Sidemen And Friends Imagines

Vikk #8

This imagine is for @AbzieSDMN ! I hope you enjoy!
WARNING:SELF HARM
[Word Count:1169]
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Y/N's POV

You sit on the floor in your bathroom, staring down at the blade. It has dried blood on it from your last session. That's all they are now, sessions.

You do this so often that it barely means anything to you anymore.

Looking down at your wrist, you can see countless scars, some fresher than others. And now today, you'll add even fresher ones to the mix.

You take the blade and gently place it on your skin.

You're imperfect. Cut.

Vikk's fans hate you. Cut.

You'll never be good enough for him. Cut.

You watch the new slashes as blood slowly trickles out of them. But they're not enough.

You think of more and more problems in your life, cutting more and deeper than you have ever cut before.

And yet, you don't care.

As your arm gets too tired to lift the blade anymore, you drop it and the blade glides across the floor.

You stare up at the ceiling, not being able to bring yourself to do anything else.

You could die right here. Alone, in your bathroom, with no one else with you. It would be an escape. You would be doing everyone else a favor.

You don't realize when it happens, but suddenly you're vision is blocked by someone. Vikk.

He seems to be yelling, but you can't hear him. He's shaking you, trying to get a reaction. You try to tell him you're fine. You try to say that you have done this before.

But you can't talk.

He's crying, you can tell. The distraught look on his face gives it away.

Your breathing begins to get shallower. And it's harder to keep your eyes open.

Your eyelids flutter open  and closed. You try to keep them open for Vikk, but it's not working.

Soon, they close and as hard as you try, you can't open them.

~•~•~•~•~

"Y/N, please don't leave me." You hear someone say. Their voice sounds hoarse, as if they've been crying for a long time.

You try to get up to comfor him, but you can't. You try to move anything, whether it's a finger or a toe, but nothing seems to be working.

Your eyes fly open and you slowly turn your head so you're looking at him.

"Vikk." Though, you tried to say it normally, it is barely just a whisper.

Yet, he hears it. His head shoots up to look at you, relief flooding over his face. "Y/N. Thank God you're okay. I don't know what I would have done without you. I'm so sorry. I never knew that you did this. Please tell me it wasn't me that drive you to do this. I never want to lose you." He begins talking, even more than he normally does.

"Vikk." You whisper again, unable to bring yourself to say more than that. He stops talking, looking at you expectantly. You just smile and squeeze his hand.

He sighs and nods his head. "Why don't you get some rest. You need it." He says, standing up out of his chair, and leaning over your bed to kiss your forehead. "We'll talk about this later, when you're fully rested."

You nod your head and watch as he slowly leaves the room, shutting the door behind himself.

As much as you don't want to sleep, you can feel the exhaustion fighting against you. Your eyes slowly close, and you're asleep once more.

~•~•~•~•~

You wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside of your window. How long were you asleep for?

Your wrist throbs as you roll over to grab your phone off of your nightstand.

You look down to see your wrist wrapped in a bandage, completely covering the slashes, both new and old.

You climb out of your bed and leave your room, needing something to eat. You shiver as your bare feet touch the cold hardwood, heading toward the kitchen.

You hoped Vikk would stay, but so far you haven't seen a sign that he's here. Entering the kitchen, you see a note on the table.

You walk over and grab it, immediately recognizing Vikk's handwriting.

Y/N,

I went to the store to get more bandages and ibuprofen. I was hoping to be back before you woke up, but if you're reading this, then I guess I didn't make it. I'll be hime soon, I promise.

Love,
Vikk

You smile at the note. You couldn't possibly have found a better boyfriend. You walk over to your toaster and grab two slices of bread, popping them in. Your stomach growls as you do so, making you curious as to the last time you ate.

As the toast cooks, you can't help but want to see the aftermath of yesterday. You grab an end of the bandage and pull, unwrapping Vikk's hard work.

It looks awful. There are so many cuts covered with dried blood. It makes it look like your entire wrist was bleeding.

As you're staring at it, you hear Vikk walk into your flat. You turn as you hear him sigh.

"Y/N..." He begins, walking over to you. He gently grabs your arm and kisses your wrist before straightening up and looking at you. "You're beautiful and I hope you know that." He states, making you bite your lip.

He grabs your hand and walks you toward your couch. "Come on, let's talk about it."

You sigh and plop down into the comfort of your couch. "Do we have to?" You ask him. You never even wanted him to find out and now you have to talk about it with him.

He nods his head. "I want to be here to help you. It's had to help if you don't tell me what's happening. What's wrong, Y/N?"

You sigh and look away from Vikk. "I just feel like I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. Your fans say I'm not good enough for you. I say I'm not good enough for you." You tell him, finally getting it off of your chest.

He frowns at you, wrapping his arm around you and bringing you close to him. "Y/N, you are the most amazing girl I have ever met. You're drop dead gorgeous and I can never take my eyes off of you. You are so smart that you make me feel dumb, and that's say in something." Vikk pauses to laugh. "I don't care what the fans say about you. You are all I have ever wanted. I don't plan on ever letting you go."

You smile up at him, taking his words to heart. "Now promise me," he continues, looking down at you, pleading with his eyes. "Promise me that you will never do this again. I can't stand to see you hurt yourself."

You snuggle closer to him and he kisses the top of your head. "I promise."