Love Does Cost A Thing

Book one: Chapter thirty six

Zuri's POV

I'm not someone to give into anger yet yesterday I did. I was angry, I mean really really mad at Luigi and his stupid accusations based on his unnecessary jealousy and lack of trust.

Going out with Kai and getting emotional after the bomb he dropped, wishing I could instantly go home to my bed and think about everything, only to get home and get into a fight.

Our first fight as a couple. It wasn't cool, the anger and harsh words we both said to each other before going to my room and afterwards, all in the name of proving our points we were at fault.

Honestly, I meant breaking off the engagement with Lui. Being in a relationship is all about trust and love, he proved to me yesterday he didn't trust me, not even a tiny bit and I can't stay in a relationship where there's no trust.

He easily allowed his anger take the best of him and almost called me a slut, had I not slapped him, making me resort to violence. Something I don't condone and I can't forgive myself for doing that, he's a man who got me mad yesterday, no matter his fault, I didn't have the right to lay my finger on him. Wrong or not, he's still a full bloodied man.

Full bloodied man, ha. As rock hard and manly as he is, he fell at my feet yesterday, begging me to forgive him for what I did. I was really surprised at his actions, he did betray the Gianni lineage by kneeling down at the  feet of a poor lady like me to apologize.

I forgave him, it takes everything in a man like him to do that and I was moved. He has become soft and more of a human than the steel beast he was when he wasn't in love with me and I'm happy about that but that doesn't give him the right to piss me off and then apologize, knowing I'll forgive him easily. I drive that into his head yesterday and we ended up sleeping on my bed till this morning.

"Baby."

Silence. I can't bring myself to talking to him this morning though I've forgiven him.

"Vita mia."

Silence.

"My love please talk to me." It still hurts me, everything that happened yesterday, it's fresh in my memory. Love doesn't keep memory of wrong doings but I'm human, it's going to take time for me to forget about it.

That doesn't mean I've not forgiven him. Nah, you can forgive in a twinkle of an eye but forgetting will take time depending on the severity of the wrong done to you.

In my case, it is very very severe. "Please love, I can't bear this silent treatment, please."

I slowly removed his hands off me, getting away from him and laying on my bed. I don't trust myself not to just melt into him by we holding hands and getting intimate, I'll surrender my all to him within seconds. "Lui, I'm tired please leave me to rest."

"I'm sorry love, what should I do to make you forgive me totally?"

"I've forgiven you, there's no grudge. I want to rest because I'm tired, is it so much to ask?"

"Fine, if you say so. I'm going to head downstairs and get breakfast, should I bring yours up here?"

"Nah, I'm good." I turned to the other side of the room, where the wall is. I heard him sigh and the door squeaking open and close and he was gone.

He's giving me the space to rest, then why I'm I feeling empty and lonely? Why do I wish for him to come back to me and hold me tightly and safely in his arms if I want to rest like I said.