Infinite - Jake T. Austin Love Story

41: Spilled Mess

Not the best chapter because I'm in school now, and I have to write on my free time only.

Songs of the chapter-

• Have You Ever - Brandy Norwood

• Hate that I Love You - Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

• Tonight - John Legend

• One - Ed Sheeran

• All of Me - John Legend

• Half a Heart - One Direction

• Say Something - A Great Big World

_________

41: Spilled Mess

*

Point of View: Marian Lara Estrada

*

I hung up on Skype immediately, not prepared to talk to either of them. I saw the worried expression on Jayce's face as soon as he gazed onto the screen, and right as I did hang up, my laptop blasts with calls from him. My hand is on my heart, my lungs suffocating - gasping for air as of now. The way Jake had spoke to me - it was out of the ordinary: I've never seen him this angered; I've never seen him like this at all. He isn't perfect, and I'm definitely not as well, but it hurts. I can't remove the pain inside my chest - it won't stop scratching my insides - wanting me to something, but I just can't. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to erase everything that just happened as if it were just a dream.

But I can't.

I stand from my bed, walking towards my drawer. I grab the stack of envelopes wrapped up all together, returning back into my seat. I slide my finger through the sealed corner, ripping the first envelope open. I pull out the paper inside, my tears falling down already as soon as I straighten the edges.

The heading is largely written on top:

Number One out of One Hundred

I feel a pang of hurt, knowing he wrote this because he loves me. Or loved, but I continue on reading the letter.

Hey Lara aka babe aka sweetheart aka my love,

This is my first letter I'm making to you. I'm not actually sending them out with a stamp; I'm sending this with your auntie's package - I hope you're fine with that. Anyways, please excuse my penmanship - I'm not an artist like you ;)

Reason 1 on why I love you -

I love that even when I am not near you, you're constantly on my mind. When I'm at work, you take over my mind in an instant. It's crazy what you make me do. I'll be reciting my line in front of everyone, and out of nowhere, I'll blank out - smiling like an idiot as I remember our time at the beach for one of the video shoots. I honestly can't get over the fact that I'm the luckiest guy in the world. You make me so happy: you're beautiful, loving, and the heart you carry inside of you is one of the kind. You're so patient with me, and I can't get over it. I don't want to make this letter too long, or else I won't have anything else to write for the next 99 - oh wait, that's impossible... I can write endless things about you. Don't forget I love you so so much.

Sincerely,

Jake.

Beneath the letter, a photo is attached to the bottom of him carrying me to the beach water, our smiles larger than ever. I remember that day as if it's a distant memory - the emotions still inside of me. He told me to open these letters whenever I needed a reminder of his love, but right now... A question roams my mind.