Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[four - another fight?]

"So, how did it go?" Grayson nervously asks as soon as I reach the bottom of the stairs.
"Um, okay, I think." I still haven't fully recovered from Ethan's words and harsh glare.
"Did he open the door?"
"Yeah, eventually. I got him to take the stack of papers and he told me he would go back to school on Monday."
Grayson widens his eyes and grabs my arm.
"What are you, some type of wizard?"
We laugh a little.
"Seriously, you need to come over more often." Grayson smiles at me.
"I can't thank you enough for doing that. It means so much, I can't believe he actually opened the door."
I watch his eyes carefully, and notice they don't look as worried as they were before.
"No problem."
We both walk towards the front door and he opens it for me.
"Are you going to the bonfire tomorrow?" He asks.
"No, I don't really want to."
"Me neither after last weekend. It sucks, though, because I still want to meet everyone and get to know the people in our grade, especially since it's our senior year." He explains.
I totally understand him. If it weren't for Ethan, there would be no problem with Grayson going.
"Well, if you want to go, I think you should. Don't let Ethan's mistake keep you from going."
He smiles at me.
"You're right."
I step outside the house and onto the front porch.
"Thanks for everything. I'm glad I know at least one good person at Clearview. The only people I really know are you and Samantha."
"Are you and Samantha good friends?" I can't help but ask.
He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his sweatpants.
"We've always known each other because our moms are best friends, but to be honest with you, I've never really liked her. She's always been rude and mean to me."
I've never been friends with Samantha, but I have heard things about her in the past. I've had a few classes with her throughout high school, too, but luckily I don't have any with her this year.
"Her and Ethan have always been pretty close, I guess they can relate." Grayson says.
I don't know if it's jealousy, but something about what he says rubs me the wrong way.
"I can see why." I laugh.
Grayson and I finally say our goodbyes and I leave their house before anything else can happen.
-
"You're not going to the bonfire tonight?" My mom walks into my room.
"No, I decided not to."
"You're sure? Why not?"
I sigh.
"I just don't feel like it."
I don't plan on telling her anything about the twins or Charlie. My mom would probably overreact and want to call Amy's parents for more information or something.
"I know what you mean. Is Lilly going?"
"No."
"Well, alright. Let me know if you decide to go anywhere else," she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before walking out of my bedroom and closing the door behind her.
I spend the rest of my Saturday night catching up on homework since I have nothing else to do. Lilly and I text for awhile before I slip under my covers and decide to call it a night.
It'll feel good to get some much needed rest.
-
I am awoken by the loud noise of my phone ringing. I pick it up from my bedside table and squint my eyes as the brightness of the screen shines on my face.
I glance at the top of my screen to read the time, and groan when it reads 1 AM. Not even bothering to see who's calling me, I lazily hit the accept button.
"Hello?" I say into the phone before rubbing my eyes.
"Jessica?"
"Grayson? Is everything okay?"
Why is he calling me so early?
"I am so sorry to call you, I hope I didn't wake you up, I'm so sorry."
If it was any other person, I would pissed off right now, but it's Grayson, so I don't mind. I don't let him know that he woke me up.
"Grayson, it's fine. What's wrong?"
On his side of the phone, I hear faint bangs and crashes.
"Ethan, stop!" Grayson says.
I immediately sit up on my bed, now wide awake.
"Is there any way you can come to Amy's house? I don't know what to do, Ethan got into another fight, and now he won't stop breaking things,"
I jump out of bed and sloppily throw my hair into a ponytail.
"I'm on my way."
-
My thoughts are wild as I drive to Amy's house. Why would Ethan get into another fight after he knows what fighting Charlie did to everyone?
I feel so bad for Grayson, he had no idea what to do. I wonder if Amy knows Ethan got into another fight at her house.
I quickly jump out of my car and run over to the field. When I don't see Grayson or Ethan by the bonfire, I run up to the back of Amy's house and slowly walk in, similar to how I did last weekend.
I run to the room Charlie and Ethan were fighting in last weekend, but nobody is in there. I run down a long hallway and search in almost every room. I gasp when I finally find Grayson and Ethan in one of the many living rooms in Amy's mansion.
The room is destroyed. Ethan's knuckles are bloody, along with a few places on his face. Grayson is pacing back in forth until he notices me in the doorway.
"Jessica, I'm so sorry, I didn't know who else to call or what to do. He won't listen to me-"
"It's okay, really. I'm glad to help, or try to, at least."
I glance over at Ethan who is angrily throwing books from a large bookcase around the room.
"Who did he get in a fight with?" I ask Grayson.
"I don't know, he won't tell me."
