I still remember when your dad died," she said. "but it was worse than what you are feeling right now. At least, Harry is here. Your dad is up there." she sighed. "I know there's nothing I have to worry about because he's already in good hands but I still miss him... so much. Your dad is a good man, Jade. He will do everything for us to be happy. He was staying strong even though he was diagnosed of lung cancer. But, I guess, heaven needs an angel." she added.

*Flashback* 

I still remember when I was 10, I was in the hospital, hugging my dad.

"I'll always love you, Jade. You're always be my little girl." he said.

"I love you, too, dad. I'll still see you, right? You'll still bake cookies for me, right?" I said, looking at him.

"Of course. I'll bake you the most delicious cookies you'll ever taste.." he said, hugging me tight. Until a beeping sound from a monitor came... then followed by another... and another... and dad's hand was slowly slipping away from the hug...

*Flashback ended*

"I'm still here, mom. Don't be sad. You don't want dad to be sad, right?" I said. She nodded and smiled at me.

"It doesn't mean that Harry and Selena are together, doesn't mean you don't have the right to say you're feelings to Harry."

She's right. I do have the right to say my feelings but it's not that easy after hearing those words from Harry. I'm still not ready to face him. I'm not going to face him just because I heard those words from him but because he hid it from me for 3 WEEKS. I know he's finding the right time to say it, but does he even try? I hope he does, but 3 weeks is too long for me. He's my best friend. We don't hide secrets that long. I know I've said to him that I don't like Selena because she's a bitch. She slept with boys every night, play with their heart and take them for granted. Harry doesn't deserve someone like her. Harry is too good for her. I don't want Harry to be hurt just because of her. I don't want him to rebel and become like his father who slept with girls every night and only goes home when he needed money. Harry has a terrible past and I don't want the history to come back. He had done worse before and I just don't want to remember that. But he changed. He become more open to his problems to me and I don't want him to change just because Selena hurt him. Harry has a fragile heart. I don't want his heart to become a rock.

But for me, I think it's time to move on. It's time for me to leave those feelings behind. I'm not a child anymore who weeps because I lost a precious candy. I'm already 21 years old and I can handle this. 

BUT ITS NOT THAT EASY TO UNLOVE SOMEONE LIKE HARRY.

He's one of a kind. I'm just waiting for the pain to fade and maybe, just maybe, that's the perfect time  to face him. Just not for now.

--END OF CHAPTER 4--

Short update. Sorry. What do you think about the chapter? Comment your opinions! Don't forget to vote if you like the chapter! :)

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