Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[nine - samantha hughes?]

Ethan grabs each side of my face, deepening the kiss. I have never felt this feeling before; this absolute lust.
He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him, not breaking the kiss. Nothing else matters right now. He is the only thing I'm worried about.
His tongue slides across my bottom lip, and I suddenly feel incredibly weak. I kiss him back even harder, even though I have no idea if I'm doing any of this right.
The front door suddenly swings open, and I literally jump away from Ethan.
My breaths are rapid and my chest rises and falls with every one. The abrupt loss of contact with him has left me somewhat unsatisfied.
My mind is unable to catch up with the events that have just happened as I hear Ethan breathing equally as hard on the step next to me.
"Hey guys," Grayson enters the house.
Still trying to catch my breath, I awkwardly wave at Grayson and flash my best attempt at a smile at this moment.
I barely glance over at Ethan to see him grabbing onto the stairwell with one hand, his head turned to the floor. His grip is so hard his knuckles have turned white.
"Um, is everything okay?" Grayson asks us.
I hadn't realized how weird we must look. Ethan and I are panting like dogs after a long walk.
Ethan nods his head, still refusing to say a word.
I decide to break the silence.
"Yeah, I was just getting ready to leave."
I collect what's left of myself off the stairs and walk towards the door, next to Grayson.
I notice Grayson trying to fight back a smile, and I know that he probably caught on to what happened.
Ethan disappears up the stairs without another word, leaning Grayson and I alone. I find myself disappointed again, but I know I shouldn't have expected anything different.
"Just helping him with math, huh?" Grayson nudges me.
I roll my eyes, instantly embarrassed.
"I'm going to leave now," I laugh.
Grayson opens the front door for me and deeply chuckles.
"Have any plans for the weekend?" Grayson asks as I walk out.
"You know, besides kissing my brother?" He adds.
I blush even harder than I was before and lightly hit his shoulder.
"No, actually. Lilly and I might go out somewhere tomorrow, but that's all. Do you?"
He shrugs.
"There's a creek not too far from here, so Ethan and I were thinking about going kayaking tomorrow. We have a few kayaks in the back of the garage that we've never even used, so,"
"Yeah, the creek that's a couple miles from school, right?"
Grayson nods, leaning against the side of the front door.
"Lilly and I have gone there with our friends before. It's really fun,"
Memories from my sophomore and junior year suddenly flood themselves through my brain. Lilly and I used to always go there with all of our friends. There's even a little store where you can buy life jackets and rent kayaks and canoes right at the beginning of it.
"If you and Lilly get bored tomorrow, you should come with us, then. I'm sure we have an extra kayak. That way you can show us around,"
"Yeah, I'm sure she would be up for it."
Grayson smiles.
"Great. We're still trying to figure out LA and where everything is, so that would be helpful."
I smile back at Grayson. His kindness will never go unnoticed by me. I would probably do anything to help him.
The thought of going kayaking with Grayson and Ethan excites me. I wonder what Ethan would think about it.
I shouldn't get my hopes up.
"I'll text you tomorrow, then?" Grayson looks up at me.
"Yeah. I'll see you then," I begin to walk down the large stairs of the front porch.
"Bye, Jessica," Grayson calls before vanishing behind the front door.
As I drive home, a sudden rush of excitement flows through me when I think about what's to come.
I can't wait to tell Lilly everything, either.
-
"How was the bonfire?" My mom asks as soon as I enter the house.
I gulp.
"It was okay, same as always." I shrug.
My mom's cold, hard glare remains the same.
"That's funny, because Amy's mom said you weren't even there when I called her."
Well, shit.
"Mom, tons of people go to the bonfires. It would almost be impossible to find me outside, especially with how dark it gets out in the field at night."
"Amy's mom also had Amy go look for you, too. Amy said she was positive you weren't there."
She's not buying it. Maybe I should just confess.
This is so unusual. My mom is never like this, I wonder what triggered her sudden seriousness.
"Alright, mom. I didn't go." I confess.
My mom scoffs before crossing her arms over her chest.
"Where were you, then? I can't believe you lied to me, Jessica Lane."
"Mom, I was just out with friends, I promise."
"What friends?"
"Lilly and Sarah."
Well, I did see Sarah at the twins' house, so it's not completely a lie.
"Where did you all go?"
"Why are you doing this? You never do this," I suddenly snap.
