Forty-eight

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"Kelsey!" Carleigh practically screams. Rushing over to me, squeezing me tight.

"Kelsey Morgan." Morgan comments. I laugh.

"Oh, you're so little. Eat something, please." Carleigh practically begs.

"I have been eating,"

"Kelsey." Lin says, standing behind me.

"Morgan." Morgan says.

"Some. Eating some."

"I was so fucking worried, Kelsey Morgan Emmott! We could have lost you." She says, hugging me again, quickly.

"I heard Kelsey Morgan." Thanyne says, running in. First I feel a hug from him and than at least two others. I pull myself out from underneath.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." I say, unconvincingly.

"Can I still hug you?" Neil says.

"Lotta hugs." I comment before giving him a hug.

"Lin, she's really thin." I hear Pippa say, quietly to Lin. They aren't far away from me. I can hear you. "Like, drop dead from malnutrition thin."

"I know, Pippa." He says, sadly. She turns back to see me looking at them. Her face turns red and her mouth gapes open when she realizes we're that close.

"Kelsey, I didn't mean-" she stops talking and I nod and go see Emmy who just came in. She looks like she's seen a ghost.

"Oh, you've gotta gain some weight." She says before giving me a hug.

"Why does everyone have to comment on my weight? I didn't have a tube and I was barely awake. Of course I lost weight from that." I know that more than her heard that. It wasn't directed at only her. I sit down in one of the chairs next to Carleigh as Lin says something quietly to Emmy. Emmy comes over a minute later.

"I'm sorry." We both say at once.

"I just-"

"No, I totally understand. You went through a lot. It's fine."

"Emmy, I'm still not eating. Sure that was why I lost weight but it is partially my fault." I tell her. "Sorry." I say to the her and Pippa. We eat lunch together at the table. I stick between Lin and Careigh.

Lin rubs my back as I open up my sandwich. I eat about half of half of it and then everyone keeps looking at me. I say that I will be right back and walk into the hall and sit down on the stairs.

Carleigh emerges a moment later, sitting next to me.

"You alright?" I nod leaning my head on her shoulder. "I know what you are. You're the little sister of the cast. You might be twenty but because of your circumstances and what you've had to go through, you just need some support."

"Thanks." I say. She takes my hands as I lift my head.

"But please Kesley. I'm begging you. Eat. Just the rest of that half of the sandwich." She looks at me, sad and concerned. I nod, not wanting to make anyone upset and return to finish the sandwich. Lin smiles and thanks Kelsey, quietly. Everyone seems happier. But me? At least I can find happiness in them being happy.

I go see the other people that I haven't seen yet, and sit down in the girls ensemble room, going in my phone for a while.

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