Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[five - defending ethan & charlie's downfall]

Walking into school on Monday, I see Charlie from a distance and make an effort to rush up to him. His head hangs low as he jostles through the crowd of students.
"Charlie, wait up!" I call out to him.
He turns around and faces me. I can't help but notice the obvious destruction all over his face, still noticeable from Ethan's powerful punches.
"Oh my god," I say without realizing. My hand immediately covers my mouth.
Charlie's facial expression remains the same.
"It's okay, I'm used to that reaction by now." He sighs.
I feel even more bad for him than I already did. Sarah definitely was not lying when she said his face was pretty bad.
"Charlie, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. If there's anything I can do, please let me know."
"Sarah's been taking good care of me. I'm okay as long as I have her, really."
A small smile replaces his previous frown.
"Good." I say.
We walk off together, starting to head towards the front doors of the school. Both of our heads face the ground.
"Charlie, I have something to ask you,"
He averts his glare from the ground and turns his head at me.
"Ethan told me that you were the one that started the fight." I nervously rush out the words.
Scared of how he'll react, I focus on the corner of the notebook I'm holding. I pick at the plastic covering.
"Why were you even talking to that prick?"
I knew I shouldn't have brought this up.
"It's a long story, but I was dropping off some homework at his house, and he told me you started the fight."
He shakes his head back and forth, laughing slightly.
"It doesn't matter, anyways. At least I showed up to school, even with how fucked up my face was. He wasn't here all last week, he's a coward."
I don't exactly like the way the words leave his mouth, but I know if I was him I would feel the same way.
I remember my encounter with Ethan and asking him why he hadn't been at school. He simply shrugged, not even saying a word.
"Not to mention he got entire another fight at Amy's on Saturday, and wrecked another room in her house. Who does that?"
I wait to feel the same anger towards Ethan that Charlie does, but the feeling never comes. He didn't beat the shit out of me, though, so I guess that helps.
"He probably has a lot going on with the move and everything," I say, referring to their recent move to LA and the fact that their mom has cancer.
"Are you seriously defending him, Jess?"
Charlie stops walking and looks me dead in the eyes.

Am I defending Ethan?

"No, Charlie. I'm just saying, he could have a lot going on," I try to convince myself.
"Like what? The only thing he has going on is being a fucking psycho."
Suddenly annoyed by Charlie's tone, I take a step closer to him.
"Their mom has cancer, actually, and Grayson said Ethan's not taking it very well." I say only loud enough for us to hear.
"What are you, like best friends with them or something?"
"That's not the point. I'm not saying you shouldn't be angry about what Ethan did or anything, either. I just-"
"What are you saying, then?" He cuts me off.
He crosses his arms over his chest, appearing amused in what I have to say.
"I don't know. Just try to understand what he could be going through, Charlie."
He rolls his eyes.
I leave him standing alone and walk off, entering the school.
I groan when I realize I'm almost five minutes late to class. I rush through the school, almost running by the time I finally reach Pre-Cal.
Out of breath, I knock on the door a few times. I close my eyes to try and prepare for what Mrs. Jones will say.
The door creaks open slightly.
"Jessica Perkins, you're late." She says as I still attempt to catch my breath.
For the first time, I wish I had Ethan's confidence so I could casually say "obviously" and push past her.
But, fortunately, I am not Ethan.
"I know, I'm sorry. I got caught up with something."
She observes my appearance, looking at my face, down to my shoes, then back up to my face. I force an awkward smile.
"I'll let this one slide, only because it's the third week of school. Don't let something like this happen again."
She swings the door completely open, revealing the entire class. They all stare directly at me.
I see Ethan in his desk next to mine, and try to fight back a smile. He actually showed up.
I slowly walk over to my desk and take a seat, trying to ignore everyone's eyes. Eventually, everyone becomes uninterested and returns to their assignment in front of them.
Except Ethan. He continues to stare.
I look up to meet his intimidating glare. I almost flinch when he leans over to me.
"Oh, how the tables have turned." He smiles, referring to the fact that I'm late.
I capture his smile with my eyes for the first time. It's absolutely beautiful.
I laugh a little.
"I'm never late, I swear."
He smirks at me before leaning back to his own desk.
"You actually showed up," I whisper so that Mrs. Jones or any of the students around us cannot hear.
"I told you I would, didn't I?"
I have never seen Ethan this way, actually somewhat nice and willing to hold a conversation. His smile still remains across his face, and I love it.
I like him this way.
I look down at my desk for a moment, remembering my conversation with Charlie.