Secrets In The City

27: Hostage

LILLIAN

YOUR father is supposed to be your first love. As a child, I idolized my dad. He was the only man that loved and adored me with all of his heart. The kind of man I wished to marry in the future.

Our bond is as tight as braids the first day you get it newly done by the hairstylist. My mother and I, not so much. There were days she would be perched in the living room hauled with secret thoughts.

Sixteen years ago, the doctor diagnosed her with depression. On some days when I would walk past her and my father's room, I'd hear certain noises. They sounded like silent sobs and most times they were arguments.

On a rainy night, at the age of four, my mother tucked me into bed after singing me lullabies and reading my favorite bedtime stories to me. After she pecked my forehead, she retreated from my bedroom.

Back then, she and my father always left a small opening in my door because of my fear of the dark. Which was why it took time for me to fall asleep.

I remember hearing a loud shout that came from the living room. I got scared and curious, so I got up from my bed to investigate. With the little memory I have from that night, I can still see my mother running to me with tears in her eyes, ordering me to go to sleep.

"It's okay baby. Go to sleep. It's just a dream."

She would say while rubbing my shoulders and escorting me back to my room.

My time at therapy with Mr.Williams, helped me point out the issues I had growing up. The frigid love from my mother, the constant arguments with my parents, and the loneliness all influenced who I was starting to become.

It's a wonder that I was able to let Brena into my life. With the fresh information I was told, it gives rise to why we came to be attached so fast. Heeding to Victoria's story generated a sense of humility. I thought I had it unpleasant but Brena has been through so much worse.

I hang up the call without giving Damien a chance to answer back before passing the phone to Henry. Rather for him to walk away, he stands there gaping at me once again.

"Do you want me to drive you there? Since you're a guest and all." He proposes with a small grin.

"Sure. Thanks." I say simply, not making eye contact.

How can life turn into math? Something so modest becomes confounded. I pray to God I didn't offend anyone and if I did, I ask for forgiveness.

I mean that would be the only justification as to why I'm going through the impediments that I'm confronting right now.

Why me? Why Brena? Typical family secrets include things like, your grandfather was in the military or your mother didn't even get an A in her classes.

This has gone past secrets.

These are dark mysteries, ones that were concealed deep in the dirt by one man. The very man I happen to call a father. My heart is torn due to everything.

Even a public apology wouldn't make everything go away. Especially with wrongs he has committed. I've become a hostage in my own family. The walls are closing in on me and I can barely breathe.