Second Snapshot (Picture This Sequel: Niall Horan)

-Promise me. [Chapter 26]

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX- Promise me.

“And you’re sure,” Dr.Brown repeated for about the fifth time as I stuffed my last bottle of tablets into my messenger bag. “That you’re going to be alright on your own? You will be on your own, won’t you?”

He questioned frowning slightly as he tapped his pen against his ever present clipboard. I sighed inwardly leaning back against the wall and stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my hoodie. I shook my head chewing on my lower lip as I did so supressing the smile that accompanied the thought of spending the next few days and nights with Niall.

“For the next few nights I’ll be staying with my boyfriend and then I’ll have to fly back out to New York and-“

“Whoa, you’re flying to America?”

He questioned seeming shocked by this, almost as if I had just told him I was planning to bomb down the London Eye or something next week.

“Yeah…I work there. I have to go back to work.”

“Oh no, no no.”

Dr.Brown vigorously shook his head coming forwards he placed his hands on my shoulders gazing down at me.

“There will be no work for you sweetie; did you not read your outpatient summary? You’re on a strict lifestyle plan, love. You’re lucky we’re letting you go this early; normally we’d keep people as critical as you in for at least a week or two. We’re going to have you on one of our strictest and most intense treatment plans and there is no way that can work if you’re in America.”

This, had to be some of the worst news that had come with this whole ordeal. No work? No America? Work and my home in NYC are my life now, besides Niall and there was no way I was going to let this hold me back, was there? I felt so helpless, like whatever I said would be out-ruled because he was a doctor, somebody I couldn’t lie to about my health and convince that I would be fine if I just did this or just went there. It was almost as if now I felt all walls of my eating dis-order caving in on me, folding themselves into each other getting thicker and stronger each time, it was horrible. Frightening even. This was what I hated about it being like this all those years ago and now I was re-living this hell. How restricted you were, how you were told to live your life, you basically had all rights of freedom taken away from you, boxed away and locked with a key that was chucked away and they wouldn’t let you find it until you resolved your issue. I loathed this in fact, control was what kept me held together, I loved being in control and letting someone else take the reins again and give me my set lifestyle was unthinkable. I’d done it once and only a matter of months ago I regained my control. And now I was having it ripped away from me again all because I let myself fall in this far.

“B-But I have to go back to work.”

I retorted already sensing the refusal I was going to receive I felt my heart sink a little. Work was such a good distraction, it kept me occupied and most of all, gave me an excuse for my uneven eating patterns. But I guess now there really is no excuses, it is what it is. He shook his head, still frowning down and me.

“No, you have to concentrate on getting better. I’m sorry Ashley, but your health should come first, always.”

Niall had said this to me so many times but it was always easier with him to distract from the subject and slowly veer him off of his lectures of me working too much and not eating enough. But here, it was so blunt, there was nowhere to hide anymore, but when you’ve been hiding for so long maybe the same old thing gets old, but that doesn’t mean the process to the new one isn’t just as scary.

“When can I go back to work then?”

“When you’re better.”

I didn’t know what to say to this, it wasn’t like I was particularly comfortable with talking about it still. It was always something that was there but never discussed, apart from a few conversations with Niall I never spoke about it with anyone which is probably why now speaking about it so casually and like this should all be familiar but seemed so foreign.