My mom cleans off the end of her shirt and straightens it out. She takes a short, deep breath and purses her lips for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Jessica. I guess I'm just worried about you after what happened to your cheek, that's all."
She exits the room without saying another word. I brush it off and walk to my room, locking the door behind me.
-
"You guys kissed?!" Lilly practically screams, jumping up and down on my bed.
"Yes."
"Jessica, oh my god!" She screams again.
She jumps off my bed and begins to run around the room like a little kid after eating too much sugar. I laugh at the sight.
"He's so hot! I told you he was into you, I knew it. I can't believe this!"
"Shhh," I say, begging her to lower her voice.
"No! This is a something I need to scream over!"
Lilly jumps back onto the bed and proceeds to jump all over on it again, similar to how she was moments ago.
"There's more." I tell her.
She sits with her legs criss-crossed on the other side of the bed now, patiently awaiting the words that will leave my mouth.
"Grayson and Ethan are going kayaking today at the creek, and Grayson invited us to go."
Lilly screams way too loud before jumping off the bed, again, and running around the room, again.
"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god,"
Lilly paces around the room, gasping over and over again. I can't stop laughing.
Lilly has always been a bit boy-crazy, but I don't think I've ever seen her like this.
"What the hell am I going to wear?! I have to look good, Jessica!"
"Don't worry, we have a few hours. Grayson texted me earlier today to meet at his house at one-thirty, and we'll take his car to the creek."
"Jessica, you're my favorite person on this planet." Lilly yells.
I roll my eyes at her.
"I call dibs on Grayson, by the way." Lilly jokingly winks at me.
I simply roll my eyes again.
The doorbell rings, catching Lilly and I both off guard. I shoot her a look before walking out of my room and to the front door.
I peek through the window to try and get a glimpse at who is at the door.
My heart stops when I see Charlie standing there, looking down at his feet.
I back away from the door, stumbling over the carpet in the living room and falling onto the ground. My eyes go wide as I try to decide what to do.
"Jessica? Are you okay?" Lilly calls from my bedroom, but quickly walks out into the living room afterwards.
"Charlie is at the door," I say to her as calmly as possible.
Lilly's face goes pale.
"Why the hell would he show up to your doorstep?" She whispers.
"I don't know, do I answer it?" I whisper back.
Lilly shrugs, a terrified expression covering her face.
"What do I do!" I whisper at her with more intensity in my tone.
"Just answer it and see what he wants, I'll be right here if anything happens." Lilly assures me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Although I don't think answering the door is the smartest idea, I am curious as to why he's here and what he wants. I hesitantly stand up from the ground and place my hand on the doorknob. Lilly disappears down the hallway, hiding behind a corner of the wall.
I slowly creak the front door open, revealing Charlie.
His red eyes look up to meet mine, and I can instantly tell that something is not right.
"Jessica, I need to talk to you."
I gulp as I cross my arms over my chest. I am willing to listen to what he has to say, but if he makes one wrong move, I will slam this door in his face.
"I d-didn't mean to hit you, y-you know that," he slurs, stupidly smiling afterwards.
It's Saturday morning and he's already drunk. I am disgusted.
"Charlie, you're drunk. You need to leave." I am surprised by my braveness.
"No! Listen to me! I am sorry, I didn't m-mean to hurt you, or Sarah," his voice breaks when he says the last word.
He starts to cry, his red eyes becoming moist. He rubs them with both of his hands and sniffles.
A part of me wants to believe him, and wants to feel sorry for him. But not in the state he's in right now.
"You need to leave, Charlie." I repeat.
"I'm sorry, Jess. I am." He slurs before walking off, having trouble walking on his two feet.
I wonder how he even got here. He's drunk, so I hope he didn't drive. I am relieved when I don't notice his car in my driveway.
He couldn't have walked, could he have? Why would be walk to my front door, drunk, on a Saturday morning?
He must have really lost it.
I don't know what to do. I slam the door, then lean against it.
"That was so weird," Lilly says from the hallway.
"I know."
I am beyond glad that my mother is out at the moment so she didn't witness what just happened. She would have lost her shit, especially with how she's been acting lately.
Lilly looks up at me after a few moments of silence.
"Are you good?" She asks.
I nod.
"Let's just forget about it and get ready to go kayak," I suggest.
Lilly squeals, throwing her hands up into the air.
-
As Lilly and I pull into the twins' driveway, Lilly's eyes widen and my stomach twists and turns.
