𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧

Rising Queen: Chapter 9

Angeline.
Their queen.. me? I felt rage coursed through my body. They betrayed me! They shunned me! But now.. now they were calling me their queen?! What.. what nonsense! They did not stand by my side when I was getting thrown away by Gilan. No one defended me when I was being doubted, no one! They all turned their backs at me the moment Gilan spoke! What hypocrisy! The nerve! Suddenly, Talia's smile made me scowl. I glared at her which caught her off guard. My mind was clouded with rage, I could not think rationally. All I could think of was the moment the angels betrayed me. The moment my people threw me away. The moment heaven became my hell.

I stood up and stared down at Talia, "Your queen? Don't give me that nonsense, Talia. You turned your back at me! You did not stand up for me when Gilan was humiliating me! You betrayed me!"

Talia flinched, "B-But senior Angeline.. G-Gilan s-said it was a message from the almighty.." I stepped back, unable to feel anything but rage and humiliation. The way she called me senior Angeline, it struck something within me. It was what Talia had always called me. She used to tell me that I was her favorite senior but.. I guess it was all a lie. And the way they let themselves be manipulated by Gilan.. it only fueled my anger.

"Y-You.. the angels.. you're all actors! Vile and vicious actors! You've come to make a mockery out of me! But I won't have it!" I gritted my teeth, feeling my rage encouraging my mouth to tell the queens to kill them. But I didn't.

"P-Please, s-senior Angeline, let me explain. Please.. let us talk." Talia pleaded as tears ran down her cheeks. Her vibrant blue eyes met mine and all I could see was sadness, regret, and desperation. My heart was breaking and my mind was torn. I needed to breathe.

"I-I.. I need to go." I ignored whatever the queens were saying and went out of the interrogation room.

I ran out of the dungeon, my feet taking me to somewhere, anywhere but there. I just had to escape. I was building up too much rage and fury that I feared I would explode. I just had to escape and breathe. My feet led me to a secluded part of Vaye's garden. I sighed in relief and laid down on the grass, under the shade of tree.

Talia's face filled with fear appeared in my mind. She was cowering when I yelled at her. Part of me felt bad but part of me didn't. Talia did not stand with me when Gilan spoke against me. I remember that day so vividly that Talia cannot manipulate me into believing that she stood up for me. That day will always ignite the worst of me. The humiliation, the betrayal, and the despair.. everything and anything thrown at me at once.

No one can really forget the moment where their life changed. It's something that will live within them forever. It doesn't matter if the change was positive or negative, the only thing that mattered was that their life will never be the same again. That's how I felt. No matter how much I wanted to forget.. I just couldn't. The bitterness.. the anger.. the humiliation.. everything. But then.. my values and my morals, these all tell me that forgiveness is the key to move on. Forgive but never forget as most people say. God would have told me to forgive them, they did not know any better. But something just.. I don't know. I don't feel like I can forgive them. At least not yet. Not when my mind vividly remembered how they ruined me.

I wiped my cheeks harshly, feeling angry at myself. Why was I crying? I shouldn't be crying. I should be angry, I should have been strong enough to face my traitors. To show them that I changed.. that I was no longer the vulnerable and gullible queen that they once knew. I should've hurt them as they've hurt me. But why? Why was I crying? Why can't I stop? Why were the tears just flowing?

Who was I fooling? I did not change. Not one bit. I was still the ignorant queen they knew. If I became their queen once more and one angel decides to betray me, I won't be able to defend myself just like the first time. Because I never changed. I really.. really hate this.