Your Touch

chapter 38

"So.. first of all isn't it way too fast? I only know her for like four months, yes we are dating but that doesn't necessarily mean that she feels the same, I mean like... why should she love me? I am a fucking failure, nothing in my life is good for her, every guy that comes around the corner is a better guy than me, she has her own past, her own problems why would she take another problem? It just wouldn't make fucking sense... I don't even know if it's really... love I'm feeling."

It was silent for a few seconds.

"I didn't know you've had all of this bottled up inside of you...", Jin quietly said.

"But let me clear some things. First of all, you, just you can decide if it's too fast or not. If you really love her and she loves you, there's no problem. There wouldn't have been a problem if you told each other the first month after you met. I don't know if I ever did this but let me tell you my special story with Namjoon. We are a couple, we've loved each other for nearly six years now. But guess how we met", Jin paused and glanced over to Namjoon who was nodding softly.

"It was in a club. That evening, I didn't know why but I got so damn drunk, I ended up making out with Namjoon in a dressing room. So as the night ended, he drove me home as the gentleman he was... is, I was living alone, told him my adress and he carried me to my apartment. Because I couldn't stand upright he had to bring me to bed. I didn't really care that I only met him a few hours ago, he was nice and I was drunk. But as he tugged the blanket over me and made sure I was comfortable, my drunk ass said something I don't regret today, even though it was weird and not something everyone would say to someone they only met hours ago. I said: 'Handsome maan... youmake me fall for you rlly hard righnoww'", he paused again and smiled while remembering the memory.

"Now we are together but from the first day on my drunk ass... I knew that I loved him. You see, our love story isn't perfect. To be honest, such things as perfect lovestories don't exist. It's practically just a lie those romances try to sell us. Everyone has their own weights to lift. But in order to love, you have to lift their weights too. Every relationship has a backstory. And if you see the result, it's the backstory that makes your love story perfect. It means... even though you've had your downs, you can still end up happy and love each other, just like Namjoon and me. What I am trying to say is, you aren't a failure, you're good for (Y/N), you understand her feelings, because she also had a backstory similar to yours. When you're ready, tell her how you feel. I got to know (Y/N) over the last months and if she thought about you like you do, she would've already left you. Don't think so low about yourself.
Remember, it's the result and how you share your weights that really matters for a perfect love story."

I was dumbfounded for some time.

"Wow Jin... t-thank you", I smiled, feeling kinda exhausted.

"I never knew you were an actual advice-giving-mom type of person", and again I was dumbfounded.

"That's one of the many reasons I love him", Namjoon pecked his cheek, making Jin giggle.

"Okay, mom, dad, I'm gonna leave you alone now, I still have one more class", I gave them a soft smile.

"Yoongi?", Jin spoke once more, "Think about what I said."

"Thank you", I nodded before turning around and leaving to the direction I came from.

In order to love, you have to lift their weights too...

I took a glance at my phone and saw that I only had ten minutes left before our englisch class would start. And... I saw one missed call and two messages from (Y/N).

Naah fuck I forgot to tell her...

But luckily the park wasn't that far away from our school and I arrived in five minutes by taking the bus. Quickly I walked over to my class where I already saw (Y/N) waiting. She was still alone in the classroom so I just decided to scare her I don't know why but every time she's startled she is just adorable.

I'm too soft already to change anything about it now...

I tiptoed over to (Y/N) who was facing the window, looking like she was lost in thoughts. As I was standing behind her she suddenly turned her head, scaring me, but it was just because of a guy walking through the hallway, passing our classroom. She turned around to the window again as an idea popped up in my head. I leaned over her right shoulder, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

She jumped in her seat, quickly turning around to me, making me smirk at her reaction.

"Oh my god why are you always sneaking up like this?", she laughed with me.

"I just wanted to surprise you", I pouted jokingly and sat down next to her. It was funny to think about how she backed up a few months ago but now, she came a little nearer while chuckling.

"Anyways, where were you? I waited for you", she now said in a more serious tone.

Shit... I just let her wait for me, that's what I mean I'm such an asshole...

"Oh right.. sorry I totally forgot to tell you but I needed to do something", I shortly answered, not knowing how to explain that I couldn't even send her a text because not even I knew why I couldn't have done that.

"Is everything okay? You seem off", she asked me with a frown forming on her face.

"Yeah yeah everything's alright, don't think about it", I nodded while giving her a smirk again.

In that english lesson we also watched a movie, which was boring as fuck though. So (Y/N) and I only talked throughout the whole lesson.

As it was finally over we headed towards the bus stop.

As soon as we got nearer to the bus stop my heart began beating faster out of whatever reason. I wanted to say something before leaving the bus, I didn't know why but I had a weird feeling that I needed to ask once before getting off.

"Promise me we'll meet often in the break okay? Otherwise...", I paused and looked to the side, trying to avoid eye contact because what I was about to say was really too cheesy, it was that fluffy puffy rainbow shit I hated so much.

"I will miss you."

She looked confused at first but then smiled softly and cutely.

"I promise", she said before I left the bus.

And the break can start...

•••••
Btw I just thought this was funny bcs it's 261 162 you know lol

And also I really didn't expect this book to become THIS long bitch idek how many chapters I'll need till I can come to an end but anyways I hope you'll enjoy and read it till the very end :)

See yaaaa