BTS Sickfics

Jungkook: Cardiac Tamponade

request by uzumaki-haru :)

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Jungkook's POV -

When BTS was a new group, I was an early teen. I had little life experience, living away from home for the first time. I had nothing. The world was scary, and I didn't fully understand everything that was happening to BTS as a group. I wasn't part of fany of the big meetings, and the hyungs made sure to sugar coat everything for me, treating me like a little kid.

I guess I was really just a little kid, but I wasn't sure I appreciated it at the time. I was doing the same job as my hyungs, so I wanted to be treated the same. I felt very grown up, with this big career promised and singing and dancing. I knew we had little money, but I always believed in us, no matter the circumstances.

The hyungs just swept me under their arm, though. No matter what happened, they made sure I was the first to eat, the first to shower. They stuck up for me if someone in the company was rude to me, and babied me like I was actually their little brother. I hated it at first, but then I just ... got used to it. I figured I could use their love to my benefit. I could get what I wanted.

It wasn't hard, either. I just had to flash those big doe eyes and pot, and bam, I got everything I wanted. I got first pick of the cramped beds, what we picked for dinner, what the punishments were for games - of which I got to sneak out of. I was mollycoddled to my heart's content.

Then, we started getting bigger. We gained more traction, earnt more money, lived in better areas. Our schedules got bigger, longer, harder. We were working non stop, desperate to prove to our fans that we were worth the shot they were giving us. Time started slipping by faster and faster. Birthdays came and went. Before I knew it I was 18, then I was graduating, and then I was 21. There was such little time to stop to take it all in, and acknowledge I wasn't a little kid anymore, but a fully grown adult.

We matured. The hyungs didn't sit on me as much. I went out by myself, drank, and had new friends of my own, but I never really stopped being their 'responsibility'. I still have to do what Seokjin tells me to do, and I have to call Taehyung and Jimin hyung, even though they're more childish than I am.

However, this all meant that I didn't really take care of myself. Not in the hygiene, basic needs way, but that I never stuck up for myself. I let my hyungs deal with all the hard stuff happening behind the scenes so that I wouldn't have to. It meant I could focus more time into myself, do what I enjoy doing, whilst my hyungs overworked themselves. It wasn't meant in a selfish way. I was just used to them wanting to do that for me.

No matter how old I am, I know I'll always be the hyungs' baby, their golden maknae. Even when I'm 40, they'll always see that little 13 year old, terrified and eyeing up Namjoon-hyung's thighs. They'll always love me as a little brother, and I've come to appreciate that.

*

It's pretty late at night when we leave dance practice. It's been a hard, troublesome day. As much as I love dancing, it gets pretty boring after the 6th hour. All I want to do is have a hot shower, and curl up into my soft bed. I know there's a bit more producing the others need to do, and I would love to join in, but I know the hyungs will want me to go to bed.

"Are you tired?" Hoseok asks me on command.

I nod my head, yawning wide. "That's really taken it out of me. Do you guys need help with the producing?"

I can see in Hoseok's tired eyes that he wants to say yes, but he shakes his head quickly. "No, no. Don't you worry about that. We'll manage. A handsome young man like you needs all the rest he can get." Then, he looks at me sadly. "Though, I suppose you're done growing ... I just keep forgetting how old you are now. You're taller than me!"