Just Friends || h.s.

36

***Song: Wrong by Zayn and Kehlani

• • •
Madison

"I'm not sure we were ever friends to begin with."

What the hell does that even mean?

"You didn't think we were friends?" I asked cluelessly.

Harry sighs with a shake of his head, hopping off of the hood of the car. "Never mind. Let's go back in the car before we get sick."

"No, wait. Tell me what you meant." I say as I follow his lead, a little persistent now because I wanted to know. He can't just say that and act like he didn't.

"It's not that important." He mumbled as we both got into the car, turning the music down.

"It is to me." My voice was stern, and that made Harry know how seriously I was about this. "Is seeing you and talking to you and being able to laugh with you not a friendship? Because if we weren't friends for the past two months that you've been here then I don't know what we are."

"It may have seemed like that to you, but it was never like that for me." He answered quietly, stumping me slightly. He didn't see us as friends? I am lost.

"Do I not make you feel like you are my friend? If I come off like that, I'm sorry Harry. I really didn't-"

"No! You are an amazing friend to me Maddie. What I'm saying is I just could never wrap my head around the fact that we are friends." He cuts me off softly, looking very conflicted.

"I'm sorry, but you are making no sense right now." I sigh, feeling a migraine grow as I try to process what was going on.

"Maddie, if I tell you what I mean, then I know for a fact we will not be friends anymore. You really want to risk that?" He asked in defeat, looking over at me with tired eyes.

Is it really that bad he won't tell me? Or am I just stupid for not being able to figure it out?

I wanted us to be friends if it couldn't be anything more, but I desperately wanted to know.

"We literally made out just a few days ago so yeah, I'm willing to take that risk." I stated, completely shutting the music off and turning my body at an angle so I was sort of facing him.

He stared at me like I was crazy, his hands tightening their grip on the steering wheel. "Just don't hate me or look at me differently after this please." He mumbled, letting go of the wheel and placing his hands on his lap while he sat at an angle as well so he was facing me, his eyes boring into mine.

"I'd never look at you differently for telling me what's on your mind." I reassure worriedly, letting him know I am listening.

Not looking away from me, he seemed like he would crumble in seconds before speaking. "I never thought you would be my friend after I saw you again. While I am glad we built this friendship, I just can't see you as a friend." He took a shaky breath, finally breaking our gaze on each other by looking out the front window ahead of us. "I can't see you as a friend because...whenever I look at you, all I see is the woman I fell in love with."

Before I can respond, he kept going.

"And I think to myself, "why did I let her get away? What did I do to even deserve to be in her presence again?" The moment I admit to myself that we are friends is the moment I admit to myself that I lost you for good..." He sniffed quietly and my heart clenched at the sound as I just stared at his side profile, watching him avoid my gaze. "...and I am not ready to let you go."