Ethan continues to wreck the room.
"Should I stay in here?" Grayson asks.
As much as I want him to, maybe Ethan will only listen to me if I'm the only one here.
"You should go get Amy and tell her what happened."
He nods before rushing out of the room.
And I realize I'm left alone with Ethan. I look over to him, across the room from me. He's completely oblivious to the conversation Grayson and I just had. I don't know if he even is aware I am in here.
"Ethan, please stop." I decide to take a calm approach.
Ignoring me, Ethan continues to let his anger take control of him. He angrily smashes anything he can get into his hands.
I walk closer to him, trying not to be afraid.
"Ethan, please. For me,"
I don't know why those words came out of my mouth, but I'm glad they did when I glance up to see Ethan stop throwing things for a moment.
My heart is beating faster than it ever has before.
He faces the other way, refusing to turn around and meet my eyes.
"What's wrong, Ethan?" I ask him.
His chest moves up and down quickly as he takes deep breaths.
I step over books and broken vases as I walk close to him.
"Talk to me," I tell him.
He leans against the bookcase, still refusing to turn around.
I finally reach him, and I put one of my hands on his back. I rub it gently, doing whatever comes to my mind to calm him down. I lean forward to try and read his face, but his eyes are closed as if he's concentrating on something.
"Are you okay?" I whisper.
He opens his eyes slightly.
"Why do you care?" He says suddenly.
When I think about it, I don't think I really do. I'm just doing this for Grayson, right?
"I'm just trying to help."
"I didn't ask for your help. I didn't ask for anyone," he slams his palm on the bookcase, causing me to jump.
I remove my hand from his back.
I sigh as I start to walk away. I can tell Ethan doesn't want me here, and I need to go see if Grayson is okay so we can start cleaning up Ethan's mess, again.
"I don't want to scare you." I barely hear Ethan say.
My heart flutters, although I know it shouldn't.
I turn back around to see him in the same position, leant against the bookcase.
For the first time, I don't see Ethan as a monster.
"I am not scared." I tell him, even if it's not true.
He pushes himself off the bookcase and turns around to face me. He still doesn't say anything.
"Who did you get into a fight with?" I ask him.
"Some guy." He says, looking down at the ground.
"I thought you said you don't fight anyone unless they give you a reason to?"
He sighs.
"I lied."
I shake my head and try for a second time to leave the room.
"Why did you come here?" He asks.
Without turning around, I answer.
"Grayson called me. You can't keep doing this to him, Ethan."
"Why did you really come here, Jess?"
He asks, ignoring my statement.
My heart is beating out of my chest. I came here because Grayson called me and I don't want any more trouble for him.
I want to slap myself when I realize I also came to make sure Ethan was okay.
"I was worried about you, I guess." The words escape my mouth, and I shock myself by saying them.
I don't know why I am actually worried. I can't help it, I guess. I just don't want Ethan to keep getting in fights and causing trouble for Grayson.
Ethan remains silent. The only sound I hear from behind me are his deep, rhythmic breaths.
I jump slightly when I feel his large hand touch my shoulder, causing me to turn around.
I look into his eyes, and become lost in them. I can't tell what he's thinking.
His jawline is still tense from his anger outburst and droplets of sweat have collected themselves right below his quiff, along his hairline.
I am astonished by how attractive he is. I could probably stare at him forever.
"Don't worry about me, Jess," he breaths.
His eyes are still locked into mine.
He takes his rugged hand, still bloody from the fight, and rises it to my face, cupping my cheek.
Grayson and Amy walk into the room, and I return back to reality as pull back from Ethan's hand.
"Ethan, you can't come to my parties anymore. The first time you did all of this I can deal with, but you should have learned from that. You can't keep wrecking my house." Amy says, annoyance clear in her voice.
I look at Grayson so see him staring directly at Ethan.
Ethan then leaves the room without saying another word.
I suddenly remember the text Ethan sent me last weekend.

Sorry you had to see that. It won't happen again.

His words repeat themselves in my mind. I guess he lied about that, too.
"I don't know what to say, I'll make sure he never comes back here. I'm so sorry, Amy. I'll pay for everything, again." Grayson tells Amy.
"It's not your fault, Grayson. Stop apologizing for him. It's okay,"
"No, it's not. I'm so embarrassed, really. He knows better than to do shit like this yet he still does it."
Grayson's sudden outburst takes me by surprise. I guess he's finally had enough. I don't blame him.
Amy simply nods, understanding Grayson's words.
As Grayson, Amy and I start to clean up the mess in the big living room, a form of déjà vu hits me.
I can't help but wonder where Ethan went as I pick up the books he carelessly threw around the room and return them to their designated spots on the bookshelf.
___
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