Distance part 1

2.7K 56 17
                                    

*listen to the song it adds more affect :)

[ Matt's P.O.V. ]

I ran my hand through my hair like a rake. It went every direction giving it a tousled look, but I could care less. The black velvet curtains were shut tightly only letting slim rays of light escape. I sucked in a deep breath snatching my phone from the night stand besides my bed. My fingers scanned over my contact list stopping at the name I've called so many times. It was Amber my girl friend and I loved her so dearly.

The phone rang and rang until it came to the voicemail. Her sweet voice spoke over the phone making my ears perk just to the sound of it. I grew agitated and slammed the phone back down on the night stand.

Missed calls and ignore texts became a regular thing. Amber was constantly on my mind. I can count the restless nights on both hands where I just thought about her. It happens every time I think of Virginia. I sighed hearing my phone ring. It's probably just one of my friends telling me to get over myself. I weakly grabbed my phone looking at the caller ID.

Babe 😚😜💗

Immediently I hit the answer button taking the phone up to my ear. "Hello?", I spoke making my voice crack. I mentally slapped myself.

"Matthew I don't think I can do this anymore", she tiredly spoke over the phone. I can almost imagine her drooping eyes.

"Yeah but what about our last fight?", I knotted my eyebrows together angrily. I just told her that I loved her and we can make this work.

"But-".

"Yeah I know it happened last night? You can put that in the past right?", I babbled on not giving her the chance to say the words I never dreamt of her saying.

"Matt I can't", she refused with sternness in her voice. She was trying so hard to go against my will. Against our dreams.

"I'm just trying to make something of myself Amber? Don't you understand?", I pleaded pacing back and forth in my room.

"I do understand Matthew, but you can't keep me waiting back here in Virginia", she weakly whispered with an audible tone.

"Can't you just trust me? It's not like I'm cheating on you!", I shouted growing impatient. "You are the only girl I'd ever had sex with", I whispered the last part quickly.

"You don't get it Matt?! You think just us skyping or calling is the same. It isn't! You can't hug or kiss me", she cried over the phone.

"I've been thinking about us you know? We're constantly bickering back and forth! Maybe it is better if we end this", I shouted punching the wall.

"I agree!", she shouted back sniffing.

"So what do we do now?", I growled clenching my jaw. I was extremely pissed with everything and everyone at the moment. Where did I go wrong?

"I guess this is it Matthew. You grow with your career and forget about Amber from Virginia", she honestly spoke with more confidence in her voice.

"Everything we built, we broke it. It's all shattered and broken, just a memory", I stammered not fully believing that I was staying my thoughts out loud. "I can't get you out of my head, it's all falling down. Time that we end it like you said."

"I love you never forget that. I'm always here if you need me", her voice croaked. I knew she was crying and falling apart at the moment, but I wasn't doing anything. For the past 4 months I tore at her waiting for her to fall and now any second until she crashed down. It all happened in an instant.

"I thought you were the one, but I guess things changed", I spoke giving it one last tug. And that sent her overboard crying loudly over the phone. She fell and I couldn't pick up the broken pieces.

"It's the fame! It changed you!", she screamed balling over the phone. I rolled my eyes pulling at my hair again.

"No it's nothing with the fame! Amber I swear it's all the same", I fought back throwing my hands violently in the air.

I was still the same Matthew. I never changed, I matured. Or I wouldn't be able to go forth with my career. Their was no other choice, but for me to grow up. Why can't Amber see that?

Silence rang in my ears causing me to feel nauseous. "The difference is in you.. I feel it when we're kissing. One day your there feeling everything with me. And the next day your missing like almost trance like."

She sighs letting off a deep murmur from her throat. I sat back down on my bed bouncing my foot up and down. Waiting for a response... Anything.

"Can we be consistent?", I paused to see if she'd answer. "Amber are you even listening?!", I snapped.

"Yes I'm here!", she screeched. "What do you want me to say huh Matthew?!"

"You have me feeling so distant", I added feeling like shit. My head pounded making black specks to appear in my vision. I rubbed my temples wishing I didn't screw up. This is something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life.

"It's done", her voice cracked for the hundredth time. It was so weak and scared. I was such a horrible boy friend. Why couldn't I just admit that out loud.

"I'll be gone in an instant. Just let me hear you say I love you one last time", a tear shed from my eye.

"I love you Matthew. Good luck in LA". And with that she hung up the phone causing it to go dead.

I laid on my back as tears poured down my face like a running faucet. I tried to wipe them away, but they kept getting replaced by new ones. I loved her so much. She was my life. My everything. And now she was gone.

----
So end of part one! :) I loved how this is turning out so far. I felt this was the perfect song to write an imagine.

@AmberRosado0 this was the first part I said, so stay tuned for part two.

Love y'all

Matthew Espinosa ImaginesWhere stories live. Discover now