Losing Himself

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Warning: This chapter is a bit... steamy or not, but I hope you'll enjoy it all.

Samuel's P.O.V.

Damn it.

Samuel held his phone in his hand, pacing around his living room. Rachael's sight followed each of his movements, and she was certain she'd get dizzy anytime soon if her father didn't stop moving. She wanted to ask questions but knew why he was like that. It had been hours, and her mother had yet to return from wherever she went. She didn't know why her father had been so concerned about that, but he had been unnecessarily bothered about her since family day.

"I won't call her..." He murmured. He couldn't count the number of times he had said that. Soon, he opened his phone again. "Fuck it. I'll just call her. I should have followed her to deliver the goddamn invitations."

Not wanting to wait another minute, he dialed her number. Slowly, he counted the number of times it beeped before she picked up – it had beeped six times, and his heartbeat had matched each of that beep.

"Where are you?"

He went straight to the point, not bothering with pleasantries. The fact that she could pick up meant she was fine.

"On our way back."

He sighed in relief and stopped moving, "How close are you?"

"Very close. Are you that worried about me? I'm not a little girl you know."

His eyes slid to Rachael. He wanted to yell that danger had nothing to do with being little or not, but he couldn't in Rachael's presence. He deeply breathed, "We will discuss when you come back."

He hung up.

Rachael's smile was so wide that her teeth were on display, "Are you that bothered about mummy?"

How do you explain to a little girl that their family might be in danger of a stalker or murderer? Would she know the meaning of a stalker?

He sighed, "Daddy's duty is to protect his family. I'll always be bothered if you went out for a long time too. So, try not to make daddy bothered, ehn, babe."

She thought about it for a while, "What if I wanted to visit my boyfriend or something?"

He should have known better than to try to communicate with Rachael, "I thought we already finished discussing about this boyfriend."

She pouted, and he almost gave in to her demand.

"No boyfriend, until you're thirty."

Rachael frowned at him, "But it's not fair, daddy. In this generation, girls my age have boyfriends. It's common and normal."

Well, girls your age don't know what they are doing, Samuel thought. He didn't tell her that, though. Lola would handle this topic; she's best when dealing with Rachael's curiosity about relationships. He changed the topic, "Babe, why don't you forget about your boyfriend for now and tell me about your designs? Aunt Lola told me about them. Why didn't you tell me? Daddy's hurt." He held his heart and whined about how hurt he was.

"Sorry, Daddy, I was planning on telling you. But I am so happy. I'm happy to have a mummy to tell things. So, I ended up telling her first." She wore that sad expression so well Samuel quickly forgot about it.

"Well, you can tell me now. I want to know everything about my baby. Don't be shy to tell me things or ask for help."

She nodded. Then, she started narrating what she had observed in Mayor's workshop. Although most of her narratives were wrong, and she kept mistaking things, Samuel smiled through it like it was the most amazing business pitch he had ever heard. He was lost in his conversation with Rachael; they didn't hear the door opening until Lola booed them.

Rachael jumped on him while Samuel wrapped his hand around her protectively, surrendering himself to whatever danger coming towards them. When they finally calmed down and saw Lola smiling down at them, Samuel breathed relief, and Rachael jumped on her.

"Welcome mummy. Daddy really misses you so so so so much." She said smugly, hoping to embarrass her father.

Samuel face-palmed. He wasn't embarrassed rather, he was pleased to see Lola back without any sign of injury on her or anywhere visible. He was going to check later if there was any hidden.

"Huh huh. Mummy misses daddy and Rachael too. Did you keep to our bargain?"

She nodded, "I stay with daddy all through. Even when he was going to the toilet..." she moved closer to Lola, "...I made sure to follow him."

Samuel smiled at the conspiracy against him. But he loved both his girls, so he let them go.

After dinner and ensuring Rachael was safely tucked in her room, they went to theirs. Laura wasn't home; something about a late-night date. Samuel could guess who it was with, but he didn't mention anything. He only teased her until she left. The moment Lola sat on the bed to get ready to sleep, he pulled her in for a hug. She didn't resist, as she had been craving his touch all day.

"I'm glad. I'm so happy to see you back safe. It wasn't until you are gone that I started blaming myself for letting you go. I wished I did not decide to follow that plan now. The more I think about it, the more dangerous it seems to me, and honestly, Lola, I'm a coward. I'm not ready to lose anyone I love again. I don't think I can deal with the aftermath if anything happened to you, I swear."

She sighed, "Nothing is going to happen, Sam. The only thing that will happen will be us handling this sick fucker to the police."

Samuel didn't agree. Since he lost his wife, he believed nothing was predictable. If they were, his wife was supposed to be alive; they would probably have three children now. He was supposed to die before her because he had thought he would die without her.

He was alive years later without her, in love with another woman. He shook his head, "I just hope you are right. I hope so, Lola."

He kissed her. At first, it was to be sure she was truly with him in this room and assure himself that everything would be alright. Together, they would win this battle – if it can be called that. Soon, he got enthralled in the kiss, pulling her closer. He wanted to consume her. He wanted to touch and feel every part of her and know that this thing he felt for her was real because it drove him crazy.

He never thought he would feel sexually attracted to another woman after Lara, but what he felt for Lola at the moment couldn't be classified as ordinary. It was impossible to call wanting to see nothing but yourself being deeply buried inside someone else ordinary.

He had no idea when she had come to mean so much to him. But he rather hurt than see her hurt. His hand moved down, and soon, they were discarding their wear.

Tonight, he was going to forget everything and lose himself in her.

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