Rough Heart | ethan dolan

[ten - jealousy, kayaking, & changing ethan]

"Jess," I hear him say again.

Ignoring him for a second time, I continue to walk down the long hallway. I can't believe he thinks I'll actually talk to him as if nothing happened. I don't even want to go kayaking anymore, I hope Grayson won't be upset.

I feel Ethan's hand on my shoulder, and he turns me around to face him. He looks into my eyes for a moment, seeming amused. His lips turn up into a wicked smirk and it takes everything in me not to smack him.

"Are you jealous, Jess?"

His smirk grows. I hate the way he knows he has control over me, and he knows he has power. It's almost as if he's mocking me. My chest begins to burn.

"No."

Yes, extremely.

Ethan scoffs, instantly detecting my lie.

"Yes you are."

I don't dare to look up at him. My eyes remain glued on the floor. He steps closer to me, causing my stomach to drop. I am irate at this point.

"Stop, Ethan." I beg him.

I am still recovering from my embarrassment. I hate the way he acts as if it's not a big deal at all. He probably does this all the time; hooks up with girls and thinks nothing of it. I should've known better. This is all my fault.

I replay the sight of Samantha on top of him from a few minutes ago. A shiver runs down my spine and I quickly push the thought away.

"You are jealous," he continues to taunt me.

I can't believe I ever thought anything positive about him. I can't believe I actually gave him a chance, and I can't believe I sucked myself into it all. I should've known from the very start when he got into the first fight with Charlie that he was nothing but bad news.

I remember when Ethan helped me after Charlie hit me. He put the bandage on my cheek and told me to text him if I needed anything else. It was all an act, and I was too naive to believe it all. I should have not even come here that day. I should have never come for anything.

Suddenly, my anger takes over me.

"Is this what you want? Does my humiliation make you happy or something? Do you want me to be jealous, just so you can tell everyone you made yet another girl like you? You're sick, Ethan."

I push at his chest, causing him to stumble back. His eyebrows furrow and he stares directly at me, like he always does. That harsh, cruel glare will forever be the death of me.

I try to walk away once again, but I am interrupted by his words.

"You like me?"

I almost laugh.

"That is not the point."

Did I just admit that I like him? Why am I doing this to myself?

"Do you like me, Jess?" he asks again, catching me off guard.

His tone has shifted from mocking and intense to soft and almost quiet. I am surprised by the sudden change.

When I finally glance up to meet his eyes, I notice he's the one staring at the floor this time.

"It doesn't matter, you have Samantha. You guys should date, you'd make a great couple-"

"I would never date her. We've always just fooled around like that, I don't know..." Ethan scratches the back of his neck in discomfort.

"Oh,"

None of this matters, anyways. If Ethan was interested in me he would not have hooked up with Samantha after kissing me.