#45 Nightmares and daydreams

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Akshara

Akshara walks the now familiar Dhandera streets, feeling the fresh morning breeze against her face. Unlike the other times when she felt invigorated by the cold caresses, her heart feels numb now. She's just checked with the officials working at the local bus station. She's arrived a little late. The next bus to Delhi will be available around the evening. Who knew this is how her departure is destined to be? Abrupt and with bitter memories swirling in her head.

Shiva hurt her a lot. They got into a spat the other night and once morning came, she couldn't be at the lodgings anymore.

It came as a shocker when he said he didn't want to be her friend! So, was he marrying Samridhi? He never implied he loved the girl. He always mentioned her as a friend. So, maybe not. Maybe he just wants to be alone. It's why he's severing ties, so nothing comes in the way of his duties.

That's a very lonely way to live — soldier, or not. Akshara Nair would hate it if her best friend were to submit to that kind of fate, but what can she say when he's content with it? Is she, their friendship, that insignificant to him? That he could throw it away in a second?

The answer is no.

Akshara bites her lip, shaking her head as she trudges along the nearly deserted roads that have become oh-so-familiar by now

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Akshara bites her lip, shaking her head as she trudges along the nearly deserted roads that have become oh-so-familiar by now. "Stupid Shiva! Did you do that on impulse? Ugh! I got riled up too... Maybe I should have stayed back and tried to talk it out?" She laments out loud but knows the damage is done.

She considered going back more than once since the morning she walked out of the lodgings. She didn't want to, but she thought of Shiva when she walked past Dariwala's, recalling the fun day they had watching the tournament. Who knew things could sour overnight?

She stared at the gym's entrance for a good couple of minutes, thinking how much the shutter to the main door resembled the door to Shiva's heart. She turned away from it, wondering if the door to mend her relationship with the said guy was also shut.

Her brain remained a mush when she dropped by the dhaba to grab some chai and some early grub. When the dhabewale uncle, Kuljeet had inquired about Shiva, she dodged the question.

It's 1 p.m. now. Her legs are aching. How much longer will she walk aimlessly?

"At least I shouldn't walk while I'm losing myself in my thoughts." She mumbles to herself and stares at her surroundings.

She's come to the town's outskirts, almost close to the opium field that she discovered with Arjun. Not a soul is around which is a bit eerie. Wait! She must be feeling very low if she thinks the place looks eerie under broad daylight.

"I should still go back. Maybe back to the lodgings to check if Shiva is back..."

Maybe. Or maybe she can wait at the dhaba... See if Shiva will come running in search of her...

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