What you know (Hamilton cast)

Fifty-nine

Kelsey's POV
"Kelsey." Pippa says, taking my hand and bringing me inside her apartment. "I was worried."

"I was only a half hour late. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. Hungry?"

"Not really-" I'm cut off by her expression. "Um, yeah, I guess." I say, nervous under her eyes. I follow her into the kitchen where she asks me if I ate dinner. She stares at my eyes, making me feel forced to look away. "It's kinda late." I say, after she offers it.

"Well, you can't be moving around that much and not eat." I shrug as she goes to the fridge. "So we're having another sleepover." She tells me.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's not an option if you go or not this time. Lin said you're going." She hands me a yogurt that she knows I eat and I thank her as she grabs one for herself.

"When is it."

"Next Sunday."

"I ha-"

"Kelsey."

"No, I'm serious. It's not an option. It goes until nine."

"Then come after it."

"I'll be there at ten." She glances at me, disapproving. "Why is everyone always worried? I've taken care of myself since my mom died."

"Because none of us know the exact reason that you tired to kill yourself."

"Because something is always wrong with me and it hurts you guys. I see it and I don't want you to worry about me. It's a waste of your time and staying alive just meant more was going to hurt."

"But we want to help you."

"I appreciate that but would you quit it?" I turn around and walk towards the door as she calls my name.

"Don't just leave. You can't always leave."

"Yeah, I can't. No one will let me." I grab my bag and walk out of the apartment.
-
I guess Pippa told the cast what I said. No one has asked me if I'm okay and no one has commented on my exhaust. Maybe they're trying to make me realize that I want help but I really don't. I want to be left alone and I finally am. I can tell that I'm being watched when I eat or when Lin glances over my shoulder when I'm doing work. Or that Tommy looks at me, thinking I can't see him, Andy peers in the door when I'm practicing in the small warm up space when no one else is in there.

I know that they haven't forgotten me and it bothers me a bit but at least I don't have to hear it.

"New shoes?" Andy asks, leaning against the wall. I nod.

"I have a hole in my old jazz shoes." He nods. The space is pretty small because it's a New York theater, but it's useable.

"What are you working on?" I shrug.

"I teach a girl and she's a lefty so I'm trying to reverse her turns in her solo because I just found this out. Problem is, I can't do these turns to the left."

"Welcome to choreography." I laugh. "You should probably take a break though."

"Yeah." I say, not wanting the scolding to start now.

"Keep stretching."

"Stretching is my life."

"Clearly."
-
A/N- fun fact, Im a lefty:p but i still made her a righty. Oh well.