Second Snapshot (Picture This Sequel: Niall Horan)

-Change. [Chapter 48]

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT- Change.

Niall’s POV:

I stared at myself in the mirror and tweaked with my hair this way and that. I didn’t know why I was so bothered about how I looked; I wasn’t usually. After realising that my hair did not exactly provide a lot of options for variety I sighed staring back at myself, but it didn’t even look like me. It was almost as if I couldn’t recognise myself anymore. Without her, without this relationship, without telling her I loved and missed her every day. Ever since she sprung this break ordeal on me, I haven’t felt myself. Of course I was forced to continue with my normal, busy and hectic routine but I just put a lot less effort into it now. Well into everything, actually. I shoved my hands into my pockets as I looked around the empty auditorium. I was supposed to be enthusiastic, I normally was for concerts but today, or any of the times since she broke things off ‘for now’ I just haven’t been feeling, well, anything.

Suddenly the familiar beats were sounding through the speakers; all around. It was surrounding me. It was if it was mocking me, someone was mocking me. I looked up and around me closing my eyes as I tried to tune it out but it was too loud, etching itself into my nerves it was just this one song, these lyrics, these memories that tugged on my heartstrings. Hard.

Hear these lyrics, here them loud. Remember all those memories? Remember all those clouds? Are you feeling broken yet? Are you feeling sad, maybe if you are, the girl might be glad.

I couldn’t shake this petty little rhyme that had been stuck in my brain for a few weeks now, ever since I read it, scrawled on that piece of paper with that CD attached. It was still so clear to me, coming home from rehearsals, going to the kitchen and suddenly finding that key, that key from that night on the worktop but then there’s this note. With that rhyme on it, signed by, and I quote, Your worst nightmare. At first I was creeped out, I suppose I still am. I played the CD, within half a second I knew the tune, the beat and I could almost feel my fingers working their way across the strings. And then it stops, scratchy and to a halt followed by fuzz and crackle and then complete silence.

Now, I could feel my lips moulding the shapes to the lyrics, it was all so fresh in my mind. The feel of her arms around my neck, her lips grazing mine as we swapped verses between each other. Her voice was far from perfect, but to me, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. The same way as she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And as it glided over the words as she sung them so quietly and softly against my mouth I knew right then that she was the one for me. But that was all before I screwed up, before things went so wrong. I kept my eyes shut tight as the words played through my mind so effortlessly in her voice; I could almost feel her lips grazing mine. And then it played again, who was playing this? When did this get put on the playlist? Was this some kind of non-humorous joke?

We’ll do it all,

Everything,

On our own.

We don’t need,

Anything,

Or anyone.

If I lay here, if I just lay here.

Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?

I could already feel the tears igniting in my eyes even as I kept them tight shut against the world, against the empty space before me. Against the speakers echoing the lyrics into every single crack and crevice in here, every corner, every heart, every eardrum, they were sure playing loud enough for everyone to hear. Nobody understood- no matter how much I tried to try to vent it to them, to anyone, how much this song meant to me, but not even to me, to us, to Ashley and I they wouldn’t understand. It’s just a song, Niall, it doesn’t mean anything. But it does, it means so much more than anyone knows. It’s not just a song; it was basically the soundtrack to our relationship. The lyrics were simple, repetitive, but if you look in between the lines, they are so full of meaning. It was everything that Ashley and I were about, the words I love you never being enough. Never being able to express the feelings towards each other.