Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[thirty one - a present for ethan & an unexpected call]

This week has gone by incredibly fast.

Not that I am complaining- it has almost been almost too good to be true. For the most part.

I think that Principal Carter removing Ethan's expulsion was a real wake-up call for him. He hasn't skipped any of his classes this week, and has even done all of his homework. I can't tell you how many times I have told him how proud I am.

Ethan actually sat with Lilly, Grayson and I at lunch this week instead of leaving school during lunch, too. I didn't even have to try and convince him to stay, he just did. It made me so happy.

On Tuesday, I leaned over to ask Ethan a question in first period.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

He leaned forward in his desk, then lifted his hands up and rubbed them together vigorously. I giggled at his gesture.

"Nothing."

"What? I'm getting you something-"

"I don't want anything, Jess." He shrugged.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm getting you a birthday present."

He shook his head, his long, dark-brown hair moving to the side. I admired the way it drooped down over his forehead, effortlessly looking amazing as always.

Ethan wore a dark red Champion sweatshirt that day. It has easily become my absolute favorite thing that he wears. He looks so good in it.

"Please don't get me anything." He leaned back into his desk.

"I love that sweatshirt," I said, abruptly changing the subject. I don't know exactly why, but the words tumbled out of my mouth.

Ethan laughed deeply, pinching his bottom lip in-between two of his fingers.

"I can tell."

"How?"

"Every time I wear it, you stare at me more than you usually do." He smiled wider.

I immediately felt the blood rise to my cheeks.

"What! I do not stare at you,"

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do."

"No I-"

"Jess, it's okay. I like it."

I folded my arms across my chest, shooting him a look.

"Awww, are you embarrassed, Jess?" He leaned over towards me, poking my cheek with his index finger.

"No."

He continued to poke my cheek, so I smacked his hand away from my face, causing us both to laugh.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed, baby."

I remember my heart skipping a beat at the sound of his new nickname for me. He had never called me that before, and for some reason I found myself loving it and wanting to hear it more.

On Wednesday, I attempted to ask Ethan again while we walked out of school, but didn't make any progress.

"Ethan, please tell me what you want."

"I told you, I don't want anything."

I sighed.

"Just tell me something! Anything!"

Ethan stopped walking, and turned to me before grabbing my face between his hands.

"I do not want anything. I don't like birthday presents,"