Peter Parker Whump + other stuff

You'll be alright 3

Peter's POV

3 weeks later

I was used to the fact that Tony was alive and eventually got over that fact. I spent time catching up with Tony but I could sense that he wanted to talk to me about something but we never really had time alone because someone else was always there to make sure Tony was alright. I was leaving in 2 weeks to go back to college and I was stressing about it. 

I was constantly worried that Tony would just disappear again and that I'll never see him again or say goodbye. I was afraid that this was just an illusion or a long dream and that he'll just leave like everyone does, I tried not to get too attached to Tony but it was hard when he constantly wanted to be around me. But, I was thankful for his company especially on the hard days when jumping on the roof of this house looked more appealing than getting up in the morning. 

I rolled over in my bed and groaned when I saw it was 6:00 AM, no one would be up for another hour and I couldn't go back to bed. I slowly got up and changed into some black basketball shorts and my maroon M.I.T hoodie which was big on me, I pulled on some black socks and my trainers before slipping out my bedroom door as quietly as I could. I went downstairs and grabbed a sticky note and wrote a quick message saying I was going for a walk around the lake. 

I opened the fly screen door and it snapped shut behind me, the sun was rising over the lake and trees and it was so quiet and calm unlike everything else in my life. The chilly morning air made me draw my hoodie tighter around me before walking down the porch stairs, I was about to walk onto the pathway that went around the lake when I heard the door creak open and snap shut again.

"Hey Pete, where are you going?" Tony asked.

"I'm just going for a walk, you know, to clear my head and stuff," I replied.

"Mind if I join you?"

I shook my head and Tony walked beside me on the gravel pathway, birds began chirping and everything seemed peaceful.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me about anything if you need to, right?" he asked.

"Why would I need to talk to you?" I asked playing dumb.

Tony sighed and lightly tapped my wrists.

"I know about that and everything else," he whispered.

I paused and subconsciously rubbed my wrists and tugged my hoodie further down over my hands.

"Right," I mumbled, "Did Pepper tell you?"

"She told me that you've been struggling since you know what and she told me about your attempts and how bad they were, she told me you've been clean for 6 months now," he replied, "But Morgan was the one who told me about the cuts. She asked me if my scars on my arm would ever fade and when I said no she said that she asked about the cuts on your arms and Pepper told her that you were going through a lot right now," 

I nodded and guilt washed over me.

"I'm sorry Tony, I didn't mean for Morgan to see them. Well, I didn't mean for anyone to see them it was a coping thing and I thought it would pass but-"

"Slow down kid, it's alright. Pepper told me that you hid it from everyone for a while so I'm glad she found out when she did otherwise something much worse might've happened," Tony interrupted.

I froze, I remembered those same damn words I said to Tony when I thought he was dying. Even though he's alive now I still remembered how scared I was and the words were engraved into my mind.

We won, we won Mr Stark, we won you did it, sir. 

I'm sorry, Tony...

"Don't disappear into that big brain of yours Pete," Tony interrupted.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Tony sighed and we kept walking, we were halfway around the lake and I could see the lake house on the other side of the lake.

"Why didn't you tell anyone earlier?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and Tony gave me a look, he knew that I had an answer but I just didn't want to say it. I sighed again.

"I had no one else left and no one to live for, no one needed to look after me and heaven seemed a lot more appealing than waking up in the morning, and sometimes it still does look more appealing but then I realise how much of a burden I'd bring on Pepper if I died with the funeral and the promise she made to May," I explained quietly.

"Don't you dare think about that, everyone loves you and we all need you here. What about Morgan? She would've been distraught that she lost you. When I was in a coma Morgan was lucky to have someone like you in her life to help her through the loss. Don't even get me started on the Avengers, Happy and Pepper they would've found a way to bring you back from the dead because they love you. Now that I'm here there's nothing I would do for you kid, you're the reason millions of people are now back in the world, you're the reason we decided to have Morgan and you made me open up to people and change the way I look at the world, you did that without even realising it," Tony ranted.

I sighed and Tony wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked and I began to realise that maybe earth was the place for me to be...

2 weeks later

Tony insisted on driving me all the way back to M.I.T so we could have quality time together, I told him all about the stuff I've done as an Avenger and Spider-Man and we blasted ACDC through the speakers and Tony ranted on and on about how proud he was of me and how much I've grown up and brought up embarrassing memories.

"How much stupid stuff have you done in three years?" Tony asked.

"Not that much actually, and I'm not lying!" I argued as Tony snorted in disbelief, "Well, there was one time that I accidentally crashed into a billboard when I was patrolling,"

"What! How can you crash into a billboard!" Tony laughed.

"I was distracted," I tried to defend myself.

Tony laughed and shook his head.

"Was anything hurt? Besides your pride of course," Tony asked.

I rolled my eyes but laughter escaped my mouth. 

We pulled up to the college and I took a steadying breath and convinced myself that everything would be okay. I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder and Tony placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Everything will be fine, alright Pete? I'm so proud of you," Tony said.

"I know, thank you, Tony," I said giving him a real smile.

I hugged him and began walking towards the building but after I took a few steps MJ barrelled into me and kissed me. I pulled away after a few seconds and hugged her tighter and spun her around.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed.

"You're definitely coming to the lake house next holidays," I agreed.

"Peter! You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!" Tony explained in mock offence.

I smiled, yep, earth wasn't so bad after all...