"Don't you ever think what life would be like if everything just stopped?" I began and looked down.
Grayson and I were now in his bed laying down just facing each other while the sun was setting coming in through the window. Grayson and I close to each other's faces.
"What?" Grayson questioned and looked at me.
I sighed before I began talking again "a lot of people are afraid that when they die, they are going to be locked up in a dark room... forever. And sort of undergo that."
I still didn't look at Grayson "try to imagine what it would be like to close your eyes and never open them again. Everything you know and loved just gone when your heart stops."
"Would anything change? Probably not because if your not known for something, your basically nothing. But there are people out there making differences and making people smile, while some people are making people cry and worry. I don't get it. Why make people cry when you can make them feel happy? Like I get it sometimes chaos needs to happen but sometimes it's just unnecessary." I continued.
"Sometimes I feel worry, alone, broken, lost, afraid, different, drunk. Just like an outsider. I know a lot of people feel this. But not at the same time. I do. We all have our flaws, I just happen to have all of them. If I would have just changed one thing about me, it's to have no more flaws, but then I would be... perfect. Then I would just want to die because being perfect is a flaw if you think about it. Sometimes having a flaw is the best thing because it makes you who you are and being you makes you different than every one else. Being you is the only thing your good at so why not keep doing it." I added and still looked down.
"Some people do want to change... for the better. And they should but of course, it's hard. And that's why they never do change. Because it's hard."
"Y/n—"
"Love is war. Love is when you find someone perfect. But that doesn't mean that the relationship is perfect. Love is never leaving someone's side just because of one hard ass obstacle, it's going through that obstacle together because you don't want that person to go through it alone. There is no such thing as 'finding someone better' in love because the person your with is the better person. There is no one else that can describe that person better than the one your with because they just know everything about you. Love is a drug. Get some of it you instantly become addicted. Get too much of it your dead." I added and looked up to see Grayson shocked.
"Dreams are for the kids with idle brains. Why dream when you know it's not going to come true. It's stupid. But then again, it keeps us sane. And calm at times. Other than that it's pointless. Sometimes people rely on dreams just to see if they get happier, but that's just in their dreams." I laughed a little.
"I didn't know you had those thoughts, y/n." Grayson said and tucked some hair behind my ear.
"Just thoughts." I smiled.
