Your Touch

chapter 5

At exactly 7.30am we stood at the bus stop and waited. I really tried not to but I ended up feeling excitement crawling up inside my stomach as I saw the bus coming around the corner.

We quickly got on the bus, seeing that it was just as empty as the day before. The front seats were empty again so we sat down and I put in my earphones.

Every time the bus stopped I caught myself looking over to the bus doors. The forth time I did this people actually got on. Some students who were apparently older than me walked past us, also a black haired boy which immediately caught my attention. I suddenly had a weird feeling which spread from my stomach to all my bones.

I thought about greeting him or smile at him or something but I ended up doing nothing and just got a little nod from his side as he spotted me. I could've known better, after all he just ignored me after being friendly which still confused me but whatever.

Throughout the bus ride I constantly felt eyes on the back of my head again.

Once I turned around to check if someone was really staring at me and looked right into Yoongi's mesmerizing, nearly black eyes. He sat maybe 5 rows away on the other side of the bus and locked eyes with me.

I felt like I was falling, I couldn't feel my feet suddenly, I didn't know where that came from.
Our eyes still locked so I quickly looked away while blushing hard.

How long did I exactly stare now holy shit...

Well long enough for Jess to tease me again. She wiggled her eyebrows at me while I just slightly shook my head and pinched her arm. But she just giggled at that action.

Soon we arrived at our school, being earlier than we should. As I got out of the bus I tried hard not to make eye contact with Yoongi. 

When I came to the entrance of our school I already spotted Lisa and Hoseok waving at me.
I said goodbye to Jess and walked towards them. In the moment I arrived Lisa wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly which made me squeeze my eyes together against my will.

"Oh hey... Lisa I missed you too but I'm not that... hugging-type of girl you know?", I nervously said.
"Hmpf", she let go of me and pouted.

As I looked around slightly embarrassed, I saw Yoongi leaning against the lockers across the hallway, eyeing me while raising an eyebrow.

"Well okayy", Lisa quickly said smiling at me and Hoseok again. I felt so endlessly awkward.   
Why can't I just relax god dammit...

I really envy Jess for not being damaged in a mental way like me. Of course she carries around the same horrifying memories as me. But I am carrying around the fear of being touched  or  having a closer bonding with people and no matter how much I reminded myself of the fact that I have to trust other people, I couldn't overcome that fear.

"By the way! I forgot to tell you two! You would also have Biology in the first two lessons am I right?", Lisa suddenly spoke up. Hoseok and I nodded simultaneously.

"Our teacher is ill and no other teacher is available at the moment so we have two free lessons!", she happily explained. "Really?", Hoseok asked excitedly, "shall we go somewhere?" Lisa nodded in agreement before both of them looked at me with a questioning face.

"Uuh.. no thanks I think I'll just take a walk around the school or something but have fun!", I told them before I gave Lisa a slight wink. She smiled at me, took his hand and left.

I could've just slept for two more hours, I thought slightly annoyed.
Of course I didn't really know what to do alone in this school for two hours but I decided to go outside.

The day before I already saw that outside of the school were some kind of gardens and a little path which led through them. At the side of the path were some benches here and there. I decided to sit down on a bench placing my bag on the floor. From that place you could see all those gardens with numerous pretty and colourful flowers.

I pulled the book I was currently reading out of my bag and leaned back to relax a bit. After maybe, I don't know, 15 minutes passed I heard some steps and chuckles which didn't really bother me.

I continued reading as I suddenly saw two pairs of shoes appearing at the upper side of my book.

Slowly I looked up facing two boys. Both of them were blonde and obviously way taller than me. One of them was a bit smaller than the other one but still much taller than me.

They smirked at me while I just nervously slid around on the bench trying to ignore them.

"Hey pretty girl, you must be new", the smaller boy said smiling mischievous.

"Y-Yes...", I answered shortly hating myself for stuttering again.

"Aww don't be so shy baby", the guy said while sitting down next to me wrapping his right arm around my waist, the taller boy just watched us.

I dropped my book and started to shiver. "S-stop touching me", I whispered trying not to cry.

"P-please let... let go of me", I whined as he didn't react.
But the boys just smirked amused. "Why? Don't you like it baby girl?", he whispered in my ear while moving his hand down to my ass to pull me even closer. I could feel his disgusting breath at my ear and my neck.
My whole body started trembling and shaking because of his dirty hands touching me.

"I said stop touching me!",
I whimpered desperately while I felt like I was on fire but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't move away from him. It was like I lost control over my body in that moment.

I tightly squeezed my eyes together and heard my sister crying and screaming for our mom as tears start to roll down my cheeks.