The Sapphic Christmas

29th December

Sophie

It's our last day here, so everyone's already starting to gather in the morning. Since we have time until twelve o'clock in the evening, we watch movies and play board games for the most of the day. Today we watch typical Christmas movies (as always), even though the Christmas itself is over.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I suggested to Ella to have some alone time. I like being with friends, but I feel like I want to get closer to Ellie. This won't be achieved if we're always surrounded by people.

"Let's go."

We leave the house and go towards the shops. Large snowflakes slowly fall from the sky, creating an even more romantic atmosphere. I don't want to go anywhere else; I want to stay here with Ella, just to be together for a little while, in the silence. We haven't yet discussed our past conflict; we haven't talked about what we will do next. Maybe all this's her gift to me for Christmas and nothing more. After the holiday, she will go away and leave me alone. Where are the chances that this won't happen? No, I know Ella, she wouldn't do that. Why would one start a relationship if they want to cut it off soon?

I just shake my head, pushing the thoughts away from me. I don't need to mess this up. Everything is fine, I have to think a little less time and everything will be incredible. I stop and pull the girl towards me. This's a very romantic moment in my imagination, so I'm not going to miss it. The girl doesn't look shocked when she turns to me. There's a twinkle of love in her eyes. The eyes of children also sparkles when they get into a fairy tale.

"Do you know that you are very beautiful?" I bring my face closer to hers, leaving a few inches between our faces. "You're beautiful, sweet, incredible."

"Thanks." She lowers her gaze. "Really, thank you." We make eye contact again; I'm not going to look away anymore or let her do it. So, I take her face in my hands. "Please, just don't change your mind about me." I understand that something is bothering her, but I'm not sure I have the right to insist on finding out about it. Maybe these're the secrets that she doesn't want to tell. I want to know. I want to help her deal with it. Nobody has to fight alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ella is on the edge of crying and I don't want her to cry. At the same time, I understand that these tears can help her. Or if she speaks out and talks about all her worries.

"Yes, I do, but we can do it later." We just stand for a while hugging, looking into each other's eyes, I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. She starts giggling.

We dance in silence; she murmurs something slow. I listen to her voice. My eyes are closed. I don't want to be anywhere else at the moment. That's my heaven.