Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[forty three - understanding, a bucket list, & a sleepover]

I know I should smile, congratulate Anne, and pull her in for a big hug, but... I am so confused.

I have so many questions and so many concerns, but I know that now is not the time to ask or comment about anything. Instead, I shake out of my daze and force my lips into a smile for Anne.

"Wow," is all I can manage to say.

"I know! I can't believe it either, but I am so excited!" Anne jumps up and down repeatedly.

Grayson sighs from the side, but I know he is trying his best to seem happy for his mother. I think we are both equally confused.

I can't even imagine what Ethan is thinking right now. I'll deal with him later.

"This is great, Anne. I'm so happy for you." I say.

She takes a deep breath, placing her hands over her chest briefly to add effect.

"Oh, thank you. Robert and I agreed that we want to get married as soon as possible, so we have a ton of planning to do. You both will have to help me!" Anne claps her hands together.

Despite Grayson and I's confusion, Anne's excitement for her upcoming wedding is beyond adorable and I suddenly have the feeling that maybe this won't be as bad as it seems.

Grayson grabs his mother's hand and smiles.

"Don't worry, mom. We will help with everything."

Anne is silent for a moment before reaching up to wipe a fallen tear from her cheek.

"I don't know how I got so lucky to have a son like you, Grayson. You've always been my sweet boy."

"I'm the lucky one, mom." Grayson leans over to hug Anne.

The sight in front of me is absolutely precious, yet somewhat heartbreaking at the same time considering the circumstances. I love this family so much it hurts.

"And, Jessica," Anne pulls away from Grayson and directs her eyes towards me, "I feel blessed everyday that you are apart of our lives. You've helped all of us in ways you will never even know. I can't wait for you to help with the wedding!"

Anne engulfs me into her familiar hug and I grin onto her shoulder.

"I can't wait, either."

Anne finally pulls away and huffs.

"Well, I'm going to go start on dinner before I start bawling my eyes out. It'll be ready in about thirty minutes!"

Grayson and I smile and nod as Anne rushes back into the house.

Grayson looks over to me, and we simultaneously sigh. He walks past me to take a seat on the top step of the deck and I follow behind, plopping down next to him.

He runs his hands through his hair, stopping in the middle to rest his face into his hands. I reach over and throw my arm around his shoulder, trying to provide some sort of comfort. I don't really know how he feels about all of this.

"Are you okay?" I break the silence.

He throws his hands down next to him, looking up before slowly nodding.

"Yeah. I just... I don't fully understand. She's going to die soon, Jessica. Why would she want to get married? And why would Robert voluntarily marry a woman that is going to die? Why would he set himself up for an inevitable heartbreak?"

I shake my head.

"I'm wondering the same thing."

Grayson looks down to his hands as he twiddles his thumbs.