My Neighbors the YouTubers (A danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil fanfiction)

Chapter 11: Existential Crisis

*Phil POV*

Dan was silently in his room, probably not wanting to be bothered. It had been a few hours and I was hungry for lunch. I didn't feel like making anything, and judging by Dan's absence and lack of social interaction with me, he probably didn't either.

"Dan!" I yelled across the flat, "I'm going to go out and get some sandwiches and bring them back here. Do you want to come?"

There was no answer. He obviously wanted to be left alone.

"I'll be back. See you later."

I exited the flat, locking the door behind me and went down several flights of stairs before going outside. It was now no longer raining, but partly cloudy so that the sun shown through a hole in the clouds.

As I was walking through the puddly streets of London, no one seemed to notice me. No one really recognized who I was like people recognized Dan. It didn't really bother me. Dan and I were best friends and I couldn't be jealous of him. Sometimes, though, it did bother me. Fans of his seemed to always be around wanting to take pictures with him. Sometimes fans of his also noticed me, but they seemed to know of me because of Dan. I wasn't jealous though. Dan was my best friend and a great guy, why shouldn't he get attention. He deserved it more than anything. And I had plenty of fans. It was never a competition.

I arrived at the sandwich shop, Dan and my favorite lunch place. After cuing for a while I ordered my usual sandwich for me and Dan's favorite too. They were put together in front of my eyes and wrapped up. The lady who made our sandwiches gave me a smile as she kindly handed me them both.

As I was walking back, my phone buzzed in my pocket:

Is Dan okay? -Rachel

I stopped in my tracks and stared down at my phone, typing a message of confusion:

What do you mean? I'm not home right now. Is something wrong? -Phil

Check his Twitter. I don't know if I should be concerned or not. -R

Thanks, Rachel. I will. -P

No problem :) -R

I opened Twitter and went to @danisnotonfire.

I just want the world to leave me alone right now. Bye.

Many people tweeted back with question marks, support and frowny faces. Most of them tweeted questions saying:

Who's your girlfriend?

Who is the girl?

I can't believe you lied to your fans.

Some of the tweets had a picture. I clicked the link to see what it was. That's when I saw a picture of Dan and Rachel earlier under his umbrella.

I immediately turned off my phone screen and put it in my pocket. I quickly walked as fast as I could home. This wasn't good. Dan, you'll be okay, I promise.

*Dan POV*

I ignored my laptop which I had hid under my bed. I had put my phone in my sock drawer too. Sometimes the internet went too far. I wanted it to leave me alone. I wanted it to leave her alone.

I rolled over on my bed to look at the ceiling, where I stared blankly at it feeling confused and slightly angry. I didn't know why I was so particularly bothered this time, but I was.

Are you okay? -Rachel

It was a notification I left alone and hadn't opened. I didn't want to talk to her. She probably saw all the internet drama that had happened. I didn't care what she had to say about it. I didn't want to hear it.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, "Dan?" Phil said in a sweet, serious voice. He must've heard too.

I didn't respond.

"Dan, please let me in."

"Fine. What is it?"

Phil turned the doorknob and walked in. I didn't look at him. "I brought you a sandwich."

"I'm not hungry," I said sternly.

"Dan, I saw what happened."

I turned on my side, half on my face sunk into the pillow. I didn't know what to say, but I looked at him as he looked back at me with his concerned face.

"What about it?" I asked him with a dead tone of voice that I hardly recognized to be my own.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I quickly responded and pouted.

"You like her don't you?"

I looked at him in shock. Phil was never this straightforward. The corners of my mouth turned downwards and my face turned red. I turned my face away from him.

"You can't like someone you just met. It's not possible. I don't even know her."

"Well, maybe you don't like her, but something about her makes you curious and happy. I can tell."

"I can't like her," I said flatly, closing my eyes.

"What?"

"The fans, Phil. Half of them want to date me and the other half of them want me to date you. If I show any liking toward Rachel the whole fandom will explode. Like today, you saw what happened. The fandom is almost split over a little thing. I just want things to be easy. It's not going to be easy on her, either. Jealous girls everywhere are going to torture her. They will. And she did nothing to ask for it. She doesn't have a YouTube because she's afraid of fans causing drama. I've put her into my own drama, Phil. She didn't ask for it. Her own fears have come alive but even worse."

"But you could maybe-"

"No, Phil. There's no way to go around this."

"You could let them get used to the idea. Give them a chance."

"I've put Rachel through enough. I don't even know her or know that I like her. If I hang out with her more I'm risking hurting her and I may not even like her. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life now. I'm not even sure I like myself at all."

I turned to look at Phil who was listening intently to what I had been saying.

"Well, if you're sure," Phil said. "But you won't avoid her, will you?"

"I'll do whatever I can to keep her from being hurt, even if it means keeping her from me." I almost frowned and smiled at the same time, "Thanks, Phil, for always being here for me."

"What are friends for?" Phil smiled at me. "If you don't want the sandwich I could always make you hot cocoa or tea."

"I'll take the sandwich, thanks," I said, feeling just a little bit better.

I wanted to make Rachel happy, but I knew she could never be happy with me. She was going to uni soon and she had a life to live. She could live without being bothered by my fans if I just didn't talk to her from then on. I would want to hang out with her in private, but then I would want to take her places. I would have to avoid the girl from the flat next door, no matter what. I didn't want to, but I had to.