What you know (Hamilton cast)

Seventy-one

Kelseys POV
"Oh my god! You choreographed that, Bean?" Carleigh says, hugging me tight.

"I knew you were good but wow." Jonathan says.

"Not true but thanks." They've only seen clips but want to go next Monday. He rolls his eyes.

"Oh, I missed you."

"I missed you guys too."
-
Lin's POV
"Kelsey." I shake the figure lightly, waking her up almost immediately.

"What?" She asks, turning her head toward the pillow, tired. I put the can back in and pull the trash bag shut, sighing.

"Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Did you drink?" She doesn't answer but turns over and looks at me as if she's just awoken from death.

"Why do you think that I drank?"

"I found it in your trash bag." I say.

"You went through the trash?" She asks. I'd seen that she's tied it and my curiosity got the best of me. "My fault." She sighs, sitting up. "What time is it?"

"Ten thirty."

"Oh. I only slept a half hour?" I nod, helping her to sit the rest of the way up. "I'm not drunk."

"But you drank. I'm not mad. It would be strange if you didn't."

"But you don't like it."

"I don't like any of that. I refuse to watch that video of you in that production of Chicago."

"But that wasn't bad at all."

"But it was you."

"Well never look too far into my internet past."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just don't know what's out there."

"That's pretty serious. Did people tape you before you when you were a stripper or something?"

"Oh, god. Please never bring that up again. And no. I mean like- I don't know. Dancing and stuff. It's be fine to anyone but you."

"Alright."

"How did the interview go?"

"I don't forget your life. I know your previous jobs."

"We aren't talking about this."

"Fine. We'll talk tomorrow. Sleep it off."

"I'm not drunk."

"I know, just- sorry that I woke you up. We'll talk tomorrow."
-
"She's with Jackson." Pippa says, rounding the corner and stepping into my dressing room.

"Vanessa just texted me."

"You have to let her stay with him. She confides in him."

"She confides in us."

"Then why would she go and drink away her sorrow and refuse to speak to you about it."

"She didn't get drunk-"

"Jessica texted me. She did. You didn't see it. No one ever does."

"Well, she shut down. She doesn't want to put anything else on anyone else so she won't say anything anymore. I'm just giving her a break. It's easier to watch when I can just check in whenever and make sure she isn't drowning of getting worse or anything."

"She's not telling us. But what is she telling Jackson? I mean, I don't know that much about them, but I do know that she likes him because he has things to tell her too. She doesn't have to feel like she's burdening him because he shares his shit too."

"How do you know this?"

"She told me why she likes him. The rest is just what I've accumulated."

"You know Jackson, right?"

"I've met him a maybe twice. He's a nice guy. Carleigh thinks so too."

"Carleigh walked in on undressing her." She laughs and shakes her head.

"You can't control her forever. That night, I do a thorough search on Kelsey. Well, not that thorough. But enough that I get past recent videos and to ones before the show or outside the studio. I'm not exactly pleased with what I find and I sure hope no one in the cast sees the videos of a the skeleton like girl in such little clothing. She's always seemed like a good girl, despite all the ways that she really isn't.

But it is just dancing, though not in the most appropriate manner when with men but the videos are blurry and her name isn't in the title. Plus there's not much so I move on. She worked there. She needed to make money. That's all.

The rest of the month, Kelsey seems fine. She's not around as much. She teaches and choreographs for much smaller things but I don't really hear about them. I almost hear nothing. Everything we say is small talk and all she talks about with Vanessa is apartments and finances. On top of that, she's always doing schoolwork and barely talking to the cast.

Talking does not mean words. She often answers texts, greets them, makes small talk backstage, and uses a little social media. She smiles more often but I never see anything else. She's always happy or sarcastic. Not that I should complain, but the most worried that I ever get is when I forget her life. Forget her past. Forget that she could easily be drowning right before my eyes. In the next room over.

She can handle herself. She's old enough. She's smiling. It's genuine. She's not afraid of confiding in Jackson. She's not afraid to kiss him.

She barely even flinches when his hands wrap around her waist. She doesn't whimper when he presses her back against the wall. She doesn't reject his touch and she returns his kisses. I should be happy that there is someone there for her. I am happy.

What is keeping me from moving on? Letting go. Believing that she can handle herself as she had for all her life.
-
A/N- no he doesn't like her like that😑

Just making sure