My Neighbors the YouTubers (A danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil fanfiction)

Chapter 25: That Night

*Dan POV: Responsibility*

People often wonder why I pace in my room at 4 AM in the morning. Nights like this one was the reason for a lot of them.

I had felt completely confused and helpless in my life recently. I felt the need to always be there and have responsibility for others. Some part of me wanted no responsibility, and believed that I couldn't be responsible if I tried, so that I should hide from everything. Without me being there, I felt people got hurt, but being there, I also hurt others.

Some part of me just wanted to be better. The other part of me just wanted me to have never existed.

Phil was much better now, but still had some faded bruises and couldn't work too hard with his head injury. He and I couldn't make videos. I had been too moody, and he was all injured looking. Fans were getting upset. Rachel didn't tweet as much as she used to either, and never uploaded her video.

But Rachel? Who knows what could've happened? I tiptoed out of my room and looked at her in the darkness as she slept. She fidgeted in her sleep, which made me think she was having a nightmare. What horrors had she seen? What did the person do to her? Who was the person who did that to her?

I walked back to my room and fell face first on my bed, moaning loudly into the covers, creating a muffled hum-like sound.

I felt like the world was trying to tell me two things, or to make a choice somehow. I had to be better, cope with my current horrible existence, or stop existing. To be better sounded like the best option, but what if I failed? What if I couldn't be responsible? What if my world was collapsing around me, and I couldn't do a thing about it?

I thought about Rachel all crumpled up on the sofa bed in the other room like a folded piece of paper, helpless. I knew if there was a way I could've prevented it, I would. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to protect all my friends, and to be an overall better human being, so that's what I decided. Even if it didn't work, I had to try.

I didn't want to run away from who I was anymore. Other people didn't deserve it. I wasn't helping them by doing that anyway.

I wanted to be by her side. I didn't want to see her hurt, no matter what. I would protect her. I would be responsible.

"Rachel," I whispered into the ceiling,"I won't leave you alone again."

...

*Phil POV: Change*

Things were changing, and I could definitely tell that they were. Ever since I was hurt, Dan had gotten more quiet and angry. Rachel had disappeared again, and I knew they got into a fight.

Now Rachel was hurt and everything seemed chaotic. I wanted things to be okay again. I really cared for Dan, he was my best friend. Then I had never known a girl as nice as Rachel. Somehow they didn't get along, and I couldn't see why not. I wanted them to as my friends, but what could I do?

Things were separating quickly, and I hoped they would come together, but I was afraid they wouldn't.

I shuffled in my bedsheets and found it hard to fall asleep, but my tiredness soon overpowered my worry and I drifted into dreams.

*Rachel POV: Fear*

I was afraid of being here in the dark of Dan and Phil's game room. I couldn't seem to get to sleep. My mind swam with memories of the party and what occurred. I shuffled nervously as I relived every moment.

It wasn't a big deal what happened, right? Why was I freaking out so much?

Then Dan and Phil were always a comfort to me, so why was I now terrified.

I guess I just wanted to not have to deal with anything. I wanted to not be afraid of any human being and what they might do to me.

Part of me wanted to rest in Dan's arms and cry and work it all out, but the other part wanted to leave this whole place and not risk another problem with Dan or anyone. But I had already escaped to England to avoid my ex boyfriend. How many problems could I really avoid?

I had another flashback to the guy at the party. I tried to imagine Dan making it all okay. But just as Dan reached for a hug, I could see him tearing my shirt off. I screamed internally. Dan wouldn't do that, I promised myself. Somehow, though, I didn't want anyone to touch me every again. Somehow, I felt they would violate me. It didn't make sense, but I was afraid.

I was afraid of everything, really. Not like scary movies or ghost stories, but afraid of real life and everything aspect of it.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard footsteps. They stopped and I felt someone standing over me. I struggled a bit as I feared that person attacking me. The footsteps walked away. I recognized the person as Dan. That was how Dan walked. Those were his footsteps.

I didn't sleep that night.