Chris POV
" I don't know, bro I keep telling her that it's not worth it. At the end of the day y'all have been friends since yall was a little kid and every time you have a disagreement you feel like shit. That's not normal, we only have one argument like that where I left you feeling like shit and that was because of the Rain. I just felt as a grown man the shit that you are doing in the moment wasn't right. It's like every argument they have. She always has to kick her out the house and just do the most or leave her somewhere. Like the last time I had to go pick her the fuck up from some fucking house party with a bunch a little ass fucking niggas and bitches. That's why I told Bahia don't go to no parties or club with her because even before that I had to go pick her up in the club and Rain was nowhere around. She doesn't comprehend how unsafe that is. She is definitely a different person from the Rain that we met it's at a point where I can't even say it is your fault. I can't say is your fault it's whoever she was hanging around in college that got her thinking her shit don't stink."
" I stop blaming myself so long ago. I had to free myself of that. That shit almost broke me. I never in my life thought that I would ever experience no shit like that."
"Bahia was crying about you the other night. She just kept saying how we fucked up. She feels that we weren't there for you when you needed us. I don't know exactly what she was talking about. It was just a overwhelming day for her."
" that wasn't yall fault that was something that I had to get through for myself as a man. That shit made me realize like calling out for help, It's just something that's not something I would ever do again. I don't think I will ever be in a predicament where I need to do that again. I had to sit in it and then I realize this is the same shit that Tom'e went through. Then I went to the phase of guilt and feeling like I deserved it. It was just a lot of shit going on and I don't think anybody could really help me. Then it was the whole thing with Nijay catching me kiss Rain. It was just a lot going on. I just needed to sit in my own shit."
" I'm not even going to lie I do feel like we turned our back on you. I just never knew you to be that way and the way that you loved her I would've never expected you to do her like that and I feel like that's what made me look at you strange. You already know how we communicate how we talk If a nigga can slime his bitch, the one that suck his dick. He no loyalty towards nobody."
" for sure." I nodded.
" but we definitely could've did more to support you in that time. You were depressed and we didn't even take the time to realize how bad things had gotten for you. If it was the other way around, you would've had our back and sometimes I do regret that shit because you do interact with us differently now. I mean you still are brother and we still do everything together but it's so much shit that we don't talk about that we used to talk about. You don't invite us into your life fully. I feel like it's more secrets between us than it is inside jokes or things like that."
I sighed.
I never even realize. But now that he is saying something, I can definitely admit that I chose to shut down on them. It's no reason to tell them anything because I felt like they just turned their back on me. It hurt more for the twins because they knew me and I knew them before any and everybody that's around now.
" damn I didn't even realize shit got that bad. I've just been so caught up in my own head. I definitely feel like I just go to shit myself because that show me that it's possible for me to go to Shit myself. And that's the best option because I'm a grown ass man."
" for sure, but I can promise you as your brothers, me, and E have your back, no matter what." I looked at him and he sighed. " that shit makes me feel like shit that we wasn't there for you. I never took you for the type to get depressed and things like that because you have always been the strong one out of all of us. But the fact that when you did we turned our back from you. That shit fucks with me. I apologize. You will never have to worry about that shit on our part ever again. Because it did nothing for us. It cause division that didn't need to happen. It doesn't matter if it was just for six months or seven months, there's something we never been to before."
