Shh, Just Kiss Me (18+)

f o u r t y ♡

"We have to stop," he says calmly. Double-thinking if I should obey his command made me ponder. His face looked like pure caramel, and his happiness looked forced. I could tell that he didn't want me to go no matter how hard he tried to. I don't know what was keeping me from leaving him but he was like a gravitational pull that kept sucking me back in.

"Shh, just kiss me." I whisper, stripping off his shirt.

"Jaide." He pulls me closer creating this non-existent space between us. Immediately, I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Hm-" he cuts me off with another kiss. My eyes flitted shut as the wind vigorously blew through my open windows. His fingers created friction on the surface of my neck that made the sensation between my legs simmer between the lips.

He pushes his back on my bedroom door as it opens. He turns me around with his hands buried in my hair. His foot closes the door shut and by now I have been under his spell, his command.

"Matt, what are we doing? We can't do this anymore." I whispered, pulling back away from the kiss.

He shushes me with his finger on my lips.

"I love you and I want to make love to you." He opens up my blouse with force. He carries me towards the bed and holds me until we both collapse on it. He savagely kisses my neck like he wanted to suck my blood.

"Mmm, Jaide baby." He groans, sexually teasing me.

"I hate you right now." I cry out in pleasure because he's making me feel good.

_____

I woke up mentally unprepared to face Matt. I had sex with him. Why?

I have to admit, he had me. I was crushing hard all over again. I didn't think it would go that far but it happened and I can't turn back time.

I was sitting on the counter in my jammies eating cereal watching G.I JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO.

How foolish of me. Why didn't I stop when I had the chance.

I can't tell Damon. We're not officially together so technically this isn't bad. Right?

I feel like I've already hurt him and he doesn't even know. The sad thing is, I have to see his face again Monday morning and pretend I'm still his innocent little fuck.

He turned me this way. I was never like this. He made me addicted. I don't think I am addicted but I think about sex a lot more often after I lost my virginity to him.

He's gonna be mad at me. It's all my fault. I had no appetite left so I gave up on chewing my cereal.

Matt had already left because he went to go see his manager.

I don't know for sure if I'm in love with Damon. Am I in love with the fun? I feel like I am because I'm living my life. I do deep down inside have strong feelings for Damon. Now that Matt's back in my life, I don't know how I'm going to live with myself.

It was easy dealing with Damon but now Matthew wants my heart and I can't just say no after what we did.

It'll destroy him. But I want Damon more than I want him.

I sent him a text.

We need to talk.
___

We met up at a coffee shop a couple blocks down where I live.

He seemed happy. He was smiling and rubbing my hands. He was was being all ditsy and cute.

I was all in for it until I had to get somethings off my chest. I slid my hand down my thighs.