My Neighbors the YouTubers (A danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil fanfiction)

Chapter 27: Avoidance and Anxiety

*Rachel POV*

I woke up cold, a stiff arm hanging out of the bedsheets. I tried to curl up into a twisted burrito of blankets, but I still somehow felt a lack of warmth. I felt emptiness. I stared forward with wide eyes, already awake as if I didn't sleep. I didn't want to feel this way.

I willed myself out of the bed that I looked at longingly before pulling on jeans, a sweater, a jacket, and a scarf. It was really getting chillier these days of late October. I pulled on boots, inspected my face in the mirror and exhaled in some sort of response to myself.

I left the flat and trekked down the steps and then began the long difficult journey to the university.

"Hey!" Mike greeted me, walking over to me at the spot we usually came across each other.

"Hi," I said in a small voice.

He walked closer to me. I felt myself back away uncomfortably, "I haven't seen you in a while! Did you enjoy the party?"

Did he know I left late? I thought to myself. He must've not. He was pretty drunk, after all. "It was great," I spat out, gulping afterwards. I felt coldness quickly shift through my body, and I clung onto my sleeves with my fingertips.

"Don't sound so unsure," he smiled. "Was everything alright."

"It was excellent," shakiness sped through my voice. "Thanks for inviting me."

I started walking quickly, not wanting to talk about it again. I sped past him and entered the university literature building. I sat down in my usual seat, overwhelmed somehow from even the mentioning of the party.

"Hey Rachel, where's Mike? Don't you usually walk in with him?" Christina's voice spoke beside me. I jumped in my seat in shock. She laughed, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yes. Um. Sorry. I'm afraid I must've passed him on the way here. My bad." Bad lie, bad lie.

"Oh okay," Christina said, who met up with Kevin at the collection of desks they generally sat at.

The door opened and with a gust of wind, Mike walked in. Papers flew at the door's opening and some students desperately tried to hold them down.

Kevin and Christina waved at Mike. I went into panic mode.

The professor walked in and everyone promptly sat down.

...

Class was over.

I tried to collect my papers and books in my hands, but mostly ended up dropping things and picking them back up again and again. I heard the familiar chatter of my friends come closer and closer.

I wanted to scream.

"Hey Rachel, why'd you run off earlier?" Mike asked in a light, kind tone.

I didn't say anything.

"You saw her earlier? She said she didn't see you before class."

I didn't say anything.

"Rachel?"

"I better be going."

"Wait-"

But I ran off.

I couldn't understand why, but just seeing their faces brought me to feel very nervous, very vulnerable, and very empty. I didn't want to feel this way.

Sorry for not uploading in so long. I've had a massive writer's block and general confusion about life. Love you all. Thank you for reading. Please excuse my lack of schedule in uploading chapters.