Stranger Things - Imagines (Book 2)

Billy Hargrove X Reader - What Was I Made For?

A/N - This chapter was inspired by the song What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish, which was part of the incredible Barbie movie (If you haven't seen it already go right now!) I hope you all enjoy it.

Ever since you'd lost your spot on the cheer squad, you had been feeling lost. Floating through the school halls in clothes that felt wrong, missing your uniform, missing your friends as they went skipping off to practise without you. You'd been part of the squad since you were in Junior High. Hell, it had been your entire life until a couple of weeks ago, when the new coach had decided you just weren't the right fit for it anymore. 

There was nothing you could do. Not really. You'd attempted to argue back. Attempted to get the other girls to vouch for you. Tried to keep your spot. But before you were even fully gone, they had replaced you. A pretty petite blonde taking your place, kicking you to the curb quicker than anyone could've really imagined. 

Billy had tried keeping the mood light after you'd told him what had happened. He took you for ice cream and cracked cheesy jokes and let you play whatever music you wanted in the car. And as much as you appreciated the attempt, it hadn't really helped. 

Cheer had been your identity. Without it, you were nothing. 

But you'd kept the thoughts to yourself. Billy was your boyfriend, not your therapist. So you bottled up the sadness and plastered on a fake smile and let him believe that it wasn't that big a deal, even though it was slowly killing you. 

"Hey Princess," Billy uttered in your ear, so close to you that it made you almost jump out of your skin, catching your elbow on the corner of your locker door as you span to glare at him. "Oh Baby," he hummed, catching your arm and lifting it. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he pressed on, running his thumb over the red mark where you'd made contact. 

"I wasn't paying attention," you murmured, gently pulling your arm out of his grip and turning back to grab your books from the locker. 

Billy hesitated for a moment. "Is something wrong?" he started softly, his hands shifting to rest on your hips. 

"Nope," you answered quietly, shoving the books into your bag and turning to him with a wide, fake smile. "You ready to head out?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he murmured, his brow furrowed, and your smile had faded from your features. 

"No-"

"Then why are you lying to me?"

Your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip. "I'm not lying-"

"Something is wrong and you're keeping it from me," he pressed on. "And I hate that you don't feel like you can talk to me. Makes me feel like I'm a shitty boyfriend."

Your entire expression softened. "You aren't a shitty boyfriend," you protested, letting your hands shift to rest against his chest. "But you didn't become my boyfriend to listen to me bitch about how shitty my life is. That's not what boyfriends are for-"

"That's exactly what boyfriends are for," he disagreed. "You listen to me bitch and moan about Neil all the time," he added. "So I want to listen to you."

You hesitated for a moment, looking around the almost empty hallway. "Can we not do this here?"

He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he shut the locker behind you, steering you towards the exit. By the time you got out to the car, your anxiety had built to a crescendo. Sure, Billy said it was fine, but you were pretty sure that he was expecting something small, not some big life-altering confession. 

"In we go," he hummed, holding the car door for you and offering you a small smile when you murmured a soft thank you. And then, he was sitting beside you, setting his hand down on the armrest, letting you take it at your own pace. You did exactly that, linking your fingers through his, a soft smile pulling at your lips when his thumb ran over the skin on the back of your hand. "Talk to me."

You swallowed down the lump in your throat, your eyes lingering on your hands for a moment before drifting away to look through the windscreen at the handful of other cars still littering the parking lot. 

"I used to know who I was," you uttered, frowning to yourself as you bit down on the inside of your cheek. "I mean, I was Y/N Y/L/N, right? I was a cheerleader and I was popular and everyone cared about what I had to say." You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in an attempt to stop the tears that wanted to flow. "But now, I'm just Y/N. I'm not special or important. I'm just me and I don't really know who that is."

"Baby," Billy hummed softly, sounding so damn heartbroken that it made you feel guilty for even saying anything. "You're the most special person I've ever met," he told you, drawing your joined hands up to his mouth and kissing your knuckles. "The cheer squad wasn't who you were, it was just a tiny part of what you did."

Your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip. "I don't know who I am without it," you breathed out, feeling the first tears start to make wet tracks down your cheeks.

"You're the girl who is sweet to everyone she meets," he started softly, squeezing your hand lightly. "You're kind and funny and smart." He paused for a moment. "And so unbelievably beautiful," he pressed on. "And you'll find something else to love the way you loved cheer, alright? You'll turn that passion of yours on something else and you'll be incredible at it because you always are." 

You sniffled softly, drawing his hand into your lap, watching it carefully as you fiddled with his fingers.

"I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but it's still fresh. You're going to come through it and you'll find something else to love." He paused for a moment, his lips twitching up slightly. "And until you do, you can just be you, alright? And I'll be right here loving you until you're ready to love yourself again, Baby."

When another soft sniffle slipped out of you, Billy tugged you closer, pulling you into his chest to let you cry quietly. 

"Just take your time, Princess."

Please consider supporting me for just £3 using Ko-Fi. The link is available on my profile page. If you have any questions about Ko-Fi please feel free to private message me. Thank you. L x