Lost In Amsterdam

Fity

Your POV 

I thanked Billie for her kindness and accepted her offer to take photos at her next LA show. I couldn't believe, some dreams really come true. I played the song Girls Need Love, and my phone linked up to Hailee's speaker. I walked up behind her and hugged her from behind. I put my head on her shoulder and moved her hair and gave her small gentle kisses on her neck. I started to sway to the music and Hailee joined me. I turned her around and lifted her onto the counter sitting. She hugged me and my head just lay on her stomach. "Hailee", I say. "yes my love", she says. "I'm sorry for getting a little mad earlier", I say. "no listen, I understand, I should have told you that we sometimes talk", she says. "maybe yeah", I say softly. "But you got pretty jealous", she jokes. I let go of her. "what, me, jealous, never", I say walking away. I was jealous but I wasn't gonna say that to her. 

We finished our dinner and went upstairs. We go up to her room and I sort out my clothes for my washing. Hailee's phone buzzes. She looks at it. "uh y/n, I gotta go, I'll be back later", she says putting on a pair of shoes. "oh okay where are you going", I ask. "just to my parents, I'm gonna go and pick up Martini", she says. "okay see you later my love", I say giving her a kiss. "bye honey", she says.

Hailee has been gone for about an hour. I was debating whether or not to text her and ask was everything okay but I just figured she was catching up with her family. It was almost 10pm at this stage and I got ready for bed, I washed my teeth, did my skin routine and changed. I got into bed and almost instantly fell asleep.

I woke up to some shuffling around the room. I slowly lifted my head. "hello", I said with a croaking voice. "it's me y/n, go back to sleep", Hailee says. "what time is it", I ask. "uh 12",she replies. "why you back so late", I ask. "was just with the fam for a while", Hailee says. "ah, okay, well goodnight", I say putting my head back down on the pillow and closing my eyes. Hailee lifts up the duvet to get into the bed and a get a draft of cold air. "jaysus, put that duvet back it's cold", I moan. Hailee gets into the bed, pulls the duvet back and snuggles up to me. "that better", she says. "yeah, goodnight", I say. "goodnight y/n, I love you", Hailee says. "I love you too Hailee", I say.

The next morning I wake up and realise that Hailee isn't next to me. "Hailee", I say. No reply. I get up out of bed, put my slides on, grab my phone and head downstairs. "shit", I hear in the distance. I walk into the kitchen and see Hailee with her face in her hands. "are you okay", I say walking over to her. Hailee hands me her phone. "fuck me", I say. "fuck, what am I going to do", she says. The paps had caught us holding hands and somehow caught us kissing in the car. "what were you thinking, kissing me like that", Hailee says. I'm a little taken aback. "what", I say. "you shouldn't have done that, now look", she says pacing around the kitchen. "again, what", I say shocked. "How's this my fault", I ask. "cause you kissed me", Hailee says. "but it was in the car, private, it wasn't outside, I didn't know they could see otherwise I wouldn't have honest", I say. "yeah well, they can y/n", she says angry. "okay well, I'm sorry, I am, I just wanted to thank you, nothing malicious, I promise", I say. "it doesn't matter", Hailee says. How is she blaming me, she serious?. Not my fault the paps are everywhere. "okay", I say quietly and leave the room. "no wait y/n", I hear as I leave. I continue to walk on. "y/n please", Hailee says. I stop and turn around. "yeah", I say a little angry. "look I'm sorry, I didn't mean that", she says sadly. "it's fine", I say pissed off. "no, no it's not, it's not your fault", Hailee says. "look Hailee, you clearly just need some time to think about it, I'm gonna go out, give you time and space and come back later", I say. "no please", Hailee says grabbing my arm. "just think about it Hailee, I know you need some space at the moment", I say.

I get changed and leave her house. I was a little hurt to be honest, I still don't know how she could possibly blame me. Anyway, maybe one day she won't be afraid, but I'll wait for her, I always will. I decided to go around the town, did some shopping, got some food and took some photos. Hailee was begging me to come back but I was giving her some space so I just ignored the texts. I was walking back to Hailee's later that afternoon and was approached by a guy and a camera. "what do you have to say about the pictures that were realised yesterday, is that you and Hailee confirming a relationship", he asks me. "could you please just not, I don't see why you guys care anyway", I say. Shit maybe I shouldn't of said that. "look I'm sorry, that was rude but no like we've both said before we are just friends", I say continuing to walk. "are you sure, not all friends kiss you know", he says. "well some might, I don't know what to tell you, now if you wouldn't mind please can you just take that camera out of my face, thank you", I say. He doesn't obviously. I order and uber and make my escape.

I get back to Hailee's around 5pm. Hailee jumps up from the couch when she sees me come in. "y/n", she says walking over fast to me. "I've missed you", she says. She gives me a hug and I hug her back. "can we talk", she says. "yeah I guess", I say. We sit down on the couch. Hailee grabs my hands. "listen, I'm sorry y/n, I just got a little overwhelmed and I shouldn't have taken it out on you, it wasn't fair, and it wasn't your fault, it was no ones, you were perfectly entitled to give me a kiss, you are my girlfriend after all and I know we love each other", she says as her voice cracks a bit. My baby. "Hailee", I say. "just let me finish", she says. I nod. "I'm not ashamed of you, just to make that clear, I'm just not ready yet, one day I'll be ready, trust me, I want to tell people, but honestly im scared, people can be so mean and judgy, but I just want you to know that I do, love you, and I'm so happy and grateful that you are mine", she says. "me too Hailee, I get it, I'm scared too, but I'll wait for you", I say. A couple of tears drop from her eyes. "I'm really sorry, I was so rude to you, you didn't deserve it", she cries. I hug her and pull her head to my stomach. "listen we all make mistakes, I'm not saying it was okay, but I get it", I say. "I love you", she manages to say. I hug her tighter. "Where's martini", I ask. "oh uh my Mum wanted to keep her a few more days, she changed her mind when I got there", Hailee says. "oh, fair enough I guess", I say.