(Alternate) Steven Universe x Corrupt gem reader Insert

part 81: Nuclear family...?

"Doctor, it's my son..." a distressed woman uttered. "There was an accident... I-"

"I know what we have to do." A man's voice assured. "Nurse!"

"Yes doctor?" Another woman quipped.

"Prep the patient for emergency surgery." The man ordered. "We're gonna go... Under the Knife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"UGGGGH! This show is so good!" Connie, who was sprawled out atop steven's bed squealed gleefully at the cold opening of the television show. On either side of her, sat steven who noted his friend's reaction with a smile and lifted brow and spinel who's focus was on the show with a blank, contemplative expression. With another cry of delight, she faceplants into the bed. "Thank you so much for letting me watch 'Under the Knife' here, guys."

"How come you can't watch the show at home?" Steven questions. "My mom says this doesn't represent a real emergency room." Connie explains with a tired note in her voice.

"How did his legs... get into... his brain!?"

"She doesn't get it's satire." Connie finishes as Spinel's face contorts into a comdic look of discomfort at the image on the screen. "Didn't know humans could bend that way..."

There was a sudden ringing that came from Connie's purse, that sat on spinel's head, catching everyone's attention. "It's probably my mom." Reaching into her bag, she fishes out the phone and checks the caller ID. "...called it."

Sitting up straight and putting on her glasses, she clears her throat then answers the phone in her best nonchalant voice. "Hi, mother. It's Connie. Mm-hm. Yes ma'am." Her eyes flicked to steven. "I'm at the home of Steven Universe. Mm-hm. Yes ma'am. We're-We're just hanging out. Oh... Steven's parents and little sister..." her face wilted in concern. "They're uh- they're in the other room. You would like to talk to Steven's mom? Oh... okay. Hold on a moment." She takes the phone away from her face and covers the mic.

"That's gonna be pretty hard since my actual mom gave up her physical form to make me..." steven notes with a weary face.

"I can't tell her that!" Connie hisses worriedly.

"But what do we do now?" Spinel asks worriedly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Garnet, Quick! You have to pretend to be my mom to Connie's mom!"

Garnet who was sitting on the living room couch cooly takes the phone. "Hello. This is... Mom Universe. Yes..." she adjusts her visor. "The children are playing swords. Sorry- playing with swords. They're bleeding. Oh nooo, they're dead. Don't call again." With that, garnet hangs up the phone and passes it back to steven.

"Sorry. I panicked."

The two kids stare at the gem leader with shocked expressions as spinel facepalms in defeat. "Rats..."

~~~~~~{timeskip-a-roo}~~~~~~

"Aw, what do you mean 'your mom won't let you come over?" Steven frowns in disappointment as he watches spinel dress a cake with white frosting. "It's the mid-season of pre-finale of 'Under the Knife'!"

"Steven, my parents are really upset." Connie replies sadly. "They say they will not let me see you again until they meet both of your parents in person."

"But that's impossible!" Steven exclaims worriedly.

"I know, but they want both our families to go out together for dinner..." Connie says, with an oddly weary note.

"It sounds so... adult." Steven notes, aligning the cake with cheeseballs. "I wonder if Fish Stew Pizza will take reservations for..." he looks over at spinel, whilst counting on his fingers. "Spinel... pearl... garnet.. dad... amethyst... (name)... all ten of us."

"You can't bring everybody!" Connie exclaims hurriedly.

"Why not?" Spinel asks, lifting her brow.

"Because.... because..." Connie hesitates, before blurting; "I told my parents you have a nuclear family!"

"Nuclear?!" Steven scoffs in offense. "Sure they make stuff explode sometimes, but that's because they're magic not radioactive!"

"...Steven." Connie frowns, mildly taken aback by the misinterpretation. "Nuclear means two adults and their child and/or children." She explains. "My parents think you live with your mother, father and little sister."

Steven frowns disheartenedly. "But none of that is true...you never told your mom and dad about the crystal gems?"

"No, and it has to stay that way." Connie states firmly. "If they find out I lied to them, they'll never let me hang out with you again."

~~~~~{more time passes}~~~~~

"How am I supposed to choose just one of you to bring to dinner?" Steven asks out loud, pacing in front of the gems with a troubled expression as his father struggled to put on a green sweater nearby. "You're all so... cool!"

"Why does it have to he dinner?" Pearl questions with notable disgust. "We get all the energy we need from our gems, and while our human constructs are capable of eating... I find it very uncomfortable." She finishes with a mild shudder.

"I love eating!" Ameythyst chirps, chuckling. "Feels wierd."

She feasts on a bag of chips obnoxiously, spilling crumbs onto garnet's shoulder, in which she quickly brushes off.

"Okay, okay okay... let's focus. Which one of you would make the best and most Nuclear mom?"

He looks at spinel. "Spinel... you look more like uhh... fun little sister."

Spinel wrinkles her nose in what looks like offense. "Little?! But i'm older than you-!"

He walks upto garnet. "Garnet, you keep us safe by scaring off the bad guys, just like a mom would!"

He was met with silence from the leader, not gaining so much as a flinch from her. "...but not much of a conversationalist."

He walks over to Ameythyst. "Ameythyst, you would be a super fun mom!"

Ameythyst, still hoggishly stuffing her face with chips with drool running down her lips, starts to shamelessly pick at her nose. "...can moms be gross?"

"Why not?" She asks, pulling her finger out from her nostril, a strand of mucus along with it.

He then walks to pearl, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Pearl! You're always worried about me, you teach me and spinel lots of stuff, you're approachable and you're like, totally not gross."

Behind the boy, Ameythyst still continues to eat piggishly, her nose running, which causes pearl to reel in disgust at the display. "But... you can't eat dinner."

Defeated, he sulks over to the couch to sit next to his father sadly. "Man, why didn't Connie have to say I have one mother instead of zero... or..."

Just then a the front door opens, and a familiar, fluffy figure presses herself through the doorway, holding 3 boxes of donuts, smiling at the team warmly as you bit into a donut in a free paw. "Hello, everyone! (Name) brought donuts!" You greeted warmly, setting the donuts aside.

"That's it! IT'S SO OBVIOUS!" Steven exclaims jumping to his feet, startling everyone as he ran in front of you excitedly.

"(Name)! YOU can be my Nuclear mom!"