Ghosts ✔️

Chapter 5

"Malfoy,

It's not a journey that you have to make alone. I wouldn't call us friends at the moment, but I think it's a very real possibility if you're willing to work towards making amends. I assume you are since you wrote me, but I leave that up to you. I'll support you in any way I can.

I sincerely hope you do take me up on my offer. I must confess, I don't speak to anyone much anymore, so this was a very pleasant surprise. Especially because those who know don't take to "my condition" very well. I hear from Ron and Hermione on occasion, but as you've noticed, I'm not staying with the Weasleys. I'm giving them space, especially with Fred being in Saint Mungo's. I'm really hoping he pulls through.

The floo powder idea is brilliant. Maybe one day I'll be up for an actual firecall. We'll see how time treats us. It's strange isn't it, actually having time? I've always wanted time for myself, and now that I have it, I'm not quite sure what to do with it.

If you need to reach me quickly, "Harry's room, Grimmauld Place" should work. I've never actually had mail delivered that way, so try it with your next letter and we'll see if it works. Please, write me any time. I mean that.

I know how survivor's guilt can be. It haunts me in every aspect of my life. Being awake, sleeping. It's all the same. I even feel guilty laughing and carrying on with my life.

Sorry, this took a deeper turn than I expected. I just feel so alone with my thoughts a lot of the time, that it helps to write them down. Maybe I'll start journaling. It's just nice knowing someone is reading what I have to say I suppose.

Ron and Hermione will be visiting later today, so respond whenever you like. I'll send this back with your owl, and then if you end up sending something with him I'll just try sending my reply through the floo. Hopefully it goes well.

Take care,

Harry Potter"

Harry never thought he would be so candid with anyone, let alone Draco Malfoy. As he watched Draco's owl fly away, it carried away a little bit of the dark cloud surrounding him. The air felt a tad lighter. It was enough to encourage Harry to shave and shower.

When he came back downstairs almost an hour later, Ron and Hermione were sitting at his kitchen table.

"Hello Harry!", Hermione greeted him happily.

"Hi guys", Harry replied quietly.

"Still not talking?", Ron asked.

When Harry shook his head, Ron couldn't stop his face contorting into a frown, judgement flashing across it.

"Ronald please don't be insensitive. We all deal with trauma differently and we need to respect each other's choices. Harry didn't judge you when you started pummeling everything in sight and broke both hands.

All we have is each other. We are a family. Now more than ever we need to be by each other's sides. It's just been us three primarily since year 1. Throughout it all, we've only had each other.

There has never been an adult to help us. Now that we've won they're all trying to come in and take credit for what we've all done. The Order was helpful, but it's all fallen onto Harry.

As his friends, we volunteered to help. That was our decision, which I don't regret Harry. Throughout all of the pain and loss, we did a wonderful thing.

You need to understand Ron, that Harry has been the poster child for the war since his parents were murdered by Voldemort. He went from being praised to being hated and not trusted to being everyone's savior.

Nothing that happened was your fault Harry. But I know that you still feel guilty for all of it. That's a perfectly normal reaction with how much weight has been placed onto your shoulders.

Ron and I are both here for you through everything Harry. Take your time and heal however you need to."

Harry was crying and Hermione was fighting back tears herself. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"I love you", he whispered, quiet enough that Ron wouldn't hear it.

"I love you too."

Ron cleared his throat lightly and Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry mate. It's just a lot going on with everything, and I don't quite know how to deal with... all this", Ron said, gesturing around Harry's house.

Harry felt as if Ron was being insensitive and unfair towards him. It was like year 4 all over again, and he didn't like it one bit. Hermione, sensing Harry's discomfort, quickly changed the subject. They stayed for only an hour.

Ron had Harry on edge the whole time, continuously prodding him to talk, just more subtly than before. Hermione could tell that Harry was on the verge of losing it, so she suddenly "remembered" something vital for her upcoming trip to Australia that needed to be picked up at this moment in time.

She told Ron she had to use the bathroom before they left and that she would meet him outside. With a nod to Harry, he left.

"I'm sorry he's so insensitive Harry. He has a lot going on but that's no excuse. I'll come for a visit by myself before I leave okay?"

Harry nodded, and Hermione hugged him tightly, and with a kiss on his cheek she was gone. Feeling the tears begin to run down his face Harry went up to his room, changed into pajamas, drew the blinds, and cried himself to sleep.