"Their house is so huge," Lilly gapes as she examines the house.
"I know."
We both look at each other and take a deep breath. I can't help but smile as we act like little school girls.
"Nervous?" I ask her.
"No, just excited."
The butterflies in my stomach grow larger and larger with every word that escapes my mouth. I don't know why I'm so anxious.
"Let's go." Lilly says before opening her car door.
I smile before slipping out of my car and walking up to the front door with Lilly.
I am happy to see Anne when the front door is opened.
"Jessica, it's good to see you again! How are you?" Anne asks, engulfing me into one of her warm hugs.
"I'm alright."
I pull away from Anne and smile at Lilly.
"Lilly, this is Anne, Grayson and Ethan's mom." I introduce her.
"It's lovely to meet you, I know you're great if you're Jessica's friend." Anne smiles at Lilly before hugging her.
Lilly is taken aback by Anne's kindness but quickly recovers and hugs her back. I laugh lightly, remembering when I first met Anne.
"It's good to meet you too," Lilly replies to Anne.
"The boys are just getting everything ready, the kayaks are already tied onto the top of Grayson's car-"
"I'm getting everything ready, Ethan's lazy ass is upstairs doing who knows what." Grayson appears, carrying a blue cooler. Anne hits her sons shoulder, giggling.
Grayson smiles at Lilly and I, and I laugh when Lilly blushes.
"I made all of you sandwiches for if you get hungry, they're all in the cooler. There's drinks, too. Oh, and, I want all of you to wear sunscreen-"
"Mom," Grayson smiles at her.
I can't help but laugh at them.
"Okay, okay. You guys have fun, I have my own plans today." Anne winks at us before leaving the room.
"I don't know what she means by that. I don't think I want to know, actually." Grayson says.
Lilly laughs a bit too hard and I nudge her with my elbow. She clears her throat and leans against the staircase. I laugh again at her immaturity.
"Someone can help me take this out to the car-"  Grayson starts.
"I'll help!" Lilly interrupts him and grabs the other side of the cooler.
Grayson smiles at her before lifting his side of the cooler.
"Jessica, you could go get Ethan, we're about to leave," Grayson explains.
"Yeah, I'll meet you guys at the car."
Lilly winks at me and I shoot her a look before walking up the stairs.
I happily trot over to Ethan's bedroom door to find it slightly cracked. I slowly push it open, peeking in.
"Ethan, we're about to leave-"
I feel as if my jaw drops to the floor when I see Ethan and Samantha on his bed. Their hands are all over each other. Samantha is straddling Ethan, and Ethan grabs her back as if he's begging for more. Their lips are connected over and over again, making me want to throw up. Ethan is shirtless and Samantha rubs her hands all over him.
My heart stops for a second time today and I suddenly feel extremely stupid. I want nothing more than to run away and pretend like I never met Ethan.
Samantha groans when she climbs off of Ethan and sees me, standing in the doorway, like the pathetic disappointment of a human being I am.
"Why does she always walk in on us?" Samantha asks Ethan, completely ignoring me.
Ethan looks over to me for a brief second, but quickly averts his glare back to Samantha.
I feel as if I am unable to move. I am completely frozen in place.
"What the hell are you staring at?" Samantha says to me, almost as if she's mocking me.
"Uh, I, I didn't mean to-"
She laughs, mocking me even more.
I wish I could just curl up into a ball and cry. I feel the tears starting to form at the corners of my eyes but I take everything in me to try and make them stop. I can feel a lump in my throat but I swallow a few times to make it go away.
"Ethan, I'm leaving. Call me later." Samantha buttons her top before walking over to Ethan's bedroom window and disappearing out of it.
I don't know what just happened. All I know is that I've never been so humiliated in my life.
"What was that?" I ask Ethan, my voice coming out ridiculous.
He slips off his bed and grabs his shirt from off the floor. He doesn't say a word.
"We kissed yesterday, but you're dating her?" I try to piece together the puzzle in front of me.
"First of all, you kissed me,"
His words sting immediately.
"Second of all, we're not dating. We're... Friends with benefits," Ethan shrugs as if it's nothing.
I want to slap him. I literally want to go up and slap him harder than I've ever hit anything before.
I hear him say something else as I walk out of his room, but nothing in me wants to turn around.
I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.
___
please comment and vote, i hope you're enjoying so far!

things are about to get really juicy, lol.