My Neighbors the YouTubers (A danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil fanfiction)

Chapter 22: Silence

*Rachel POV*

I woke up feeling cold and stiff, remembering I hadn't slept in a bed. I sat up and stretched out, almost falling off the chair. I looked around. Dan was gone, the room was silent. I looked out the window perpendicular to me, which made up the entirety of the wall. The sun was up, but the sky was a cool light gray. I heard Phil make a noise in his sleep across the room. I smiled.

I felt extremely tired, so that my face almost ached of tiredness. I yawned a bit loudly, but the room remained silent. Maybe it was time to get some breakfast.

I walked sleepily out of Phil's hospital room and hiked down the many floors of stairs. On the bottom floor I found a little cafe, which surprised me. That I found something without getting lost, I mean.

Through the glass walls in the front of the cafe, I saw Dan sitting in the far corner. He looked down at a table with a sad expression. I wanted to cheer him up, but part of me wanted to run away and not bother him. My stomach screamed. No, you're almost twenty years old. You can't be doing this.

I decided to casually walk into the cafe and order a drink and pretend he wasn't there, like I didn't see him. If he wanted to talk to me he could.

I walked in and avoided looking in his general direction. "One Earl Grey tea, please," I told the cashier who nodded silently. He was just as tired as I was, so I smiled, feeling somewhat relatable. I handed him a few pounds, and he gave me some change in return.

"It'll be just a moment," the cashier said as he started making his way to the hot water, where he poured it in a cup and submerged a tea bag in it.

I made my way to the pick up drink area, where I took my drink. "Have a nice day," the tired guy said in a low, monotone tone.

I responded in the same tired voice, "Thanks, you too."

I sat down the adjacent corner to Dan, as par as I could go. I blowed on my tea silently. I searched my pocket for my phone, and remembered that I left abruptly last night, so I didn't have it. I sighed quietly and searched the room for a clock. Luckily, there was one. It was just 7:30.

"Thank you," I heard Dan say to the guy behind the counter. I looked up in recognition of his voice. He walked out of the shop and my eyes followed him. Our eyes met, and my expression was met with his upset one for just a second.

I sunk back into my seat while feeling incredibly embarrassed. I wanted to hide, but I didn't want things to be this way either.

I finished my tea eventually, where I looked at the bottom of my cup in disappointment. "Thank you," I said to the cashier. He nodded once again in reply.

I climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to Phil's room. From outside the door, I heard talking. Dan and Phil's voices could be heard from the other side. I hesitated as I grabbed onto the handle of the door. Then I breathed to calm myself and entered.

"Rachel, you're here!" I heard Phil exclaim. He was leaning back, but was mostly sat up. He was almost as excitable as always. I smiled, and felt happier than ever that he was awake.

"I am," I agreed with him, trying to match his enthusiasm, but failing as I sounded a bit weak.

I looked over at Dan, who didn't say a word, and was looking in the opposite direction. There was a brief silence.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Phil with a smile.

"I'm fine! I haven't really moved yet, and my head feels slightly weird, but I'm doing okay."

"I'm glad to hear it," I said to him. I opened my mouth, almost asking him about what happened last night, but decided I should leave that to another time, if I would ask at all. I didn't want to have to relive whatever happened.

There was more silence. Phil looked at me and then Dan and then me again. "Are you guys okay?"

Dan was silent.

"Of course," I tried smiling my best. "Everything's fine. Sorry."

I clenched my hands together as I folded them uncomfortably in front of me. Dan doesn't want you here. Just leave. You're making things worse. You don't belong.

"I better go," I gulped, holding my breath a bit as I tried to make my voice sound normal. "I have homework, and I'm also going to upload a video. I decided to become a YouTuber yesterday. I'll tell you more about it later, Phil." I attempted a smile that was all too fake, being too worried about things to be genuine.

"Oh okay! Bye! Please come by our flat tomorrow so we can talk about it! I'll be home this evening, the doctor says."

"Alright, I'm sure I will," I responded, "Thanks, Phil. See you."

I shut the door briskly behind me and began walking unnaturally fast. I also ran into a few nurses, but I wanted to get to my flat as soon as possible.

You're in the way. It won't work out. You don't belong. This will only be a repeat. This whole thing will be like Michael all over again.

I collapsed on the couch as soon as I got home, and covered my face with my hands. I didn't want to exist at the moment.