The Sapphic Christmas

4th December. part 2

Ella

Finally, I'm going to spend all day at home and do some chores. I sort out the mess in the bedroom and dressing room, put all the plates and mugs in their places in the kitchen, and by 1p.m. I realize that I've nothing to do. So I'm going to make a video for my main channel. What haven't I done for a long time, but everyone always asks? That's right, Q&A, but I don't feel like asking for questions via Instagram. However, I already have a database of questions: Sophie. She's asked me quite a lot of questions, which I either forgot to answer (this sometimes happens), or we changed the subject faster than I had time to figure out. I think my follower have same questions.

I was so anxious when the girl said that she had watched my videos. This is unusual for me to hear, because I used to divide work and life into two separate parts, incompatible. Sometimes people watch my videos and think they know everything about my life. Well, they know a lot, but it's not whole picture. Moreover, I know nothing about them. So I always draw line her. Sophie has mixed it. Apart from my videoblogger friends, no one from my inner circle watches my videos. Even parents turn it on only on holidays, or if I offer them something important to watch.

I roughly write some of the questions down on a piece of paper and start filming. Nothing much happens, to be honest. For me, it has already become a habit, which no longer causes fear and excitement. When I finish, I text to a friend, warning that I would slightly delay the release of the video that we shot together. Actually, this's a bit awkward, but I just want to post the Q&A as soon as possible. It's more interesting, in my opinion, there aren't standard questions, but those that a person asks when they first meet another person. It's valuable, in my opinion. Anyway, this video can tell new people on my channel about who I am, and for those subscribers who have been watching my videos for a long time, to tell a little more about my life. I think that it makes us closer. Personally, I believe that the connection between subscribers and the content creator is very important. It's the same as being friends, only you don't know each other personally.

After shooting I have nothing to do. Sophie's told me about her hometown, and I want to see what it's like. It seems strange to me just to offer to meet now, so I just say I'm. Fortunately, Sophie's free.

We agree to meet at a pizzeria. I haven't had pizza in a long time. I feel pure happiness by the smell of it. Due to the fact that I have arrived much earlier than Sophie, the waiter has already managed to come up several times and ask if I'm ready to order. As if they haven't heard my words that I'm waiting for a friend. However, there's an upside to this wait: I film one of the biggest parts of my vlog that day. There're almost only time-lapses of me, cleaning the house today. So, I talk about mental health. It won't be easy for some people to spend holidays with their families, to make plans for the next year. It's hard to be surrounded be the festive mood, if they're depressed. I get it. Some years ago, I felt same way. It sucked, but it gets better. I'm sorry that many teenagers and young adults forget to take care of themselves, especially before exams, tests, during the holidays.

"Hi. I'm sorry I'm late." Soph says as she sits next to me. She looks somehow joyful and worried at the same time. Her cheeks and nose are red, she constantly bites her lips. "Have you ordered yet?"

"No, I was waiting for you. How was your day?"

"It could be better." She shrugs. "And your?"

"Not bad."

"Do you want me to show you something that you'll definitely like?" The girl manages to intrigue me with one sentence, but I nod, hiding my excitement.  "Look." She holds out the phone with... my photo. It has been taken few minutes ago. I rarely like myself in random photos that I can't prepare for, but this's one of the few.

"Wow, I like it, thanks." She smiles. We make an order. Somehow, we return to the topic of my videos.

"When did you start decorating your apartment?"

"You don't want to know." I reply with a smile. She gestures with her hands for me to continue while she's taking a bite of the pizza. "Okay, but promise not to laugh." She nods. "Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise" We lock our pinkies for a few moments.

"On the sixteenth of November, half of the apartment was decorated. Everything else on the twenty-fifth of November."

"Are you serious?" She's honestly trying not to laugh, but she smiles wild. I feel warm on my cheeks. "What made you decorate the house so early?"

"I don't know, I wanted to start shooting Christmas' content in advance, and background has to look festive". Sophie seems to be completely satisfied with my answer. "When have you decorated your house?"

"I haven't done it yet. I'm not sure if I want to."

"Really? Christmas without a tree?" She nods. "Why?"

"I don't know. I'm not really good at this."

"You have to decorate your home. Besides, if you want, I'll help you." Sophie nods again and smiles, but looks anywhere but at me. She doesn't take my words seriously, does she?

We sit for about an hour and talk about different things, everything. There's no awkward silence. I feel comfortable around her, I can be silly and grown-up at the same time. I like it. I like her smile, her voice and thoughts as well.

After the pizzeria, we take a walk, Sophie shows me all the sights of the town: the square where we take some photos and the forest that surrounds us. As I notice, this's not a small town in which nothing happens. There're a lot of people, stores, markets. Sophie doesn't seem to know about it.